The idea of having twins is causing panic attacks.... - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 37 Old 08-25-2009, 02:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
nummies's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: in a state of love
Posts: 3,257
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So, tell me that you all went through this too.

I hit the 20 week mark today. These twins are coming in like 4-5 months. And just the thought of that is enough to cause me to break out into a cold sweat.

I am scared about taking care of three kids on no sleep. I am scared about having enough time and energy to breastfeed two babies at the same time. I am scared that my toddler won't feel as special or as loved. I am scared that they won't ever sleep. I am scared that I will never get time to myself because they won't nap at the same time. I am scared I may have a nervous breakdown trying to care for everyone.

These worries are normal right? Like, I just don't want them to come out. They can stay in there for the next two years or so....

Tell me it won't be that bad.

Three boys.  jumpers.gif
nummies is offline  
#2 of 37 Old 08-25-2009, 03:35 PM
 
DeerMother's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: next to the fireplace
Posts: 2,203
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Most of the time in the newborn stage wasn't that bad. There were some rough spots, but you just do what you have to do - including letting some things slide from your priority list and asking for help. Fwiw, the reality that I had twins didn't really set in until they were several months old. You'll just do your best and that is all you can do. Your older dc will adjust and it will be fine. Honestly, you may not have much time for yourself. In the first half year, my alone time was watching tv or internet while nursing. I made a weekly date w/ myself when they were 11 months. So. . . it will be crazy for a while, but you'll pull through and a new normal will emerge.
p.s. yes, I think your fears are normal.

 Single mama to two wild and sweet toddlers 2/08
DeerMother is offline  
#3 of 37 Old 08-25-2009, 04:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
nummies's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: in a state of love
Posts: 3,257
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by esaesa View Post
Most of the time in the newborn stage wasn't that bad. There were some rough spots, but you just do what you have to do - including letting some things slide from your priority list and asking for help. Fwiw, the reality that I had twins didn't really set in until they were several months old. You'll just do your best and that is all you can do. Your older dc will adjust and it will be fine. Honestly, you may not have much time for yourself. In the first half year, my alone time was watching tv or internet while nursing. I made a weekly date w/ myself when they were 11 months. So. . . it will be crazy for a while, but you'll pull through and a new normal will emerge.
p.s. yes, I think your fears are normal.
Thank you. I do have some help lined up during the day for the first several weeks. I gotta say though, it isn't the day that worries me, it is the nights.

Three boys.  jumpers.gif
nummies is offline  
#4 of 37 Old 08-25-2009, 05:24 PM
 
mamaeliz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 640
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You never know what kind of babies you will get. My nights with the twins were never that rough. I can count on one hand the number of significantly "rough" nites.
Did they wake often to feed? yes. But I slept with them, so I just sat up a little and tandemed them back to sleep. If one wanted to linger on the breast, I'd just lay down with that one attached.
It was hard with DD1, but she stepped up to the challenge of it all. Do we still have extraordinarily hard times with her? uh huh!!! But, overall, it works out.
Get as much help as you can. People helping were not much substitute for me (nursing babies, older sibling wanting mama), but they fed me and my family, and that was great.
I think that it was about the same time as you that I freaked out. It's big. But there are many mamas here to tell you that you will get through it, and life will look differently.... richer in some areas, and lacking a bit in others, but overall, quite good.
mamaeliz is offline  
#5 of 37 Old 08-25-2009, 05:26 PM
 
childsplay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: In the woods.
Posts: 445
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Don't even think about the nights right now you'll just cause yourself a lot of undue stress and, ironically, you'll keep yourself awake at night worrying : )

It doesn't matter what idea/plan you have before the babes are born in regards to daily life/sleep/survival, it's bound to be different, even a little different than even the best laid plan or the worst fears....

When they arrive, just do what works for you guys, for us (at night) it was wrapping the babes together to sleep in the old pram next to our bed, when they fussed I'd wheel them out, change, nurse, change again them (while indulging in late night TV!) then rewrap them, then I'd peek in at older DS's (1 and 11) then back to bed, some nights I did this 6 times or more, some nights only twice.
Take whatever help you can get during the day, and if a kindly old neighbor offers to stroll the babes down the path while you put your feet up and read to your older kids, please, jump at it :
Don't listen to negativity regarding the sleepless nights, the crying, the nursing, the laundry because it will overwhelm you. Focus on your strength as a mother, your own wisdom and instincts, and revel in it, because it's over before you know it! (Save the panicking for when they both start climbing stairs.....)
I hope I don't sound bossy : )
childsplay is offline  
#6 of 37 Old 08-25-2009, 08:10 PM
 
Intertwined's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: In the midst of Twinsanity
Posts: 3,029
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think your worries are completely normal. The idea of twins totally spun me. I'm still trying to catch up and my duo are 15 months old!

