Positive twin stories? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#31 of 41 Old 06-10-2010, 12:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
turnquia's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 504
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I understand twins are not all sugar coated... I"m just tired of hearing everything negative and mostly by those who don't have twins. I know many come here to vent but as someone execting twins its seriously freaky to almost never hear or read a positive story. About the only positive comments we get are "I'm so jealous I always wanted twins".

My DS who is 2 was a horrid baby. Seriously cried for about 12-18 hours a day (no joke) for a YEAR. Nothing we did helped this kid and he had several visits to the ER by the ped to run tests to make sure he didn't have something going on. If I end up with two like that I'm not sure we'll survive... we barely made it with him. There was numerous occasions the thought of giving him away sounded amazing. And had been seriusly contemplated.

So for now, for my pregnancy I want to hear positive. I don't need to hear negative, this is our last pregnacy and I want to enjoy the heck out of it. Not spend time fretting over how hard and shitty it will be. Because I already know what could be...

Mama to a zoo!
turnquia is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#32 of 41 Old 06-10-2010, 01:01 PM
 
Tigerchild's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Seattle Eastside
Posts: 4,737
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I understand, Turnquia. Which is why IRL and here, I generally only share my experience when someone asks for honest opinions.

However, because I have had people make similar thoughtless comments to my face, I really couldn't not respond to "anyone who says negative things is ignorant or jealous."
Tigerchild is offline  
#33 of 41 Old 06-10-2010, 04:36 PM
 
f&p'smama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 906
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I love having twins. It was hard and there continue to be unique-to-twins issues we encounter. But overall, it's really great! My girls are best friends and they play together all day long using their imaginations. They work stuff out when they have disagreements. THey genuinely love each other. At this point, there is nothing negative about having twins for us. They're happy, we're happy.

SAHM to F & P, : fraternal twins born 3/05, : I, born 12/07 & at 5 weeks in July 2009
f&p'smama is offline  
#34 of 41 Old 06-10-2010, 05:57 PM
 
3 little birds's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 994
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had a great twin pregnancy. The first two years were intense with the nonstop nursing and limited sleep. FTR-we had NO help. If possible, take people up on their offers of help-prepared meals are great. Or someone who would just love to sit and hold a baby for an hour or so. That was really the hardest part-knowing that I couldn't meet both of their needs at the same time, sometimes. The book Mothering Multiples was a great help and one of the only books at the time that actually had attachment parenting advice for parents of multiples.
After 2 years old my girls played and loved each other and are really a total and complete joy. They are best friends and really special people. Even now at almost 11 years old, they almost never argue with each other. They are monozygotic, but different in personality. And still somewhat similar-if that makes sense.
When they attended school (we unschool now) we kept them in the same class without any apologies. It was what they wanted and I felt that forcing them to be apart would add to the trauma of school. The teacher (who did not feel this was a good idea) eventually told me that she was surprised that the girls didn't choose each other for group activities and made their own friends. She admitted that it had worked out for them.
I feel very fortunate to be their mother and wouldn't change anything. I have met lots of other grown twins and they all say that they love being a twin. I am so happy that my daughters have each other.
Congratulations!

wave.gif
3 little birds is offline  
#35 of 41 Old 06-10-2010, 11:53 PM
 
Julia'sMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,427
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by turnquia View Post
My DS who is 2 was a horrid baby. Seriously cried for about 12-18 hours a day (no joke) for a YEAR. Nothing we did helped this kid and he had several visits to the ER by the ped to run tests to make sure he didn't have something going on. If I end up with two like that I'm not sure we'll survive... we barely made it with him. There was numerous occasions the thought of giving him away sounded amazing. And had been seriusly contemplated.
I just want to say that with this experience, it will make the twins even easier. DD1 was a handful for us. Friends still remember how much crying she did, with everyone, all the time. Even now, at 3, she is still a handful for me and was much more of a challenge than the babies once they were born. Dh and I say that the twins are more like 1.5 babies. It's easy to change a 2nd diaper, feed a 2nd child, etc. at the same time than having it spaced out. Still, together, the twins sleep better that DD1 did as a singleton. I am definately more rested now that ever with her. Still, it's fabulous to see their two little faces light up when DD1 enters the room and to hear them babble as she sings to them. :

J A with DD1 7/06, lost twins 9/08
DD2 12/09 & DS1 12/09
Julia'sMom is offline  
#36 of 41 Old 06-11-2010, 01:41 AM
 
Tigerchild's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Seattle Eastside
Posts: 4,737
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I agree, having an older sib can be a total lifesaver and a joy to watch as the babies visually latch on to them! Though I do admit that I was always a little disappointed when I was chopped liver as soon as Sissy came into the room. She wasn't all that interested in the babies (she was just barely out of babyhood herself at 17 months) so she just did her thing, but the boys would quiet and watch and gurgle at her. It was sooooo cute.
Tigerchild is offline  
#37 of 41 Old 06-11-2010, 10:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
turnquia's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 504
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigerchild View Post
I understand, Turnquia. Which is why IRL and here, I generally only share my experience when someone asks for honest opinions.

