What are your need/concerns right now? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 20 Old 03-17-2004, 07:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I was just wondering what other MULTIPLE mamas' need/concerns/desires are right now?

--Mainly I need prayer. We have lots of decisions to make in the next few days. I'll keep you posted.

But what about each of you?
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#2 of 20 Old 03-17-2004, 09:29 AM
 
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Prayer here too - my mom goes home in less than a week. My dh is swamped with work too - so I'm going to be transistioning to having my bunch on my own with very little help from dh for a while. Which is a little overwhelming. Still working on breastfeeding here too. They are doing better, but I'm still having to pump and bottlefeed part of the time.

single mama to 5 (12.5, 11, 10, and 8 year old twins)

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#3 of 20 Old 03-17-2004, 05:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Do you need a 'distraction' care package for the older children while you are alone with all the kids? If so, what types of things, videos, activities, do you need/prefer?
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#4 of 20 Old 03-17-2004, 10:00 PM
 
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That's very sweet of you to offer. I can't think of anything we need - they have lots of toys and videos already (they do watch videos - just not violent ones). I'm mostly just venting a bit - Maddy can open doors now - which is scarey.

My mom went shopping yesterday and while she was out my 4 year old comes running up to me screaming "mommy come quick, Maddy took one of your babies". The babies were on our bed - with 1 door shut and the other gated. Maddy - 2 - had opened the shut door, picked up Megan, carried her into the kids room and put her on the bed in there and was then jumping ON the bed with Megan on the bed! So you can see why I'm scared! This in the time it took me to put a load of laundry in the washer.

single mama to 5 (12.5, 11, 10, and 8 year old twins)

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#5 of 20 Old 03-17-2004, 10:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was in your position, mama. Hence, my asking if you need anything or would like some care packages strategically times for when dh is away for long periods of time.

When my twins were born my sone was 18 months old. he really liked the boy twin and would watch him as an umpire watches a pitch. It was so funny.

What WASN't funny was when I'd turn around and find I. sitting on the S. chest trying to make him laugh.

If you change your mind, please let us know. A strategically timed package may help with the older two.

LOVE, Peace & Prayers,
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#6 of 20 Old 03-18-2004, 10:29 AM
 
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When my twins were born my sone was 18 months old. he really liked the boy twin and would watch him as an umpire watches a pitch. It was so funny.

What WASN't funny was when I'd turn around and find Isaiah sitting on the Sorens chest trying to make him laugh.


Sorry, but when I read this, I burst out laughing because my Maddy does the same thing with her brothers. She is desperate to be a little mom and when they're laying on the couch, she HAS to lay right beside them/on them etc.

As for what I could use right now.... hmmm... a couple of things:

The twins to SLEEP more than a few hours at a time at night. Or at least feed and sleep and not feed, sleep 20 minutes and feed again, and repeat the pattern several more times before mommy gets really frustrated!


I could also use some prayers/good vibes for my poor baby William. He's got all the classic symptoms of constipation, except he poops like a trooper and it's not hard, but the proper consistancy for his age (sorry, TMI! ). He just screams and writhes in pain and I can't fix it, can't help him, comfort him, soothe him. Nada. Makes me so sad.
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#7 of 20 Old 03-18-2004, 09:51 PM
 
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my twins are 4 so my needs are different now LOL but I sure can put myself right back in your shoes Cheryl....

I'm Andrea - I have three boys - 12 year old twins & an 11 year old

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#8 of 20 Old 03-19-2004, 02:58 AM
 
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My needs are prayer now too...Or suggestions about what may really be going on??