It's probably not going to be as hard as you think. I was seriously prepared for the worst of it. I had a 17 month old high needs daughter, a 3 year old, a 4 year old, and a 6 year old when they were born. I was battening down the hatches! LOL! And it was all consuming and some points were very difficult but overall it was easier than I thought in most ways, they slept well from 4 weeks til 4 months which allowed me to catch my breath, I used the swing and bouncer as much as I had to without an ounce of guilt, I LOVED my double stroller and my buckle soft carrier, and we breezed through. I adore my twins even though I didn't even think I wanted ONE baby when I got an "oops".
Intertwined is offline  
#7 of 37 Old 08-25-2009, 11:13 PM
 
yogafeet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Twin Land
Posts: 883
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by childsplay View Post
Don't even think about the nights right now you'll just cause yourself a lot of undue stress and, ironically, you'll keep yourself awake at night worrying : )

It doesn't matter what idea/plan you have before the babes are born in regards to daily life/sleep/survival, it's bound to be different, even a little different than even the best laid plan or the worst fears....

When they arrive, just do what works for you guys, for us (at night) it was wrapping the babes together to sleep in the old pram next to our bed, when they fussed I'd wheel them out, change, nurse, change again them (while indulging in late night TV!) then rewrap them, then I'd peek in at older DS's (1 and 11) then back to bed, some nights I did this 6 times or more, some nights only twice.
Take whatever help you can get during the day, and if a kindly old neighbor offers to stroll the babes down the path while you put your feet up and read to your older kids, please, jump at it :
Don't listen to negativity regarding the sleepless nights, the crying, the nursing, the laundry because it will overwhelm you. Focus on your strength as a mother, your own wisdom and instincts, and revel in it, because it's over before you know it! (Save the panicking for when they both start climbing stairs.....)
I hope I don't sound bossy : )
A big yeah that to all of that. It's true, you just never know what kind of babies you're gonna get. You could get sleepers, you might not. You just don't know. For me crying wasn't much of an issue b/c I would just stick a breast in their mouths the moment they peeped. Try not to stress too much now. Just enjoy this time with your family as it is now. Twins are a challenge, but from reading your other posts here it sounds like you have met other challenges in your life with grace. Late night tv saved my sanity. Yes, I was upright nursing through the night, but I was watching Three Men and a Baby! I would tape a show or movie and then watch part of it during one session and then look forward to the rest for the next one.

For the help the biggest help will be hanging with your son and/or doing laundry and straightening up. Meals, etc, too.

You'll get through this and then you'll be able to add it to your list of accomplishments. Not many mamas can say they made it through twins. We are SO COOL!

Mama to lovely twin girls 1/08
yogafeet is offline  
#8 of 37 Old 08-25-2009, 11:13 PM
 
Red Pajama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: climbing a mountain of laundry
Posts: 1,348
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Your fears are normal. I was certainly stunned and worried about the complexities of twins. People told me many things about twins, much of which did nothing to calm my fears. My reality was different, and not nearly as bad as people would have me believe.

Nursing twins was ... I don't want to call it difficult, because it worked for me, but it was exhausting. Find a comfortable spot with a good twin pillow and plan on spending lots of time there. Having help is almost a necessity with twins. It'd be great if a relative could come live with you for a few weeks. My doctor wrote my husband a "note" so he could take additional time off, although with family medical leave I'm not sure it was necessary.

Things that saved me were learning to swaddle, and the realization about 4 days home (so about 8 days old) that if one of the babies cried, feed him! We had a miserable 4 days trying to do as I was told and feeding every two hours.

Twins are such a unique blessing. You will find your own rhythm, and define your family's normal. And there is life after infancy. My boys are 4.5 now, and while I miss the baby stage, they continue to amaze me.

Good luck! I wish you a long, healthy pregnancy.

