Co-bedding twins - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 24 Old 06-20-2009, 01:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My boys are 4 months old (my how time flies) and they are no longer co-sleeping with us. I do have them sharing a crib. I'm curious if your babies co-bedded, and if so, how long did you let them? They don't disturb each other and they actually seem to enjoy it. We will often put them down in separate sides of the crib and they move towards each other. They have to be touching. It's tooo darn cute for words!

Anyway...I'm just curious as to how long yours shared a crib and what made separate them.

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#2 of 24 Old 06-20-2009, 02:00 PM
 
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We will often put them down in separate sides of the crib and they move towards each other. They have to be touching. It's tooo darn cute for words!
My girls used to do that, too!!! Isn't that the best? Sleepy twin love!

We put the girls in separate cribs when they were starting to wake one another up too often. It became pretty clear that they needed more space, as they would crawl into one another not in a loving way, but in an "I'm mobile" sort of way. For us this happened at around 6 months (and I remember thinking that we should have done it sooner, b/c after we put them in separate cribs we all slept much better). They still slept best in the same room, just different cribs.

I'm pretty sure some MoMs on here never had to use separate sleeping spaces, so it probably depends on the babies, too, like everything else! You'll know if you need to change things when you need to change them - make sense?!

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#3 of 24 Old 06-20-2009, 02:05 PM
 
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My best friend has twin boys who just turned a year old and they still share a crib. Sometimes they use each other as a pillow!

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#4 of 24 Old 06-20-2009, 02:25 PM
 
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My twins never enjoyed sleeping together much. I think it's because their sleep cycles are so very different. They stopped co-bedding when they started moving, which for us was 3 months (B was crawling well at that point!)
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#5 of 24 Old 06-20-2009, 02:33 PM
 
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Mine first co-bedded at about 4 weeks old in the NICU, then at home until they were about 8 months old (5.5 adjusted). At that point they started waking each other up with kicks in the head, etc., so we put together the second crib. Around 2 years they rejected the crib thing and have slept together in a Queen sized bed ever since. Well, except for every night they migrate (usually one-by-one) to our King bed...

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#6 of 24 Old 06-20-2009, 03:28 PM
 
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I've been wondering about this too- the NICU people won't put them together and say I shouldn't either, that it increases their chances of SIDS per the AAP. I have always felt otherwise. I was wondering where you all stood on the situation

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#7 of 24 Old 06-20-2009, 08:03 PM
 
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Mine slept together until 7 months. Like yours, they seemed to migrate together & used to sleep touching. At 7 months, one of them was a very unsettled sleeper & did much better on his own.
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#8 of 24 Old 06-20-2009, 08:34 PM
 
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Jayme, I'm pretty sure every twin study out there has shown twins do better together in NICU. Poo on the APP.
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#9 of 24 Old 06-20-2009, 09:59 PM
 
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We have a crib sidecarred to our bed.They don't do well next to each other at all, so this works well. Usually one will sleep in the crib, then me, then baby, then my husband. It is nice because I just roll over to nurse.

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#10 of 24 Old 06-20-2009, 10:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ApplePieBaby View Post
I've been wondering about this too- the NICU people won't put them together and say I shouldn't either, that it increases their chances of SIDS per the AAP. I have always felt otherwise. I was wondering where you all stood on the situation
Funny, our NICU supported co-bedding. It was a huge milestone that I was really looking forward to, having both of them doing well enough that they could be in the same crib. Our NICU had a policy of not doing that until they were both in the open air cribs, and not the isolettes. However, they broke that rule for us because they knew I really wanted the babies together. Many days before my DD came out of her isolette, I came in and was shocked to see them sharing an isolette! : And you know what? DD's weight gains took off once she was sharing with her brother, and I swore to the neonatologist that putting them together had really flipped a switch for her.

