Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: in a state of love
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Ditto. I can't even repeat what I said when I found out I was having twins. Acupuncture, yoga, and swimming helped me alot. The birth was OK, be prepped for every possibility (like 2, 38 weekers, both over 7 pounds, in the NICU). Once home I got as much help as possible, even help a night a few times a week.
Breastfeeding was pretty simple after the first month. My older daughter was 2.4 when we brought the twins home. I felt terribly guilty the entire 1st year. I tried to get out with DD every other day or so, even for just an hour. That made a huge difference (and I loved getting away from the twin newborns!).
Now they are 5, 2.5 and 2.5 and it's magic. I never would have believed it. Never. I never planned on 3 kids and the workload does kill me. But frankly, I don't even know what people with *only* one baby at a time DO? The interplay between the kids is such un unexpected blessing. Like a whole other dimension. When I think of having 2 kids, one after the other - that just makes me sad.
Twins are truly incredibly special. You'll see. In 2 years .
and no one seems to understand.
I know that I should be thrilled and overjoyed that we are expecting two babies. We tried so hard and for so long and were finally successful.
But I can't get happy. I have no idea if it is mostly related to how I am feeling physically right now (I feel awful) or if is due to something deeper.
But the thoughts I have sometimes scare me. Like, how can I possibly do this and come out with my sanity and marriage intact? The baby stage was really hard on us with our son. He was extremely high needs and still is. There was very little sleep involved for a loooong time. How on earth am I going to survive two?
I just don't think that I can. I just am so scared that I cannot be a good mother to that many. And no one understands this fear. They say things like "You will do fine" or "You will adjust." And frankly, that just isn't helpful right now.
Not to mention that the thought of something traumatic happening during this birth brings about severe anxiety. I had a traumatic birth with my son and barely made it through.
I don't know what I am really wanting. Basically someone to tell me that these thoughts aren't crazy and that they had the same feelings.
I am also wondering if I should see a therapist or something. The thoughts and feelings that come with this are really piling up on me.
Catholic homeschooling mom of 5 - a teenager, a kindergartener, twin boys and a tiny princess. Follow the Adventures!
Thank you all again for all the responses. It is nice to read through them when I am having a down moment.
I had a therapy visit yesterday and it went great. I really like the doctor and feel that I made a great decision! It was great to be able to talk about my feelings.
Thank you for this thread. My #1 was high needs, #2 wasn't but I'm not as scared about the after birth part as I should be. (Although almost a month ago right after I found out it was twins I watched a woman carry a 14 month old into preschool to pick up her other child and I was so jealous it was only one and so simple for her.)
I'm so scared about the pregnancy and birth. Every damned time I turn around there's something that's not going to go as planned with a singleton. I feel badly for not being appreciative for what we've got and thrilled (and people who find out are about shocked that I'm not beside myself with joy) but the logistics of it all are overwhelming. I'm still in mourning over the loss of knowing what's going on based on having two births before - this all feels new for me, like a first pregnancy again. Silly, but true.
I'm actually considering counseling and the midwives think it's a good idea to at least meet with a counselor before the babies come. I have a strong history of depressive types mental illness in my family and have escaped PPD twice now, but this time it may not be so. They think at least meeting with someone before the birth may make it easier post-birth if I need to see someone. It's something we're all keeping a very, very close eye on this time around.