Twin boys (2/05) and little sister (10/07)
Red Pajama is offline  
#9 of 37 Old 08-26-2009, 01:23 AM
 
lexbeach's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Northampton, MA
Posts: 5,057
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Don't forget that your postpartum hormones will help you to deal with the night-wakings. It can be hard to remember that when you aren't experiencing it.

The first 8 weeks of nights were relatively rough for us, but once I figured out side-lying nursing, it seriously was not a big deal. And since you've already nursed a baby, you'll likely be able to side-lie much earlier than that (at least, for me, it was much easier the second time around, I was doing it with my third baby from birth).

I just interviewed my six-year-old twins about what it's like to be twins. They are loving it right now, and I really do feel like we've reached the point where our life is EASIER for having twins. And certainly more fun.

Don't worry!



Lex

Mindfully mothering SIX kids (ages 4, 5, 7, 8, 11 & 11) in a small house with a lot of love.
lexbeach is offline  
#10 of 37 Old 08-26-2009, 04:11 AM
 
mom_of_steele's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Utah
Posts: 98
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow...reading that makes me realize I have been feeling the same thing but haven't really voiced the feelings I guess. I am 29 weeks, so it's getting pretty close. My daughter was SO hard as a baby (screaming all night long for months, re-hospitalized at 2 weeks in pediatrics, constant illnesses) and STILL does not sleep through the night most of the time (at 23 months old) and is SO needy for mommy, that it makes me a bit concerned for how I am going to do it. I just keep thinking "what if BOTH of the babies are screaming ALL night?!" But up until this point I have just kinda shrugged my shoulders and thought, "well, I will just rise to the occasion like I did with my daughter I guess"...just kinda figuring it will all work out in the end. Hopefully I am right lol. It's really hard during tough times to savor the moment...knowing they grow up so fast, but I hope I will remind myself to just try to enjoy it while it lasts. Listening to my hypnobirthing sessions really helps too. I have a fear release one, and they all really just help me to feel more relaxed and at ease about my current as well as my future situations.
mom_of_steele is offline  
#11 of 37 Old 08-26-2009, 09:00 AM
 
herdingkittens's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 207
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It won't be that bad. Really.

It is hard work. But you can do it. You were made to do it!

mother to girl (8), boy (7), girl (5) and twin boys (12/07) and a little boy due Feb 5!!
herdingkittens is offline  
#12 of 37 Old 08-26-2009, 09:42 AM
 
Freeman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 674
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am pg now with twins and right there with you - alternating btwn. depression and panic. I think that I surely must be imagining the worst, so reality is bound to be better.
Freeman is offline  
#13 of 37 Old 08-26-2009, 09:44 AM
 
yogafeet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Twin Land
Posts: 883
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by herdingkittens View Post
It won't be that bad. Really.

It is hard work. But you can do it. You were made to do it!

Mama to lovely twin girls 1/08
yogafeet is offline  
#14 of 37 Old 08-26-2009, 11:25 AM
 
JenChaffee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 218
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I, too, find myself frightened. I am about 4 and a half months. It is reassuring to hear from real people. The books get me nervous. I guess I should be aware of the worst case, but it is when I read too much about what to expect that I find myself dreading January!

These are my first, so I don't have the added worry about older siblings (the stepkids are enough older that I am not worried about it). But here is my other fear. And I feel selfish for having this fear because my logical side assures me that all will work out fine. I am only halfway finished, and I am already ... very substantial. There is another woman at work who is due two months earlier than me, and I have already surpassed her. I manage to frighten myself by envisioning my belly becoming so huge that I become a pain-ridden, non-functional person.
JenChaffee is offline  
#15 of 37 Old 08-26-2009, 12:06 PM
 
MamaChicken's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 1,322
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It's not that bad. We've definately had our moments, but it is managable. DS was 10 yo DD was 9 mo old when I found out I was PG with twins. Major YIKES! I am a fulltime WOHM with a DH working fulltime and going to paramedic school - means I have very little help some days.

Here's the secret:

You just do it. Whatever it is that needs to be done, you just do it.

Be flexible, ask for help (might be dishes and laundry, might be counseling), release the mommy guilt when things aren't ideal, and wallow shamelessly in the abundance of love you are about to recieve!

Blessings mamas!

