Excuse for me asking a very personal question, but - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 17 Old 07-05-2010, 12:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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when you were pregnant with twins, when did you stop having sex if at all? Because I thought I was going to die last night. We weren't doing anything at all adventurous (spooning) and afterward those round ligament muscles hurt soooooo badly I honestly thought I had done something horrible and hurt the babies. Anyway, keeping it within the UA (nothing too explicit or that brings a vivid picture to mind, please) I'm curious if you all reached a point where it was impossible or if you found ways to make it work.

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#2 of 17 Old 07-05-2010, 06:26 PM
 
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Ah yes. Twin pregnancy sex. My only suggestion is to try position you haven't tried before and some that were never comfortable before. flat out? Things are different now. Toward the end, WHEN I was in the mood, it was always some crazy position where I was on my right side, right leg straight, left leg bent... and now you know more than you needed to!

but seriously, it wasn't that frequent and orgasm made me contract like crazy!

Joanna - wife to Mike, mamachicken to Cub(8/98), Kitten (4/07), Dew-man, and Woe-boy(twins, 10/08)
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#3 of 17 Old 07-05-2010, 07:36 PM
 
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In the last three months, I think we did it maybe... three times? Maybe? Once a month? And I hated every time... I only did it to please my husband. It hurt, I was uncomfortable, it wasn't fun, and it didn't feel good.

That was my experience... yours may differ.

Rachel & Eli , with DS1 (7/99) and DS2 (11/01) twins DD1 & DS3 (01/10)
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#4 of 17 Old 07-05-2010, 08:23 PM
 
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We stopped at 24 weeks after a really frightening episode of contractions following one attempt, that actually landed me in the ER for monitoring. So we stopped anything that involved penetration, or me getting to orgasm.

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#5 of 17 Old 07-05-2010, 09:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You all are not making me very happy.

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#6 of 17 Old 07-05-2010, 09:15 PM
 
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We kept on until the end (which was 40w3d), iirc. The only position that worked was spooning with pillows between my knees, under my hips and probably other places I'm not remembering.

I will say that I had the strongest libido of my marriage during my twin pregnancy. Seriously, it was nuts. I was carrying 2 boys, and the only thing I can come up with was that all that testosterone on board gave me the sex drive of a dude!

Does that make you a little happier, AM?

Trying to get my bearings...
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#7 of 17 Old 07-05-2010, 09:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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A little.

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#8 of 17 Old 07-06-2010, 03:01 AM
 
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We haven't technically stopped yet (I'm 27 weeks) but if we do it once a week that's a lot. My back and hips are just so sore by the end of the day that I'm not usually in the mood. I've found that the easiest position for me physically is to have DH behind me.

But to be honest, I really don't see a whole lot of "action" in our future for the next several months.

Stacy
Wife to K, Mama to Avery and TWINS due in September!
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#9 of 17 Old 07-06-2010, 03:36 AM
 
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I'm sorry, AM. The truth hurts, eh?

I'm guessing you also don't want to hear that my twins are almost 6 months old, and we have done it... oh.... 4 more times SINCE they were born? Due to pain during sex, and basic reality of caring for twins?

But that doesn't mean you can't cuddle, and hug, and massage, and all that other non-sex but sensual stuff.

I wonder if I'm making this better or worse for you? LOL

Rachel & Eli , with DS1 (7/99) and DS2 (11/01) twins DD1 & DS3 (01/10)
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#10 of 17 Old 07-06-2010, 04:48 AM
 
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So, I'll be the odd man out and tell you we did it like crazy. I agree with having the sex drive of a dude!! We do it alot anyway but pregnancy always make it so much more intense and amazing. Even during my 39th wk with our 1st set we did it probably 4 times a week. He's a firefighter/paramedic and even now at almost 24 wks in this twin pregnancy we do it everytime he's home and off shift. We've just found ways to make it work. From behind is a favorite since it puts no pressure on anything...both of us standing on the edge of the bed or me on all 4's in the bed. Way TMI...sorry!! But trying to help you out. You can also do it with back propped up on pillows so you're not flat on your back and him on his knees on the bed. Kind of like a man on top position without him actually being "on top" but just remaining upright instead. Spooning never really has worked well for us. You can also try laying on the edge of the bed propped up on pillows with him standing. That works well. I know towards the end of my 1st twin pregnancy and even as early as now with this one that I couldn't handle being flat on my back so I just lay propped up. And it does cause lots of BH contractions but I just figure it's REALLY worth it!! LOL!