However, because I have had people make similar thoughtless comments to my face, I really couldn't not respond to "anyone who says negative things is ignorant or jealous."
Yeah I understand why you responded back. And I appreciate honest opinions too the good the bad and the ugly. LOL it just seems all I hear is the bad and the ugly so I needed to be able to hear some good Just one place for those days when I'm stressed out.

Mama to a zoo!
turnquia is offline  
#38 of 41 Old 06-11-2010, 11:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
turnquia's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 504
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Julia'sMom View Post
I just want to say that with this experience, it will make the twins even easier. DD1 was a handful for us. Friends still remember how much crying she did, with everyone, all the time. Even now, at 3, she is still a handful for me and was much more of a challenge than the babies once they were born. Dh and I say that the twins are more like 1.5 babies. It's easy to change a 2nd diaper, feed a 2nd child, etc. at the same time than having it spaced out. Still, together, the twins sleep better that DD1 did as a singleton. I am definately more rested now that ever with her. Still, it's fabulous to see their two little faces light up when DD1 enters the room and to hear them babble as she sings to them. :

This is what I am hopeing. Our son was aweful. Seriously took shifts just to prevent the other one from wanting to hurt him. We had NO help because no one wanted to be around this kid. I was working nights and DH days so neither of us ever slept. It was miserable. It wasn't until he turned a year he started to be more like a normal kiddo, and it wasn't until he was around 18 months I felt I could really say I LIKED him. (Obviously we love our kids, but we don't alway have to like them!) I feel bad because we really did't like this kiddo and did all we could to not want to give him away or something. LOL he's great now... but oye that much crying all the time no matter what really wears on you. I am terrified that will happen again just TWO fold.

However, its great to hear that it doesn't always work out the way we have pictured in our head

Mama to a zoo!
turnquia is offline  
#39 of 41 Old 06-12-2010, 12:24 AM
 
OGirlieMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 1,900
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Having twins has been the hardest thing I've ever done, and at times a complete trainwreck. But I wouldn't trade them for anything! They are incredible together, in a way I could never have imagined. It makes up for every difficulty.

Betsy, mama to beautiful, strong MZ twins Lillian and Kate, born 11 weeks early on January 10, 2006.
OGirlieMama is offline  
#40 of 41 Old 06-14-2010, 12:34 PM
 
Intertwined's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: In the midst of Twinsanity
Posts: 2,989
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by turnquia View Post
This is what I am hopeing. Our son was aweful. Seriously took shifts just to prevent the other one from wanting to hurt him. We had NO help because no one wanted to be around this kid. I was working nights and DH days so neither of us ever slept. It was miserable. It wasn't until he turned a year he started to be more like a normal kiddo, and it wasn't until he was around 18 months I felt I could really say I LIKED him. (Obviously we love our kids, but we don't alway have to like them!) I feel bad because we really did't like this kiddo and did all we could to not want to give him away or something. LOL he's great now... but oye that much crying all the time no matter what really wears on you. I am terrified that will happen again just TWO fold.

However, its great to hear that it doesn't always work out the way we have pictured in our head
While I slept less with my twins, they were WAY easier to deal with than my fourth baby. She had to be held constantly, cried constantly, nursed constantly. I mean, I don't know that I was able to take a shower or eat without her screaming for the first six months of her life. I did everything with one arm. She would ONLY nap if she was on my back (and was NOT a light child!). It was really, really hard.I prayed through my entire pregnancy with the babies that I wouldnt get two just like her. And while with the twins there is sheer numbers to be considered, they were WAAAAAAY more laid back personality wise. Rarely cried for anything other than "feed me, change me, rock me" type stuff. They would both hang in a swing for awhile. They napped well. It was challenging but totally doable.
Intertwined is offline  
#41 of 41 Old 06-14-2010, 12:51 PM
 
ChaoticMum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 834
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Intertwined View Post
While I slept less with my twins, they were WAY easier to deal with than my fourth baby. She had to be held constantly, cried constantly, nursed constantly. I mean, I don't know that I was able to take a shower or eat without her screaming for the first six months of her life. I did everything with one arm. She would ONLY nap if she was on my back (and was NOT a light child!). It was really, really hard.I prayed through my entire pregnancy with the babies that I wouldnt get two just like her. And while with the twins there is sheer numbers to be considered, they were WAAAAAAY more laid back personality wise. Rarely cried for anything other than "feed me, change me, rock me" type stuff. They would both hang in a swing for awhile. They napped well. It was challenging but totally doable.

oh my gosh, I could totally have written that post but the one who was my handful was my first. Oh....yes. Totally.

Tamika
Mum to 5 wonderful gifts!!
ChaoticMum is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off