Going to twin b-day party, should I do individual or joint gifts? - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: How should I wrap/label the twins' gifts?
Wrap separately and write each boy's name on one gift 29 96.67%
Wrap separately and write both boys' names on both tags 1 3.33%
Wrap together and write both boys' names on the tag 0 0%
Other 0 0%
Voters: 30. You may not vote on this poll

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#1 of 9 Old 07-08-2010, 03:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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We're going to a birthday party for twin boys who are turning 6 this weekend. I typically buy board games as birthday gifts for this age, which works out well in this case since the boys can enjoy them together. We're going to get two games for them because we figure they each deserve a present, but I'm wondering how I should wrap/label the gifts. See poll for the options.

What would you/your kids most appreciate? Thanks!

ETA: Maybe a poll will garner more response, so I'm adding one. You don't have to reply to the thread, but please vote if you have a second, thanks!

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#2 of 9 Old 07-08-2010, 03:11 AM
 
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I would do it separately. Each child has their own identity, they and their parents will appreciate it. I know I will b/c I have twins.

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#3 of 9 Old 07-08-2010, 03:17 AM
 
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I am not a twin mama, but we went to a twin birthday party recently. We gave them each a puzzle and a book, but wrapped them separately so they each had something to unwrap. My mom was a twin and she remembers not liking always being referred to and treated as one unit, "the twins", and would have been really pleased to get her own thing. She did love being a twin, but would have liked everyone to recognize their separate identities.
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#4 of 9 Old 07-08-2010, 10:04 AM
 
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Originally Posted by VroomieMama View Post
I would do it separately. Each child has their own identity, they and their parents will appreciate it. I know I will b/c I have twins.

mom to sam arlo (5), olive loretta (3)....and twin girls Annie and Ramona Jean, born 3/10.

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#5 of 9 Old 07-08-2010, 11:37 AM
 
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I always wrap separately with one child's name on each package, unless it's a big joint gift (and it has to be BIG for me to give a joint gift to twins). That's how most of my girls' presents arrive, too.

Betsy, mama to beautiful, strong MZ twins Lillian and Kate, born 11 weeks early on January 10, 2006.
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#6 of 9 Old 07-08-2010, 12:25 PM
 
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Originally Posted by VroomieMama View Post
I would do it separately. Each child has their own identity, they and their parents will appreciate it. I know I will b/c I have twins.
This exactly! If you wouldn't give a joint gift for siblings who weren't of the same age why would you for twins? Sorry if I sound sort of snippy, but I can tell you it has hurt my twins' feelings in the past when people have given them one gift for the two of them. The only exception that ever applies here is for larger joint gifts, like the computer their grandfather gave the boys for X-Mas or the swingset we have been planning on getting them.

Just my $.02

Mom to twin boys (7/15/05), another boy 5/9/10, and our latest addition born 9/13/11!

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#7 of 9 Old 07-08-2010, 12:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Lolagirl View Post
This exactly! If you wouldn't give a joint gift for siblings who weren't of the same age why would you for twins? Sorry if I sound sort of snippy, but I can tell you it has hurt my twins' feelings in the past when people have given them one gift for the two of them. The only exception that ever applies here is for larger joint gifts, like the computer their grandfather gave the boys for X-Mas or the swingset we have been planning on getting them.

Just my $.02
Actually I would give a joint gift to non-twin siblings. My friend's boys' birthdays are 2 days apart (well, 2 years and 2 days), and I've given them board games addressed to both of them before because I didn't want them to have to deal with the whole "This game is mine and that one is yours" thing -- they were both for both of them. I just figured that twins might be more sensitive to that type of thing since they deal with it all the time, so I thought I'd ask for input from mamas who know.

And to be clear, my question didn't have anything to do with giving "one gift for the two of them." I made it clear that I plan on getting two gifts, and just wondered how to label them.

To turn your first question around, most parents wouldn't have a joint party for non-twin siblings either (my friend whose boys are 2 days apart doesn't now that they're old enough to notice), yet people frequently do for twins, so there are some things that are just different with twins -- they aren't always treated as completely separate entities with separate everything, even by their parents.

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#8 of 9 Old 07-09-2010, 03:46 PM
 
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Originally Posted by limabean View Post
Actually I would give a joint gift to non-twin siblings. My friend's boys' birthdays are 2 days apart (well, 2 years and 2 days), and I've given them board games addressed to both of them before because I didn't want them to have to deal with the whole "This game is mine and that one is yours" thing -- they were both for both of them. I just figured that twins might be more sensitive to that type of thing since they deal with it all the time, so I thought I'd ask for input from mamas who know.
I do think it might depend on how well you know the kids. And how obvious the need to share a toy is. For instance, I have given my nieces board games jointly, but I never give art supplies jointly, even though they are likely to share art supplies. But, my default would be individually labeled individual gifts, so that is how I answered the poll.

Kate
mother of Patrick (7/31/03), and Michael, William, and Jocelyn (4/27/07)
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#9 of 9 Old 07-09-2010, 04:17 PM
 
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Depending on the boys but if you are unsure, I would give them separately with one name on each. Also as a note, my twins don't expect presents from the others friends (they don't have the same friends). Yes, we do one party but we really treat it as two parties happening at the same time.
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