As for the OP's question, I have my 9 mo olds sleeping next to each other in my bed with me. Occasionally they'll disturb each other, but mostly they like tobe nearby. Close enough to reach out and touch if they want to. And sometimes they'll scoot together so their heads are almost touching. It's too adorable to split them up, so I won't until they're disturbing each other!
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#11 of 24 Old 06-21-2009, 12:01 AM
 
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Ours still sleep together at 18mo in our bed. They used to sleep in the crib together sometimes, too. I like seeing the wacky positions they end up in when I come back to bed in the evening.

mother to girl (8), boy (7), girl (5) and twin boys (12/07) and a little boy due Feb 5!!
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#12 of 24 Old 06-21-2009, 01:36 AM
 
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Mine aren't cobedding in a crib (we still cosleep) but I just thought I'd mention that they have gone through cycles where waking each other up is concerned. There was a period when the napping got really bad and one (or the other) was always waking up the other baby. But it seemed to be a phase related to whatever difficult developmental thing they were going through, and they returned to (mostly) cobedding without incident for naps and evening (before I go to bed myself, and join them.)

They are 11 months old (as of today!) I've noticed for the last couple of days that they are flipping & flopping to get close together, and then one'll flail an arm (HARD) to be in contact with his twin. All without "incident," as both stay asleep.

Also in the last two nights, I've had to move one or the other in the middle of the night when I'll hear the one underneath start grunting and making protesting noises as his brother is lying full on him. (That has happened twice, when the restless one on top is pretty close to waking to nurse.) But there have been times (both napping and also sleeping in the early evening) when one twin will wake crying loudly to nurse, and by the time I get to them he has crawled onto his brother and has a knee digging deep into his belly or chest while screaming above him. And I rush in, scoop him up, latch him on, and eye the sleeping twin nervously only to have him give a big sigh and turn, or something, seemingly unphased and sleeping on to the natural end of his nap.

So, even though I've definitely passed through a couple periods when I swore I needed to find separate sleep/nap spaces for them, they've always cycled through to a place that they are relatively in synch and certainly not waking each other all the time.
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#13 of 24 Old 06-21-2009, 01:39 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Intertwined View Post
My twins never enjoyed sleeping together much. I think it's because their sleep cycles are so very different. They stopped co-bedding when they started moving, which for us was 3 months (B was crawling well at that point!)
Are you SERIOUS???!!! (That must be a typo, right?!) I remember following your blog and reading that Ben was crawling already, but I did NOT remember that he was crawling at 3 months!
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#14 of 24 Old 06-21-2009, 02:42 PM
 
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Jayme, there are numerous studies to support co-bedding twins in the NICU. When I went into the hospital in PTL, I knew this and asked about it and was told they just didn't do it in our hospital. Then when they were 4 weeks old, a new neo came on service and suddenly I was told my twins were going to be co-bedded - first twins ever at our hospital. She actually put together a folder full of studies that was kept at their isolette, so the nurses and whoever else was interested could read about it. It really stinks that your NICU is behind on this research. Hopefully they'll be home soon and you can make your own decision.

Betsy, mama to beautiful, strong MZ twins Lillian and Kate, born 11 weeks early on January 10, 2006.
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#15 of 24 Old 06-21-2009, 02:49 PM
 
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My girls all slept in the same crib until 11 months. Then dd3 decided she wanted to sleep alone. They slept like that until 2 when we moved dd1 into our bed full-time. We went to Israel when they were 2.5 and all three slept in a queen so we came home and moved them all into a queen. A couple weeks ago (at 3 years) dd3 again decided she wanted to sleep alone so she sleeps on her crib mattress on the floor next to the queen.

All of these beds are in the master bedroom along with ours and they have free access to our bed.

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#16 of 24 Old 06-21-2009, 03:05 PM
 
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They still sleep together with us in the family bed. They sleep right next to eachother, all cuddled up. (5.5 yo.)
They've always been in the bed with us.
(Or actually, they sleep in the 120 bed right next to our 180 bed.)
One is severe SN and needs to sleep right next to us, otherwise I think they might have enjoyed sleeping together in their bed in their own room. But they do not sleep well at all w/o eachother.