Joanna - wife to Mike, mamachicken to Cub(8/98), Kitten (4/07), Dew-man, and Woe-boy(twins, 10/08)
MamaChicken is offline  
#16 of 37 Old 08-26-2009, 12:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
nummies's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: in a state of love
Posts: 3,257
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
First of all, thank you soooooo much for talking me through this. It really does help me to hear this from all of you. I am such an anxious person anyway, and the unknowns are just adding to that. I am in therapy, but sometimes you just need the wisdom of other twin mamas to feel better.

I am going to respond to everyone, so this will have to be two huge posts. :

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaeliz View Post
You never know what kind of babies you will get. My nights with the twins were never that rough. I can count on one hand the number of significantly "rough" nites.
Did they wake often to feed? yes. But I slept with them, so I just sat up a little and tandemed them back to sleep. If one wanted to linger on the breast, I'd just lay down with that one attached.
It was hard with DD1, but she stepped up to the challenge of it all. Do we still have extraordinarily hard times with her? uh huh!!! But, overall, it works out.
Get as much help as you can. People helping were not much substitute for me (nursing babies, older sibling wanting mama), but they fed me and my family, and that was great.
I think that it was about the same time as you that I freaked out. It's big. But there are many mamas here to tell you that you will get through it, and life will look differently.... richer in some areas, and lacking a bit in others, but overall, quite good.
I do plan on getting some help with housecleaning and wrangling my toddler. Thanks for the perspective.

Quote:
Originally Posted by childsplay View Post
Don't even think about the nights right now you'll just cause yourself a lot of undue stress and, ironically, you'll keep yourself awake at night worrying : )

Don't listen to negativity regarding the sleepless nights, the crying, the nursing, the laundry because it will overwhelm you. Focus on your strength as a mother, your own wisdom and instincts, and revel in it, because it's over before you know it! (Save the panicking for when they both start climbing stairs.....)
I hope I don't sound bossy : )
Yes, I do stay up at night worrying about the nights to come. It is really hard not to let others' negativity not get to me. All I hear when I say we are having twins is "Oh wow, are you in for it! You are never going to sleep." Frankly I want to punch the next person that says that! And no, you don't sound too bossy at all!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Intertwined View Post
I think your worries are completely normal. The idea of twins totally spun me. I'm still trying to catch up and my duo are 15 months old!

It's probably not going to be as hard as you think. I was seriously prepared for the worst of it. I had a 17 month old high needs daughter, a 3 year old, a 4 year old, and a 6 year old when they were born. I was battening down the hatches! LOL! And it was all consuming and some points were very difficult but overall it was easier than I thought in most ways, they slept well from 4 weeks til 4 months which allowed me to catch my breath, I used the swing and bouncer as much as I had to without an ounce of guilt, I LOVED my double stroller and my buckle soft carrier, and we breezed through. I adore my twins even though I didn't even think I wanted ONE baby when I got an "oops".
Battening down the hatches is a great phrase to describe what I am doing. My husband says that I am preparing for a national disaster. Not that national disasters are funny.... And yes, I will make full use of the bouncer chairs and swings. With NO guilt!

Quote:
Originally Posted by yogafeet View Post
A big yeah that to all of that. It's true, you just never know what kind of babies you're gonna get. You could get sleepers, you might not. You just don't know. For me crying wasn't much of an issue b/c I would just stick a breast in their mouths the moment they peeped. Try not to stress too much now. Just enjoy this time with your family as it is now. Twins are a challenge, but from reading your other posts here it sounds like you have met other challenges in your life with grace. Late night tv saved my sanity. Yes, I was upright nursing through the night, but I was watching Three Men and a Baby! I would tape a show or movie and then watch part of it during one session and then look forward to the rest for the next one.

For the help the biggest help will be hanging with your son and/or doing laundry and straightening up. Meals, etc, too.

You'll get through this and then you'll be able to add it to your list of accomplishments. Not many mamas can say they made it through twins. We are SO COOL!
Yes, can I put in an order for the sleeping kind of baby?! And thank you for the lovely compliment. Oh and late night TV will save me no doubt. Thanks for the vote of confidence.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Red Pajama View Post
Your fears are normal. I was certainly stunned and worried about the complexities of twins. People told me many things about twins, much of which did nothing to calm my fears. My reality was different, and not nearly as bad as people would have me believe.

