Identical twins closer than fraternal twins? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 08-05-2010, 01:57 PM - Thread Starter
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Just curious to hear from others who have twins to see if you think identical twins are closer emotionally than fraternal twins? I was talking to a friend yesterday who is a fraternal twin, and has fraternal twins and she felt very strongly that identical twins are much more bonded emotionally.

I have three older boys who are close in age, and they were never as emotionally in sync, and bonded as my identical twins. My twins are so in tune with each other and empathetic about how the other is feeling, it's really sweet.

I would love to hear what your experiences have been!
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#2 of 5 Old 08-05-2010, 02:16 PM
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My boys are really close, in tune with each other and are empathetic to each other. My DH is a twin, and he said that our boys are just as close as he was to his twin sister. I don't think it is an identical/non identical issue. I think it is a personality thing and how parents foster the relationship (true for us anyway, please don't flame me). That's my two cents, anyway.

: wife to James, MoM to R babyboy.gif and D babyboy.gif  (Aug 2007) and E babygirl.gif (Nov 2009) and Y babyboy.gif (April 2012)

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#3 of 5 Old 08-05-2010, 02:52 PM
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Yeah, I agree with Shuli. I think it has a lot to do with personality and parenting. When I meet adult twins I often ask them if they're close with their twin. From the ones who aren't, I've heard more than a few times that they felt resentful that their parents compared them to each other, often negatively, such as, "Your sister always does X and you don't!" kind of thing.

My fraternal girls are *very* close and bonded. Obviously, I don't know how it is with identical twins, so maybe they're closer than my girls. They're only 5, though, and we haven't done preschool so they've had more limited opportunities to form relationships separately with other kids. We'll see what happens when they start kindy this fall.

SAHM to F & P, : fraternal twins born 3/05, : I, born 12/07 & at 5 weeks in July 2009
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#4 of 5 Old 08-05-2010, 07:24 PM
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My friend who has DZ girls noted that my MZ boys are very "twin-y." Getting them to do things apart is like breaking bones. For that very reason, I'll force one to go with me on errands while the other stays home with dad, or something.

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#5 of 5 Old 08-06-2010, 01:40 AM
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DH is and identical twin and our girls are fraternal. Though dh and his twin get along okay now, according to him and his mother, as children they were not so close. Our girls, though only 5 so who knows what's to come, are incredibly close -- definitely best friends and in tune with one another. DH's opinion is that looking at his brother was like looking in a mirror and seeing all the things he didn't like about himself and since they had the same strengths and weaknesses and interests, if they were around each other too much it there was too much competition. Our dds are incredibly different in just about every way -- looks, personality, apparent interests -- but compliment each other well, which I could see might lead to a better relationship than sharing the same strengths and weaknesses would.
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