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#17 of 24 Old 06-21-2009, 06:47 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AmyC View Post
Are you SERIOUS???!!! (That must be a typo, right?!) I remember following your blog and reading that Ben was crawling already, but I did NOT remember that he was crawling at 3 months!
Nope, not a typo! We were actually shocked that it took him til 12 months to learn to walk. I think he was physically able much before he did begin but he'd gotten so fast at crawling that walking slowed him down too much! He's a busy guy. They've both learned to CLIMB in the last couple weeks. I am picking a twin off something high every 15 seconds or so...
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#18 of 24 Old 06-22-2009, 12:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you so much for all of your responses. I was not able to co-bed in the NICU which was very upsetting for me. Because of a miscommuncaiton I thought I could, but then as it turned out they don't even have a policy.

I'm thrilled to be able to do it now.

Babywearing, breastfeeding, Mother of MoMo twins and their older brother.
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#19 of 24 Old 06-22-2009, 02:31 AM
 
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Ours slept in the same crib almost from birth. I had one in the NICU and one rooming in with me at the hospital (we were there for a week) and every chance we got D and I would go and visit R (we basically spent all of our time there) and I didn't even ask. I just put them in the same basinet and kept them there until I had to go to sleep. Once we got home, they were in the same bed until they were about 6 months when during nap time I heard all this giggling. I went upstairs and found that they had turned themselves around (I would put them toe to toe) and were rocking on all fours bumping heads and laughing uncontrollably. Too bad I didn't grab the camera before I went to investigate!!

That night I borrowed a second crib from a neighbor and they sleep in seperate cribs right next to each other. Sometimes when I go in and check on them before I go to bed they are even holding hands through the bars, but one is too much of a restless sleeper for his brother to be safe in the same sleep space.

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#20 of 24 Old 06-23-2009, 11:29 PM
 
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Great to read e/o's experiences!!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by AmyC View Post
So, even though I've definitely passed through a couple periods when I swore I needed to find separate sleep/nap spaces for them, they've always cycled through to a place that they are relatively in synch and certainly not waking each other all the time.
So good to know this. I'm planning on us co-sleeping (assuming that we buy a king bed) or doing the sidecar. When they need to move to a crib, I'd like for them to still sleep together if possible!

Pathways Magazine is such a great resource for me! I get it for free through my chiropractor. Anyway, I know that co-sleeping has been a prominent topic in their publication, so I went back to look:

http://www.pathwaystofamilywellness....rences_18.html
THE OUTER WOMB

Why We Never Ask:“Is It Safe For Infants to Sleep Alone?”
James J. McKenna PhD

From the Article:

The “debate” about where infants should sleep and which hazards associated with different sleep environments are worth solving has never taken place on a level social or scientific playing field. Moral beliefs about how and where infants and children should sleep in western cultures are both tied to, and reflected in, the methods and conditions used to study infant sleep. Data collected on solitary, bottle-fed infants currently serves as the “gold standard” in research methodology, despite the fact that both breastfeeding and forms of cosleeping are reaching historic highs. Thus, the pediatric sleep research community increasingly finds itself at odds with the behavior of the families it attempts to serve. This incongruity illustrates how tenacious traditional social and medical values and conventional understandings of infant sleep have become and why contemporary families feel so confused, frustrated, and unsupported.

About the Author:

Dr. James J. McKenna is a Professor of Anthropology and the Director of the Center for Behavioral Studies of Mother-Infant Sleep, Notre Dame University. Reprinted with permission of the author.