First, 4 weeks ago I started with the stomach bug...which then ds got...which a few days later dd got. the next week less than two days after the vomitting stopped...dd and ds started with 103 fevers for 4 days...dd still threw up during this infection...diahrea too for both. the next week ds woke up one morning and could not walk....then started two days later vomitting all over again...then dd started two days after he finished getting sick...they both had lowgrade fevers for a few days and the dd threw up again....All the while this past week DS has still had issues with his leg....he then spiked 103.5 fever on Tuesday and then went to St.Lukes for testing...xrays and blood with cultures.
so far all tests are great showing no abnormalities....my poor kids are still running fevers around 100-101.8......they still do not know why he is having issues with his leg! they think it may be a pocket of fluid around his hip due to all the viral infections....

I feel so very bad for my twins....I am so out of control in this situation and I feel horrible that I cannot make him or her better fully! Motrin and tylenol are keeping them comfy but I WANT THEM BETTER!!!!

Sorry this is so long!
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#9 of 20 Old 03-19-2004, 02:48 PM
 
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Hello. I don't normally post much but I feel in need of positive thoughts. I had a m/c last fall at 13 weeks with my first pregnancy. This past Monday we had an ultrasound and found out we're expecting twins. We're still in a state of shock.

Today I had an appointment with my ob and found out it looks like one of the babies has a subchorionic hematoma. This has increased my anxiety level just that much more. I'm 10 weeks today and am trying to calmly get to 14 weeks.

I enjoy reading all of your adventures with twins and can only imagine what changes our life is going to take this fall!

Gretchen

dust.gif & superhero.gif :: 9/2004
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#10 of 20 Old 03-19-2004, 08:45 PM
 
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Gretchen,

I am pulling for you! I hope everything goes well for you and the babies....

Having twins is wonderful I am sure you will enjoy it!
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#11 of 20 Old 03-21-2004, 12:32 AM
 
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I need some easy bedtime vibes.

But Gretchen, I wanted to tell you that I had a moderate to large SCH in my pg and bled, sometimes extremely heavily, until 20 weeks. MY kids are fine and made it to induction for PIH at 37w+. I too had a history of miscarriage (2). Hang in there. Most people are fine with SCH. I did take it very easy, with modified bedrest whenever I was bleeding and restricted activity after that. But they're happy and healthy and fine, and survived to become bedtime-fighting 2-year-olds with a vengance! It's scary but most people are a-ok despite SCH.

Fleurette, have you tried eliminating dairy for William? I know how hard it must be to do, but that seems like a likely possibility.

Hugs to all, prayers to those who asked for 'em.

Cate
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#12 of 20 Old 03-26-2004, 12:14 AM
 
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i need help communicating in a nonviolent and effective way with my 3 year old twins...and i also need to sleep more than 3 hours at a time and wake up later than 5:30am for the day (although i know this one will come in time).

those are my needs at the moment.

xoxo's to all the twin mamas.
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#13 of 20 Old 03-26-2004, 04:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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punky.
Gretchen, mamacate and the other twin mamas. I've printed this out and will be praying for you.

Things are full for us right now so I'll check in when I can but know I am praying for y'all.

Peace,
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#14 of 20 Old 03-26-2004, 06:50 AM
 
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Praying for all of you.
Punky~I am right there with ya! My gorls are 3.5 and are so violent with each other right now! i used to take such pride in the fact that they were always so sweet to eachother,and then BOOM! Overnight they started to hit eachother! It is so hard to figure out what to do. Id suggest trying to go to the Gentle Dicipline Forum.
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#15 of 20 Old 04-11-2004, 03:00 AM
 
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Let's see...

First, PRAYER! Holy One, enter my body, mind, and heart and TAKE ME OVER! I have been quite on the brink the last few days...mostly because of my own impatience. Today, it literally manifested in the bathroom...sh*t, sh*t, sh*t. I find it dripping out of my son’s pants onto his shoes. He’s two years old and his sh*t has outgrown his diapers. Then, when I manage to peel his clothes off him without getting sh*t all over me, I swirl the diaper in the toilet, flush, and find the toilet is clogged. Now the sh*t swims in the toilet without going down, and my husband has to reach into it to pull out the toilet paper I've been using to wipe up the floor. I finally laughed sooooo hard. God has a sense of humor.

