When to add a third baby... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 03-18-2010, 02:46 PM - Thread Starter
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My twins are 10 mos old and I am considering another baby. I am a SAHM and have my hands full, especially nighttime parenting. However, I do think another child would be nice and have a family of 5. I don't want to wait to long since I took off time to raise my kiddos and would like to return to the work field when they are old enough for preschool.

Would love advice on parents who have twins then had another baby. Did you have a third too soon? I am still nursing the twins and plan to until they decide not too. One DD is getting close to night weaning herself.

Any advice would be appreciated!
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#2 of 10 Old 03-18-2010, 03:20 PM
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My knee jerk opinion on these things is that a smaller gap is better for kids and a longer gap is better for parents. My siblings and I are 2 years apart almost to the day and I really like that. But none of us are twins.

Don't think we're having another, but my twins are just 2 now and I know they would have loved to be big sisters!

Good luck whatever you decide.

Mom to : Belle and Izzy
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#3 of 10 Old 03-18-2010, 07:17 PM
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We waited longer than we intended (our twins are 3 years, 9 months older than our third son), and it worked out perfectly. My twins were really past babyhood by the time ds#3 arrived, and I got to experience having JUST ONE baby, which would not have been true if they'd been close in age. Plus, our twins have always gotten along great with their younger brother, and they started playing together when he was just a year old. I'd definitely recommend waiting longer.


Mindfully mothering SIX kids (ages 6, 7, 8, 10, 12 & 12) in a small house with a lot of love.
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#4 of 10 Old 03-18-2010, 11:20 PM
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I got pregnant when my twins were 2 and I honestly think I would have lost it, or needed a fair amount of help, if I'd had my singleton any sooner. My girls were tough tough tough as 2-year olds. They were 2 years, 9 months when my littlest one was born. While there were still hard times, they were much easier at closer to 3 and 3 than they were at 2.

Also I was still nursing the girls when I got PG and it broke my heart, but I weaned them while I was pregnant. I got really unbearable agitation while I was nursing them when I was pregnant. I was glad we made it to nearly 2-1/2. My milk was gone by 12 weeks or so and I think dry tandem nursing is what did me in. So I'd be wary about getting pregnant too soon from that perspective, too.

My girls love their brother and they include him in their play to a certain extent. He's 2, so obviously his pretend play isn't as elaborate as theirs, but they often find a way to include him.

I'm really happy with the age gap we have. Any closer and I don't know how much of my baby's babyhood I would have been able to savor.

SAHM to F & P, : fraternal twins born 3/05, : I, born 12/07 & at 5 weeks in July 2009
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#5 of 10 Old 03-19-2010, 12:07 PM
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I did not want to get pregnant before my twins turned two, because I wanted them to at least have two years of nursing. Also, any closer would have been crazy for me in terms of baby care.

We also knew we wanted the kids fairly close together, and we had (still have) a crappy insurance situation, and wanted to be pregnant and deliver in the same calendar year. So that ment I got pregnant the month they turned two, and my singleton was born when the boys were three months shy of three.

I do like that they play together well. They are old enough to be careful with her, and enjoy each other's company. The age range is enjoyable. However, I do regret that I didn't have more time with just my twins. Just tha point when they were getting very managable, I was getting uncomfortably pregnant, and then we added an infant to the mix and I could barely get to my mother's group, much less fun outings I was picturing.

I guess I'm saying I'm not sure I waited long enough, but it seems to be working out.

Twin boys (2/05) and little sister (10/07)
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#6 of 10 Old 03-20-2010, 10:20 PM
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I was actually wondering this same thing. I have an older DS who is almost 3 years older than the twins and the first several months were very difficult for the four of us (I'm a SAHM and have had no help other than DH in the evenings and weekends). At 7 months, things are finally starting to feel normal again and so the idea of adding number 4 is starting to enter my mind. I was thinking that having the next one closer in age to the twins would be easier because DS1 was a MUCH easier kid at 2 than at 3, but the nursing thing is a good point and probably is enough to sway my decision. I don't know if the "perfect" spacing actually exists...and if it does, I'm not sure it can be predicted because each kid is different and will react to the arrival of a new baby differently. In any case, I'm no help other than to let you know that you're not the only one struggling with this decision!
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#7 of 10 Old 03-20-2010, 11:31 PM
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My twins are four months are I'm already thinking about the next baby! lol I know everyone says I'm crazy. But, my babes are soo wonderful! I absolutely love being a mommy. In my reasoning, haveing two one year olds and a new baby would be easier than having two 2y/o's and a new baby! I think my husband will need a little more faith though! Here's to hoping!

Loving my twin boys! fencing.gif 11/03/2009 And my daughter 08/16/11 hearts.gif novaxnocirc.gif vbac.gifmomma  chicken3.gif Homesteader supermod.gif Doula

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#8 of 10 Old 03-21-2010, 03:28 PM
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Our boys were 2y 3m when their baby sister was born. They are great with her and I find that they now have more patience and have a better ability to wait because they know that now she comes first in terms of nursing, diapering, etc. and they are really helpful (sometimes too helpful - they are two after all ) We actually wanted to have them a little closer together, but God had other plans. I grew up with three sisters and there are 7 years from oldest to youngest, which we all love. Both DH and I wanted the kids to really grow up together, we got married in our early thirties and I don't want to be 40 and pregnant. DH wants six kids and I said one more and we're done - the only way he's getting 6 is if the next pregnancy is trips We actually wanted another set of twins - 2 boys, 2 girls and we're done! Didn't happen.

I say that the gap depends on you and your family dynamics. I am very happy we had them closer together even though sometimes it can be hard. Good luck making a descision.

: wife to James, MoM to R
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#9 of 10 Old 04-26-2010, 12:44 AM
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Mine were almost exactly 3 years older than their sister. I think its the best. The 5 year gap between kid3 and kid 4 is too much for me.

homebirthing,,homeschooling intactalactivist mom to 3dd jumpers.gifand 2dsbouncy.gif.babyf.gifAlways busy
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#10 of 10 Old 04-27-2010, 07:41 PM
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My girls will be 4.5 yrs when their brother is born, and right now I think that is perfect for us. I will admit, though, that adding another baby after the twins started crossing my mind within months of their birth. But now the girls are old enough to be very excited about the new arrival, will be able to help care for him, and are independent enough that I will be able to devote more of my time to being the mommy of a singleton too (what a change that will be!) I will say, though, that this will be our last baby. If we had the luxury of being able to have more kids, we probably would have spaced them closer together.

Mommy to girls twins.gif 9/2005, our angel babies stillheart.gif 2004 and stillheart.gif 2005, and our intact, ebf superhero.gif4/29/2010.

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