References:

Hoffman, J. "Sleep like a baby: what does that really mean?" Today's Parent 1999; 16 (7): 34-40
Wright. R. "Why Johnny can't sleep." Time. April 14,1997.
Nix, Shann "Confessions of a Bed Lizard." Mothering Magazine 2000; No 98:48-50. Carroll-Pankhurst C, Mortimer A. "Sudden infant death syndrome, bed-sharing, parental weight, and age at death." Pediatrics 2001;
107(3):530-536.
Drago DA, Dannenberg AL "Infant mechanical suffocation deaths in the United States, 1980-1997." Pediatrics. 1999; 103: 5:e59.
Nakamura S. Wind M. Danello M.D. "Review of hazards associated with children placed in adult beds." Arch Pediat Adoles Med. 1999; 153:1018-1023.
Kemp J. Unger B. Wilkins N. Psara R. Udbetler TL. ADJ. Graham MA. Cose A. Thach B. "Unsafe sleep practices and an analysis of bed-sharing among infants dying suddenly and unexpectedly: Results of a four year population-based, death scene investigation of the sudden infant death syndrome and related deaths." Pediatrics 2001; 106:3. p e41
McKenna J. "Cultural influences on infant sleep biology and the science that studies it: toward a more inclusive paradigm." In Sleep and Breathing in Children: A Developmental Approach (2000). Eds. Loughlin GM. Carroll JL. Marcus CL Marcel Dekker Inc: New York, 99-130.
See "Co-Sleeping & Suffocation: A Response to the Consumer Product Safety Commission Study"
Mosco S. Richard C. McKenna JJ. Drummond S. "Infant sleep architecture during bed-sharing with infant and possible implications for SIDS." Sleep 1996 19:677-684
Mosco S. Richard C. and McKenna JJ. "Infant arousals during mother-infant bed-sharing; implications for infant sleep and SIDS research." Pediatrics. 1997; 100; 5: 841-849.
Young J.Fleming PJ. "Reducing the risks of SIDS: The role of the pediatrician." Paediatrics Today. 1998; 6 (2):41-48.
McKenna JJ. Mosko S. Dungy C. and McAnin C. "Sleep and arousal patterns of co-sleeping human mother/infant pairs: A preliminary physiological study with implications for the study of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS)." Amer J Phys Anthrop 1990; 83:331-347.
McKenna JJ. Mosko S. Richard C. "Bed-sharing promotes breastfeeding." Pediatrics. 1997; 100:214-219.

Hmm, I know there was another great article about SIDS in a recent Pathways, but I can't find it right now.

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#21 of 24 Old 07-01-2009, 05:44 PM
 
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I had to put our boys in separate beds by 3 months too. They also were moving and groving and would bang their heads together no matter how far apart I put them. I was up enough as it was, I couldn't handle the extra waking from the head bashing too!

Hey Intertwined, if you ever want to vent about early moving and climbing twins, let me know! My boys were climbing onto kitchen cupboards by about 9months and walking by 10 months. I know lots of tricks!

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#22 of 24 Old 07-05-2009, 05:30 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by obxbound View Post
My boys are 4 months old (my how time flies) and they are no longer co-sleeping with us. I do have them sharing a crib. I'm curious if your babies co-bedded, and if so, how long did you let them? They don't disturb each other and they actually seem to enjoy it. We will often put them down in separate sides of the crib and they move towards each other. They have to be touching. It's tooo darn cute for words!

Anyway...I'm just curious as to how long yours shared a crib and what made separate them.
my boys are 14m old, and still in the pack n play together ....

Catholic homeschooling mom of 5 - a teenager, a kindergartener, twin boys and a tiny princess. Follow the Adventures! 

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#23 of 24 Old 07-08-2009, 11:54 AM
 
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Mine shared. They finally seperated for good when they were 4. When they were born the nurses placed them in seperate cots and they cried and cried. I swaddled them together with DS 'hugging' DD and they calmed down and slept. At home they slept in an old pram beside our bed until they were 3 mos. then moved to the crib where they slept happily together. On board our boat all three shared a bed when they were babies and toddler. It was like a big pile of baby every night, legs and arms in all directions, one using another's bum for a pillow, another with a foot acroos their eyes....but they slept and were happy and that was the main thing.
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#24 of 24 Old 07-08-2009, 11:30 PM
 
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We cobed because it gives us wonderful, glorious sleep! My babies will sleep 8-12 hours if they're sleeping side by side. They wake up every hour or so if they're not touching. So they co-bed and will as long as humanly possible.

Welcoming our twins :: born February 21, 2009 at 33 weeks! :
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