Nursing twins was ... I don't want to call it difficult, because it worked for me, but it was exhausting. Find a comfortable spot with a good twin pillow and plan on spending lots of time there. Having help is almost a necessity with twins. It'd be great if a relative could come live with you for a few weeks. My doctor wrote my husband a "note" so he could take additional time off, although with family medical leave I'm not sure it was necessary.

Things that saved me were learning to swaddle, and the realization about 4 days home (so about 8 days old) that if one of the babies cried, feed him! We had a miserable 4 days trying to do as I was told and feeding every two hours.

Twins are such a unique blessing. You will find your own rhythm, and define your family's normal. And there is life after infancy. My boys are 4.5 now, and while I miss the baby stage, they continue to amaze me.

Good luck! I wish you a long, healthy pregnancy.
Thank you so much. I am sorry that you were told to feed every two hours. What a way to set up a mama for failure and heartache. I'm glad you pushed through that. My mom does live about 20 minutes away and she only works on weekends so I think that she is going to come help every day for the first couple months. Just having someone else here with me will be a big help I think.

Three boys.  jumpers.gif
nummies is offline  
#17 of 37 Old 08-26-2009, 12:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
nummies's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: in a state of love
Posts: 3,257
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by lexbeach View Post
Don't forget that your postpartum hormones will help you to deal with the night-wakings. It can be hard to remember that when you aren't experiencing it.

The first 8 weeks of nights were relatively rough for us, but once I figured out side-lying nursing, it seriously was not a big deal. And since you've already nursed a baby, you'll likely be able to side-lie much earlier than that (at least, for me, it was much easier the second time around, I was doing it with my third baby from birth).

I just interviewed my six-year-old twins about what it's like to be twins. They are loving it right now, and I really do feel like we've reached the point where our life is EASIER for having twins. And certainly more fun.

Don't worry!



Lex
Thank you for replying! I read your thread about 6 year old twins and it really brightened my day. I hope to get the hang of side-lying nursing a little quicker this time around. With my son it was around 3 months or so.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mom_of_steele View Post
Wow...reading that makes me realize I have been feeling the same thing but haven't really voiced the feelings I guess. I am 29 weeks, so it's getting pretty close. My daughter was SO hard as a baby (screaming all night long for months, re-hospitalized at 2 weeks in pediatrics, constant illnesses) and STILL does not sleep through the night most of the time (at 23 months old) and is SO needy for mommy, that it makes me a bit concerned for how I am going to do it. I just keep thinking "what if BOTH of the babies are screaming ALL night?!" But up until this point I have just kinda shrugged my shoulders and thought, "well, I will just rise to the occasion like I did with my daughter I guess"...just kinda figuring it will all work out in the end. Hopefully I am right lol. It's really hard during tough times to savor the moment...knowing they grow up so fast, but I hope I will remind myself to just try to enjoy it while it lasts. Listening to my hypnobirthing sessions really helps too. I have a fear release one, and they all really just help me to feel more relaxed and at ease about my current as well as my future situations.
Thank you for relating. It is nice to not feel so alone. I am going to start Hypnobabies soon and I hope that helps me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by herdingkittens View Post
It won't be that bad. Really.

It is hard work. But you can do it. You were made to do it!
Thank you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Freeman View Post
I am pg now with twins and right there with you - alternating btwn. depression and panic. I think that I surely must be imagining the worst, so reality is bound to be better.
This is how I feel too. Depressed, then panicky. Thanks for sharing that with me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JenChaffee View Post
I, too, find myself frightened. I am about 4 and a half months. It is reassuring to hear from real people. The books get me nervous. I guess I should be aware of the worst case, but it is when I read too much about what to expect that I find myself dreading January!

These are my first, so I don't have the added worry about older siblings (the stepkids are enough older that I am not worried about it). But here is my other fear. And I feel selfish for having this fear because my logical side assures me that all will work out fine. I am only halfway finished, and I am already ... very substantial. There is another woman at work who is due two months earlier than me, and I have already surpassed her. I manage to frighten myself by envisioning my belly becoming so huge that I become a pain-ridden, non-functional person.
I am dreading January too. Which isn't like me because I love Christmastime and New Years. And don't feel bad about your fear. I also fear that I will be so huge that I won't be able to move and will never lose the weight.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaChicken View Post
You just do it. Whatever it is that needs to be done, you just do it.