Anyway, thanks for reading my little outburst. I am so frustrated with my 2 year old tonight! Not for any particular reason...just the fact that he's two and can't get to sleep until I find that ONE TOY, the "choo choo train up down." That stinkin' toy was the reason he stayed up an hour past his bedtime...and the twins were fussy for hours this evening. I thought that had gone away.

Mostly, what I'm stressing about is money. I have a real estate practice and I work from home. I am the sole breadwinner of the family, although my husband has a parttime job at a veggie restaurant. Normally he just works Sundays but we are out of money and I have not an escrow in sight. I have been marketing my business like crazy and am doing all the things I know will result in business for me, but alas, nothing is happening yet. (The twins are only 10 weeks old so I haven't worked in awhile.) So, my husband is taking lots of extra shifts which means I'm home with all the kids alone much more than I'm used to. We're also spending so much less on food and I feel like I'm practically starving (even though I know that'd be an insult to an Ethiopian, for instance...: )

Then, there's our place. Gyawd. Six of us in this little condo with our bed in the living room. How I wish my twins had a quiet room to sleep in. I'm so sick of them waking up because of the noise around them. I really want to move and we are on such a tight budget and our rent is already quite under the market. I wish I didn't have to think about money. I'm feeling kind of overwhelmed with all my responsibilities. We had a great nest egg but with me not working for awhile and having the twins and so on, we pretty much...spent it. Sigh. Can I use my age as an excuse? hee (Come on, most 25 year olds are partying right around now...)

Alrighty...time to list some blessings. Sheesh. We have so much going for us and I've just been wallowing in the b.s. these past few days. Here we go:

1. I finally have a kid with rolls!!!! My beautiful baby boy has rolls up and down his arms and legs! He has multiple chins!! I have to wipe out his neck on a daily basis! It is completely adorable!

2. I am able to work from home and be with my kiddos and hubby more than the average parent.

3. My hubby brings home the most delectable vegan cobblers and organic beers from the restaurant.

4. I finally have the guts to take my two year old and the twins out at the same time. (Only a LLL meeting thus far, but hey, it's a start!)

5. Every single time we get to this point, it means that life's about to break out with something vastly surprising and awesome and different! We were talking about that today and looking forward to it.

6. Our birth rocked! (hee) Just thinking about it today.

7. I just read a great, great book called "Jesus CEO"

8. My oldest lost his third tooth yesterday, the first we were actually able to find! Which MEANS....the TOOTH FAIRY CAME LAST NIGHT!! I practically cried, I was so excited for him. I used to love the tooth fairy.

9. I'm up to number nine so far! We're blessed!

10. I'm still awake at 11 p.m.

Hmm. My hubby just got home and asked me if I was depressed. Guess I'm not pulling this off too well. :

Should go to bed.

Thanks for the good thoughts!
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#16 of 20 Old 04-11-2004, 03:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Prayers and Hugs mindyleigh!

And I LOVED the SH*T story. My 2 yo has had that happen. Right down his leg and into his cowboy boots.

Also, he has to have his 'papa choo-choo train' to go to bed also. Wow, sleepovers with the two of them would be fun.

I feel ya' on the space thing. We finally have a three bedroom apt but it is no luxury place. Right now, at 11:35 pm, I am listening to our upstairs neighbors converstation in their living room while they are having their weekly party. And don;t get me going on our new neighbors who are "dealin'" and so flippin' obviously that I expect the cops to show up....

Last year we lived in a one bedroom with an office practically. The twins slept with us (which would have happened anyway) while the older two were creatively crammed in the 'office'. Getting around our room was hysterical You had to turn sideways to get to the closet.

YOu forgot cars? Can I rant? : Um, our 1987 wagon with over 300,000 miles on it? I love it. I really do. But its trans went out last week and we had to fix it b/c well, I can't physically get four small children on the bus safely, and guess what? It still isn't running well. I fear I am going to end up on the side of the road with my kids and no one to help.

