I worry that Cash, being more outgoing, is going to be getting more attention. Although I try to spend equal amounts of time interacting with them, Cash is just so much more demanding that I'm afraid he ends up getting more attention and interaction. He also tends to not nap as well, so while Gus is sleeping, I'm often repeatedly soothing Cash back to sleep. Or, while we're out and about, Gus will happily sit in his stroller or car seat, while Cash needs to be held or worn. I really can't wear both together anymore because it kills my back!
Any advice? I'm afraid my mellow Gus is being somewhat shortchanged here!
Leah mom to Delilah 9/00, angel Stephen lost 5/25/09 at 40 weeks, and twins Gus and Cash 1/10
Expecting a miracle January 2012
"It is perfectly fair to treat different kids differently because different kids are *different*."
She would then go on about how it would be unfair to make both kids wear glasses because one needed them and equally unfair to allow neither to have them when one needed them. Easy going babes are easy going. Higher needs babes are higher needs. As long as both are getting all their needs and some of their wants met I think you are doing a great job. It would probably be bothersome to Gus to have you pat and fuss over him while he is trying to sleep! I'm sure you are doing just fine! Keep up the wonderful, loving, work you are doing.
Karen - spouse to dh for 11 years, mama to ds (Nov '02), dd (May '05) and ds and dd (Jun '08)
Treat them according to their personalities and give them what they need at the moment. Do what you already do - make sure you have that one on one time and go from there.
Mum to 5 wonderful gifts!!
My policy here is, no one gets a scenery change or something new until they request it (unless it's flop on the floor with the kids time). My singleton was held by me all. the. time. and was very dependant on me for everything but it was just me and him all day long and we could just sit and have our little love affair forever. Now there are three of them and I am outnumbered so the squeaky wheel get the grease. I nurse them, cosleep and spend a ton of cuddle time with each but sadly it's nothing like my oldest got but they are both way more independant than he ever was at their age. Twins can be a logistical nightmare sometimes huh? If they are both happy and loved what more can you ask for? Perhaps Gus is just more of an introvert. It sounds like you are doing exactly what they need, keep up the good work.
My two have sort of had changing needs. My dd has medical issues, so did have periods of time where she WAS the total focus of our household for a while, but mostly the two have had their "place". I try to just parent them the way they need to be parented, and try not to worry too much about who gets more attention. I *think* they get equal attention, my dd is the first one up every morning, so she gets morning snuggles with me before ds2 wakes. Ds2 is a night owl, so he gets me all to himself at bedtime, the other two kiddos fall asleep right away at night. There are other times in between where I can focus on one or the other. I make sure that I kiss them all, tell them all I love them, and try to meet their individual needs as best I can. Hopefully that's going to be all right in the end.
: wife to James, MoM to R and D (Aug 2007) and E (Nov 2009) and Y (April 2012)
And honestly, while her temper is much slower to show itself, she's a DEMON when she gets mad. She gets what she wants when she wants it most of the time because she rarely demands anything (picks her battles, so to speak). So, she may be more laid back and easygoing than her brother and that garners her less attention but she seems to be doing fine with that. It will shift and change as your boys get older and more verbal. I have a feeling Gus will let you know when he needs you truly and when he doesn't need you-he's fine.