Be flexible, ask for help (might be dishes and laundry, might be counseling), release the mommy guilt when things aren't ideal, and wallow shamelessly in the abundance of love you are about to recieve!

Blessings mamas!
I do plan on hiring a cleaning person to come every two weeks or so during the first few months. My mom also lives close and will be on hand to help out. Thanks so much for replying.

Three boys.  jumpers.gif
nummies is offline  
#18 of 37 Old 08-26-2009, 01:18 PM
 
Freeman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 674
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by JenChaffee View Post
But here is my other fear. And I feel selfish for having this fear because my logical side assures me that all will work out fine. I am only halfway finished, and I am already ... very substantial. There is another woman at work who is due two months earlier than me, and I have already surpassed her. I manage to frighten myself by envisioning my belly becoming so huge that I become a pain-ridden, non-functional person.
Yes, I know what you mean. It is hard b/c most pregnant people are just having 1 and so you just feel...huge. I am almost 4 months along but a lot bigger than I was with the singleton pregnancies. Logically, I know that of course I will be bigger, as I am carrying 2, but I am wondering what I will feel like/look like at 7 months, 8 months, etc. Being mobile and active is very important to me, so I also have a fear of bedrest.
Freeman is offline  
#19 of 37 Old 08-27-2009, 12:33 AM
 
Intertwined's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: In the midst of Twinsanity
Posts: 3,029
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was pretty darn big but I wouldn't say that I was a miserable, non-functioning person until the very, bitter end. Last two weeks? I couldn't move and I was miserable and I hated everyone. Then they came out and I recovered and I felt like it was all worth it and loved every single second.
Intertwined is offline  
#20 of 37 Old 08-27-2009, 12:37 AM
 
Intertwined's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: In the midst of Twinsanity
Posts: 3,029
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i just now remember that when I found out I was pregnant with twins, I googled "twin belly pictures" and then sat in front of the computer and cried.
Intertwined is offline  
#21 of 37 Old 08-27-2009, 05:59 AM
 
mom_of_steele's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Utah
Posts: 98
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Intertwined View Post
i just now remember that when I found out I was pregnant with twins, I googled "twin belly pictures" and then sat in front of the computer and cried.
LOL...that's funny
mom_of_steele is offline  
#22 of 37 Old 08-27-2009, 08:36 AM
 
MamaRabbit's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: FL transplanted in Asia
Posts: 5,107
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I didn't even think about it. I didn't want to think about it. Seriously I knew it would be bad but really didn't want to know just how bad. So I focused on twin pregnancy figuring I'd deal with the whole situation once I was in it.

Honestly, it was really hard but nowhere as bad as I thought it would be.

Missionary, birth-worker, midwifery student
Mama to love.gif DD (9yr), DS luxlove.gif (3yr), & 2twins.gif UC twin DDs (5yr)

MamaRabbit is offline  
#23 of 37 Old 08-27-2009, 09:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
nummies's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: in a state of love
Posts: 3,257
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaRabbit View Post
I didn't even think about it. I didn't want to think about it. Seriously I knew it would be bad but really didn't want to know just how bad. So I focused on twin pregnancy figuring I'd deal with the whole situation once I was in it.

Honestly, it was really hard but nowhere as bad as I thought it would be.
Good to know.

Intertwined:

Three boys.  jumpers.gif
nummies is offline  
#24 of 37 Old 08-27-2009, 11:11 AM
 
Julia'sMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,431
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Intertwined View Post
i just now remember that when I found out I was pregnant with twins, I googled "twin belly pictures" and then sat in front of the computer and cried.
I just did this the other day ... and cried. Of course, it's cause I'm already outgrowing the maternity wear I used when dd was full term. Dresses are becoming my only option. Eeek. And yes, this is a fear, stupid and selfish, that I am trying so hard to overcome. I need to eat to feed these babies and want to glory in my belly instead of worrying about the waddling and massive girth.

Oh, and nummies, I also agree with the poster who said they just didn't think about it. By avoiding and just focusing on what I need to do this month to prepare, I've found a lot more calm. I'm sure the beginning will be hard and I've already told people that the best thing they can do is visit and support us. I'll deal with the rest when it comes. (where's the ostrich with his head in the sand smilie?)

