First, PRAYER! Holy One, enter my body, mind, and heart and TAKE ME OVER! I have been quite on the brink the last few days...mostly because of my own impatience. Today, it literally manifested in the bathroom...sh*t, sh*t, sh*t. I find it dripping out of my son’s pants onto his shoes. He’s two years old and his sh*t has outgrown his diapers. Then, when I manage to peel his clothes off him without getting sh*t all over me, I swirl the diaper in the toilet, flush, and find the toilet is clogged. Now the sh*t swims in the toilet without going down, and my husband has to reach into it to pull out the toilet paper I've been using to wipe up the floor. I finally laughed sooooo hard. God has a sense of humor.
Anyway, thanks for reading my little outburst. I am so frustrated with my 2 year old tonight! Not for any particular reason...just the fact that he's two and can't get to sleep until I find that ONE TOY, the "choo choo train up down." That stinkin' toy was the reason he stayed up an hour past his bedtime...and the twins were fussy for hours this evening. I thought that had gone away.
Mostly, what I'm stressing about is money. I have a real estate practice and I work from home. I am the sole breadwinner of the family, although my husband has a parttime job at a veggie restaurant. Normally he just works Sundays but we are out of money and I have not an escrow in sight. I have been marketing my business like crazy and am doing all the things I know will result in business for me, but alas, nothing is happening yet. (The twins are only 10 weeks old so I haven't worked in awhile.) So, my husband is taking lots of extra shifts which means I'm home with all the kids alone much more than I'm used to. We're also spending so much less on food and I feel like I'm practically starving (even though I know that'd be an insult to an Ethiopian, for instance...
Then, there's our place. Gyawd. Six of us in this little condo with our bed in the living room. How I wish my twins had a quiet room to sleep in. I'm so sick of them waking up because of the noise around them. I really want to move and we are on such a tight budget and our rent is already quite under the market. I wish I didn't have to think about money. I'm feeling kind of overwhelmed with all my responsibilities. We had a great nest egg but with me not working for awhile and having the twins and so on, we pretty much...spent it. Sigh. Can I use my age as an excuse? hee (Come on, most 25 year olds are partying right around now...)
Alrighty...time to list some blessings. Sheesh. We have so much going for us and I've just been wallowing in the b.s. these past few days. Here we go:
1. I finally have a kid with rolls!!!! My beautiful baby boy has rolls up and down his arms and legs! He has multiple chins!! I have to wipe out his neck on a daily basis! It is completely adorable!
2. I am able to work from home and be with my kiddos and hubby more than the average parent.
3. My hubby brings home the most delectable vegan cobblers and organic beers from the restaurant.
4. I finally have the guts to take my two year old and the twins out at the same time. (Only a LLL meeting thus far, but hey, it's a start!)
5. Every single time we get to this point, it means that life's about to break out with something vastly surprising and awesome and different! We were talking about that today and looking forward to it.
6. Our birth rocked! (hee) Just thinking about it today.
7. I just read a great, great book called "Jesus CEO"
8. My oldest lost his third tooth yesterday, the first we were actually able to find! Which MEANS....the TOOTH FAIRY CAME LAST NIGHT!! I practically cried, I was so excited for him. I used to love the tooth fairy.
9. I'm up to number nine so far! We're blessed!
10. I'm still awake at 11 p.m.
Hmm. My hubby just got home and asked me if I was depressed. Guess I'm not pulling this off too well.
Should go to bed.
Thanks for the good thoughts!