Death of a child or adult identical twin - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 05-12-2010, 08:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Although this is a grieving-related thread, I've put it here as it is specific to multiples.

One of our very dearest friends died suddenly of heart failure last week. He had just turned 40, and this just sounds unbelievable as he was an incredibly fit and active guy. It was an undetected problem. He was an utterly devoted husband and a father of 4 young children. It's just the worst.

We had met our friend's identical twin brother a couple of times in the past. At the funeral and in the family home over the past few days, the surviving twin has been "called into action". He's been hugging hundreds of residents of our community, and both he and those individuals are fully conscious that it is a soothing, healing interaction much more than it an upsetting or "creepy" one as it could be. Surreal, yes. But gentle in some way like we are weaning ourselves in the sudden absence of our friend. His brother looks like him a LOT, has a very similar voice, similar expressive language, similar movements, it goes on and on.

Has anyone else had a similar experience? (Or conversely, known of cases where the presence of the surviving identical twin is very painful for friends and family?) Outside of the overwhelming grief, I'm very interested in examining this further.

Six kids, sixth sense, six degrees of separation. . . from sanity!
Not sure that I'm crunchy, but definitely a "tough chew".
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#2 of 2 Old 05-13-2010, 03:07 AM
 
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No experience to share but wanted to send a hug and condolences on the loss of your friend.

I thought of this when the Polish president (an identical twin) died in the plane crash -- wondered what his brother was going through.

It's a whole area of grieving that is new, isn't it (for us anyway). I hope your friend's twin, and family, find comfort in each other.
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