There is so much more going on but I know you know how intense life can be all at once and I am not sure this is the place for me to say some of the crap I'm dealing with....

But yeah, God is Good.

And our births have been amazing.

And we have food to eat: beans and rice can go a long way.

And I have a few friends who love me dearly.

And today, my daughter made up and sang songs about how much she loves me.

And I am alive.

And YOU made me laugh so much.

I'll be praying for you mama.
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#17 of 20 Old 04-11-2004, 07:27 PM
 
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mindyleigh, hotmamacita, hi
i am feeling you
life is hard, but isn't it great??
we are broke, replaced my transmission a couple weeks ago
never sleep
place is a freakin wreck

i think about mymom a lot
she did this alone w/ 3 kids
(and she was a lot younger than me at the time)
i am so blessed to have a dh
who really helps
and understands that i need to be home now

i would like to count my blessings too

i had a great birth (births, all of them were great)
my kids are all healthy
we have plenty of food and make our rent every month
iris is sleeping 5 hours at a stretch at night now
it is spring!!!!!!!
i am losing weight - dieting successfully, no cravings
and so my favorite spring jacket fits me now
and my boobs aren't falling out of my bra so much
the kids are napping RIGHT NOW
sophia is running around w/o diapers a lot
and using the potty, yay!! (she's 29 mos. old)
did i mention it's spring? and summer is next, yay!!
i love summer
the sun is out
it will not snow anymore
the kids can play outside
my husband is awesome
my kids are awesome
and i'm not doing half bad
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#18 of 20 Old 04-11-2004, 09:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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yeah, elyssa.

LOVED what you wrote. (esp. the part about your breasts not falling out of your bra so much...I totally know about that one.) Your post made me thankful for more things today. I need other mamas to remind me of life sometimes.

And, I understand about being on your own with the kids. The past five months I have a new appreciation for single moms. It is so friggin' hard.

I want to be able to run an errand under 2 hours with all four.

I want to have some nice kind stranger come and help me with the twins while they are going in opposite directions, with the 2 yo screaming and the 5 yo wanting my FULL attention right then and there. I want people to stop staring at me while I struggle with my kids and their safety and come and sincerely help me. Or at least, don;t stand there and STARE at me. (okay, that was a rant, eh?) :

Yesterday, it took me three hours from when I left my front door to when I returned to my front door to go to the grocery store for rice milk and veggies.

Today, DD is sad that we can't have an Easter Egg hunt. I just can't do it without help. Unless I find a park that is completely fenced in and appropriate for 15mos-5yo.

I have been so completely humbled by multiples.
I wouldn't change it for the world, though.

Thanks for listening to me, mamas. Now I need to get back to them. My time is up.

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#19 of 20 Old 04-12-2004, 01:06 AM
 
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Wow.

I just heard that a close friend of mine just welcomed his third daughter into the world this morning...Easter morning, early a.m. They birthed at home and her name...aah, her name is beautiful. I don't feel comfortable posting it as they haven't even told me yet, I heard it from our friend. But for a moment...a long moment, while lying next to my two year old and looking into his big smile while waiting for him to fall asleep, I swear that all was completely perfect in the world. It was absolutely holy and still. I can't describe it adequately...it was like at the end of a movie when they recap the perfect endings to everyone's lives. Very miraculous.

Thanks for sharing all your blessings with me. I feel so okay today and this evening has been so smooth and easy, even without my hubby here. I miss him and also don't know how single mommies do it, or even married mommies with husbands who are gone a lot. But I am thankful that we've had a quiet evening and all are sleeping right now.
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#20 of 20 Old 04-12-2004, 02:27 AM
 
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MindyLeigh,
I am so with you on the quiet evening and everything going smoothly. I LOVE those nights. So few, so precious. I conjur them up in my mind when things are awful.
Julianne
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