J A with DD1 7/06, lost twins 9/08
DD2 12/09 & DS1 12/09
Julia'sMom is offline  
#25 of 37 Old 08-27-2009, 01:59 PM
 
Intertwined's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: In the midst of Twinsanity
Posts: 3,029
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
J, if you have the funds, invest in a pair or two of the "secret belly" jeans at Motherhood in a size larger than your norm. I was constantly hiking up the hips but they carried me through the very end, when I had to stop wearing them not because they didn't fit but because it was May in Texas. Then I had a pair of the same style capri's and a sundress that I literally wore thin. I gave birth in that dress and now it's in their memory box.
Intertwined is offline  
#26 of 37 Old 08-27-2009, 03:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
nummies's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: in a state of love
Posts: 3,257
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yeah, don't me started on clothes. I plan to just be naked the entire winter....

Three boys.  jumpers.gif
nummies is offline  
#27 of 37 Old 08-27-2009, 06:58 PM
 
Intertwined's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: In the midst of Twinsanity
Posts: 3,029
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by nummies View Post
Yeah, don't me started on clothes. I plan to just be naked the entire winter....
Well, at least you'll be warm enough! : At some points it was winter, I had the heat off and the windows open, and poor DH would be sitting there in his sweats, with a hat and blanket, shivering and begging me to close them!
Intertwined is offline  
#28 of 37 Old 08-28-2009, 03:12 AM
 
mom_of_steele's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Utah
Posts: 98
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by nummies View Post
Yeah, don't me started on clothes. I plan to just be naked the entire winter....
AMEN! It is actually like 105 degrees where I am and I do have a pair of the secret fit jeans or whatever they are called, from my last pregnancy and have been wearing them (so hot). But for the most part, that's the only thing that fits (at 30 weeks). Although...sometimes my belly hurts and itches so bad that I can't wear them for long. I'd rather have something not touching my belly. So I made a really large size of a "maxi" dress...which would normally be really cute, but since I'm so huge, it pretty much looks like a tent on me, and my whole family was making fun of me (in a nice way I guess...just saying they couldn't help it, cause I am just so huge). But, it is really comfortable cause it's all long and flowing and it totally loose around my belly.
mom_of_steele is offline  
#29 of 37 Old 08-28-2009, 05:59 AM
 
ApplePieBaby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 679
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I never actually thought about the logistics of taking care of twins LOL
I was so focused on staying pregnant long enough that they'd be viable and healthy.
It's overwhelming now that they're here, but I've never been the most organized person LOL
I just take it day by day. My guys don't like to sleep at night, but nap decently during the day. And neither seem to really like the swing or bouncer, but LOVE being out of the house. They totally get restless if we don't go for walks or to the store, and then get ornery.

Jayme-
Boy13, Boy12, Boy10, Girl7, Girl5, Twin Boys 6/14/09
ApplePieBaby is offline  
#30 of 37 Old 08-30-2009, 04:13 PM
 
bfw0729's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 168
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by childsplay View Post
Don't even think about the nights right now you'll just cause yourself a lot of undue stress and, ironically, you'll keep yourself awake at night worrying : )

It doesn't matter what idea/plan you have before the babes are born in regards to daily life/sleep/survival, it's bound to be different, even a little different than even the best laid plan or the worst fears....

When they arrive, just do what works for you guys, for us (at night) it was wrapping the babes together to sleep in the old pram next to our bed, when they fussed I'd wheel them out, change, nurse, change again them (while indulging in late night TV!) then rewrap them, then I'd peek in at older DS's (1 and 11) then back to bed, some nights I did this 6 times or more, some nights only twice.
Take whatever help you can get during the day, and if a kindly old neighbor offers to stroll the babes down the path while you put your feet up and read to your older kids, please, jump at it :
Don't listen to negativity regarding the sleepless nights, the crying, the nursing, the laundry because it will overwhelm you. Focus on your strength as a mother, your own wisdom and instincts, and revel in it, because it's over before you know it! (Save the panicking for when they both start climbing stairs.....)
I hope I don't sound bossy : )
I very much agree with this!

SO sorry, OT
Intertwined... HOW do you do it, really?! I have almost 3 year olds (in a couple of months) and a 13.5 month old and found the first year of the baby's life so challenging mixed in with twin 1.5 year olds! Yours are so little/young and still very dependent on you. I really would love more, but I guess I'm selfish and scared to go through that first year again. My husband would love more.
bfw0729 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off