twin bedtime help - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 05-10-2010, 10:20 PM - Thread Starter
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This is an issue people face with singletons, I know, but it's complicated by the fact that my twins are doing things differently from each other. And my older boy never slept in a crib at all, so I never went through this transition with him.

My guys are 24 months old, and one of them, Jake, refuses to stay in his crib. He just climbs out. Toby is perfectly content to stay in his crib, and in fact it often seems like he would love to just lay down and go to sleep, except his brother gets him worked up so he doesn't.

For a long time the routine had been to put them in their cribs, put Toby's blanket on him, and then sit in their room until they fell asleep. Usually there was a bit of chatter, maybe some requests for water, etc., but it didn't take too long.

Now I just can't get them to sleep! For some reason they've been better with naps (which I posted about before; if they are *really* tired, I can usually get them to lay down and nap in their cribs, these days, though the car nap thing is still a big problem).

I thought about converting Jake's crib to a toddler bed (I'll leave Toby in his crib as long as he's happy there), putting a gate on the door, and just letting him run around until he decides to sleep. That would work for Jake, but Toby still wants me to sit with him until he goes to sleep. More than that, Jake bugs Toby: he throws things in his crib, pulls his hair and ears, does funny things to make Toby laugh, etc. So neither of them end up sleeping.

(They won't sleep in my bed these days, even though they coslept until 12 months and still sometimes come to my bed in the early mornings. They won't fall asleep with me laying there. So that's not an option, unfortunately.)
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#2 of 6 Old 05-11-2010, 11:43 AM
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Can you put Toby to sleep somewhere else while letting Jake run around until he sleeps? Or put Toby to bed and wait until he is asleep before putting Jake to bed, if Toby would sleep through Jake's wind-down?

Does Jake need a later bedtime? It was about this age that I had to either shorten naps in order to keep a decent bedtime for my kids.

Good luck.

mother of Patrick (7/31/03), and Michael, William, and Jocelyn (4/27/07)
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#3 of 6 Old 05-15-2010, 04:09 PM - Thread Starter
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Thanks for the suggestions.

Unfortunately I don't really have anywhere else to put one of them. Also, it seems like they want to be near each other when they are asleep--not too close, but in the same room. They seem to sleep poorly when apart. But putting Toby to bed first is a really good idea. Maybe I will do that and see if Toby is willing to lay down without Jake in the room.

I don't think he needs a later bedtime. They tend to be chronically tired, if anything. They don't take very long naps, and then bedtime varies a bit depending on the nap but is usually 7:30 or 8.

So far the past few nights, I've just stood there and put Jake back in his crib every time he climbed out. He whined about it, but eventually realized I wasn't going to let him out and laid down. The crazy thing is once he actually lays down, he is usually asleep immediately, while Toby is still laying there not sleeping yet. Some nights Jake rolls around and fusses in his crib (with me sitting next to him) until he finally gets his diaper off, grabs himself, and falls asleep *immediately* I guess boys will be boys...
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#4 of 6 Old 05-16-2010, 10:10 AM
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I had a little of the same problem. R was happy as a clam in his crib, but it took him longer to fall asleep and he disturbed D while he was settling. Because R transfered better, we put him in a pack'n'play in another room until they were both asleep and then transfered him into his bed. When I caught D for the third time jumping out of his crib from the top of the railing, we got them beds. It took some time and we used the rapid return method to get D to fall asleep in his bed while R still slept in the packn'play. When D was going to sleep in his bed without coming out, we then put R back into his bed and did the same thing. It took about two to three months but it was worth it in the end. I also stopped naps entirely 'cause I was tired of the hour long fight at bed time. You might find that putting one down first will allow the other one to settle faster. Good luck!

: wife to James, MoM to R babyboy.gif and D babyboy.gif  (Aug 2007) and E babygirl.gif (Nov 2009) and Y babyboy.gif (April 2012)

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#5 of 6 Old 05-16-2010, 05:13 PM
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ahhhh, sleeeeep. i'm obsessed. still co sleeping here which is great but would love to have them go to sleep reliably evenings without me having to be in bed with them!!!!!

just sending a and hope that stagering sleep time works out as an option. my worry is what will the other children be getting up to elsewhere??

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#6 of 6 Old 06-15-2010, 02:11 AM
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I have to say, its nice to see this post. I know it was posted a little bit ago, but tonight I almost lost my mind! L and E are going to be 2 on the 18th and they used to be sooo happy to just lay in their cribs until they fell asleep. E was usually out in minutes. All three of my kids were/are in the same room. But L started getting out of her crib, and now E is getting out of her crib and my 4 year old doesnt know what to do because he just wants to fall asleep!! I wish I could just co-sleep with them, but they wont go to sleep with me lying next to them either.

I swear, I thought I was going to lose it until I put on in my room and the other in the spare room in their pac and plays. I just dont know what to do!! I guess we have just had it too easy up til now and we got really used to it! I have to say, my days are so tiring keeping up with the kids that it just seems really hard to have to deal with yet another thing...that sounds awful, but jeez....
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