Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Central NY
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Karen - spouse to dh for 11 years, mama to ds (Nov '02), dd (May '05) and ds and dd (Jun '08)
I guess its the logistics of everything that I'm concerned about. Things like going grocery shopping with all of them by myself, nursing two at once, cloth diapering two, driving DD1 to and from school, babywearing (is that even possible with two?)....it just seems so overwhelming!
ME&HE... loving our: dd(18) ~~ds(13) dd(13)~~ dd(10)
Be prepared to be submerged in dealing with the basics for a good long while. Survival basics. Food water sleep love. Keep plenty of water where you can reach it if you are trapped on the couch for a long time with one sleeping against you, one nursing, and then switch and you don't want to move and disturb anyone. I often had one baby in arms and one in an old fashioned simple bouncy seat that I bounced with my foot. Did this at the dinner table, while reading stories to big sis, etc.
We used two carts at grocery; I pushed one with infant seats-- one in bottom, one clipped on top and pulled another one with the groceries. I would often carry one but for sanity it was good to have a spot to lay each baby down at some point, or be able to switch smoothly, or help an older child. We later varied this as we did have three under three but I also tried to time shopping trips for when dh was home even if it was really late at night. After midnight may be less exhausting than four-in-tow. I have found it hard to think my shopping decisions through while handling multiple children--it can be done but I avoided it when they were littler. A supportive adult companion can help, but it can still be hard to even think while paying attention to the kids.
Nursing was fine and we nursed past two years, night nursing was tricky, nursing in public was tricky. But I just did it. I was actually able to find some laying down positions in which both could nurse at the same time at night. They weren't extremely comfy but we managed. Yes I have tandem nursed in public too and no it was not discreet at all.
Diapering was not a big deal. There were just a lot of diapers.
We didn't go out much. Baby wearing worked best with dad involved. Two parents carrying two babies. Although early on I had two in a sling quite a few times--they were smushed together a lot when they were tiny. Double slinging was a lot like double nursing with both to same side if you can picture that. This was for newborn-size though. Some people might not be able to work out the smush-comfort balance. I have also done a combo of front and back carrier, but we had a double jogger stroller as well which got a lot of use in different combinations with different kids in out and carried at different times. It is physically too hard for me to carry two for long--I only have so much body and I think that baby-wearing is mostly a one-on-one thing. Doing a lot of it is one thing, doing it for both all the time is another.
Whatever amount your dh can be involved he should and probably will just because you'll need it. He can make all the difference. It's not how many hours he's home but whether he is making the most of the time he has to support you, cook, help with laundry, and be hands-on with the babes. Dad's full involvement was one of the big perks of twins IMO. Dad HAD to be helping sooooo much whenever he was home. It was sweet and great for him as a parent in the long run because he couldn't leave a lot to me as he might have easily done otherwise It was also wonderful for our relationship to have traveled that challenging path together while supporting each other.
: wife to James, MoM to R and D (Aug 2007) and E (Nov 2009) and Y (April 2012)
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