I also take some stuff my midwife gave me called staphysagria for round ligament pain since mine have been so bad. It helps tremendously. When it's really bad I just stick 2-3 under my tongue and let it dissolve but I also let it dissolve in water and sip it all through the night since mine tend to be worse in the middle of the night and keep me from being able to move or get up at all to pee.

And to give hope....we were back at it when our boys were only about 4-5 wks old. I had them naturally so healing took a little time but other than that the demands of two did not really interfere with our desire. We just found a way to do it when we had the most energy. Alot of the time it turned into late morning or early afternoon when our other children were napping or occupied watching a movie and I'd had time to sleep a little after a long night nursing babies. You just kind of find a groove and go with it. But I know by 8 wks we were back to pretty much 3 times a week if not almost every time he was off shift.

So, let your heart take courage! LOL!

Blessed wife of a firefighter/paramedic and mom to 10...including 2 sets of very surprise twins!....with a sweet tiny boy welcomed into heaven at 14 wks gestation in 9/09
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#11 of 17 Old 07-06-2010, 12:17 PM
 
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Another one urging you to try, um, unusual positions (standing, kneeling, crazy leg positions)... and also to let you know after a scary round of contractions after orgasm around 5 months or so, I purposefully avoided orgasms the rest of the pregnancy (can you believe that!) because I hated that feeling SOOOO much.

As for after they were born... it was not that often, but I can say I never felt more in love with my DP... the love I had for him (and he for me) was SO intense, even if the focus was not on the physical as much as it had been in the past. Like many things with twins... things are different, but still good!
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#12 of 17 Old 07-06-2010, 06:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You all are fabulous. Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone.

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#13 of 17 Old 07-07-2010, 12:10 AM
 
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We both still really, really want to (more than ever) but our last attempt ended with me in tears. Definitely freaked out dh and me too. Afterwards I realized that I was just so uncomfortable because my bladder was full (but seriously, when do I NOT have to pee these days? Kinda spoils the mood to take a pee break every few min...)
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#14 of 17 Old 07-07-2010, 09:16 AM
 
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We were also one of the ones that did it right to the end. I didn't carry so big, so it wasn't so bad. That doesn't mean that it didn't get uncomfortable. We did a little on-line research and found some alternate positions, some of which have already been mentioned. I also had two boys and at one point my DH just had enough of my overdriven libido . We were also back into the swing of things six weeks after they were born (after dr's ok), so there is hope.

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#15 of 17 Old 07-08-2010, 11:35 AM
 
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I had zero sex drive while pregnant. First I was throwing up and exhausted every night, then I had some random issues (a skin tag down there that put me out of commission for a bit) and was put on pelvic rest around 24 weeks. I give you credit for even being interested.

Betsy, mama to beautiful, strong MZ twins Lillian and Kate, born 11 weeks early on January 10, 2006.
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#16 of 17 Old 07-09-2010, 02:26 AM
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We tried a few times after 24 weeks, and I would end up laughing so hard we would have to stop!

Best to you.
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#17 of 17 Old 07-09-2010, 02:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AGF View Post
We tried a few times after 24 weeks, and I would end up laughing so hard we would have to stop!

Best to you.


Yeah, it's not like I'm gagging for it, but every once in a while I think it would be nice. But then by the time we get started I just kind of want a nap.

Flowers, fairies, gardens, and rainbows-- Seasons of Joy: 10 weeks of crafts, handwork, painting, coloring, circle time, fairy tales, and more!
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