When does it start getting really hard with twins? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 22 Old 08-16-2010, 01:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Here I am with 1 month old twin girls, and it's thankfully pretty manageable. The nursing is going fine, it is possible to n2ak (only n1ak right now though). Yes it can be tough to need to sit up in bed and nurse when both wake up at the same time, but with some of my singletons they were such tough latchers I needed to do that anyhow. Yes, sometimes they cry at the same time, but so I just nurse them both and they're both happy. Etc.

I want to be mentally prepared - when does it start getting harder? What are the issues I'll be facing? I'd like to start finding solutions beforehand.

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#2 of 22 Old 08-16-2010, 01:23 AM
 
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For me the first three months were difficult, I was exhausted, had PPD, nursing troubles, etc. After those things were straightened out it was smooth sailing! Once they became mobile I baby-proofed my house big time, that helped. They were able to play safely and I could use the restroom or get a drink of water without worrying that they'd get hurt. I find that the closer they got to 4 we had more tantrums and a few rough months when they were arguing quite a bit and doing the usual toddler things.

SAHM to twin kindergarteners

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#3 of 22 Old 08-16-2010, 06:49 AM
 
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My twins are only ~7 mo., so take this with a grain of salt, I guess. In my opinion, the first 6 weeks were the hardest by far. IMO, nothing can quite compare with the unique challenge of newborn twins - I shudder to recall the sleep deprivation!!! Of course, they're not mobile yet, so maybe I'll be changing my tune soon, but...Be proud that you are managing this all so well!
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#4 of 22 Old 08-16-2010, 08:47 AM
 
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While I'm still finding sleep a challenge at 5 months, the daytime routine is much easier now. The first 3 months were quite hard, especially right around the 3 month mark (cumulative sleep deprivation, growth spurts, etc).
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#5 of 22 Old 08-16-2010, 08:49 AM
 
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For me, the first three weeks were ther hardest by far. Things got easier again after 3 months.

Toddlers are their own unique challenge.

If you're feeling fairly settled, congrats!

Twin boys (2/05) and little sister (10/07)
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#6 of 22 Old 08-16-2010, 10:55 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Red Pajama View Post
For me, the first three weeks were ther hardest by far. Things got easier again after 3 months.

Toddlers are their own unique challenge.

If you're feeling fairly settled, congrats!
I'll second this. The first few months are pretty physically exhausting. I am in the middle of toddlerhood right now and I have many days where I would gladly go back in time to just enjoy holding and nursing. Toddlers can be mentally exhausting .

Karen - spouse to dh for 11 years, mama to ds (Nov '02), dd (May '05) and ds and dd (Jun '08)

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#7 of 22 Old 08-16-2010, 11:42 AM
 
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Congrats! This is a silly thing to say, but I find twin parents fall into 2 camps - either it's hard at the beginning or hard as toddlers.

Sound like things are going really well for you, congrats! And enjoy it!

I was very like you. Sometime near the end of the first year my mom asked why everyone told us things would be so hard. Uh, well mom, we couldn't count on the easy-ish birth, recovery, not a moment of PPD, full term babes, no nursing issues, no health issues, consistent full nights of sleep at 3 months. We got all that. Yes, there are some hard moments, but all in all twin babyhood went well.

But easy babyhood leaves you scratching your head (or banging it on the wall) when both girls are cranky and sick from some park, and you have to keep them home from preschool because of pink eye. And the 30 lb kids demanding that you carry them both through every step at the zoo, and screaming because you put their shirt on wrong. Screaming every moment of the day.

Really, toddlers can be fun. But they do get sick . . . and I haven't even seen what 3 years old will bring.

Glad to hear things are good, hope you remember and enjoy every minute. Things will change. And change. And change.

Mom to : Belle and Izzy
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#8 of 22 Old 08-16-2010, 10:12 PM
 
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For me it was between about six weeks and six months. Before that time, mine mostly just slept, nursed, and pooped, and that was pretty manageable. But around six weeks, they kind of "woke up," and it got suddenly harder. It was soothing them when they were fussy that was the main issue, since suddenly DD2 wanted to be walked around a lot, and would only nurse side-lying, whereas DS wanted to nap lying face-down on my chest, and wanted his nursing in a cradle position. Plus, the sleep deteriorated, and they started waking more often, and DD2 started refusing to tandem nurse. If her brother was nursing, she would pull off and scream at me-- how she knew, I still can't say, but she did. Plus, they started not being able to sleep through each other's crying, and that was hard since one would start up, and then they both would.

Anyway, once they started being able to sit up supported, and could reach for toys and amuse themselves awhile, it got easier again, and it's gotten steadily easier since then (they're 3 1/2 now). Also, once they could sit up and focus a little better, I discovered that my other DD (who was 3 at the time) was apparently the best entertainment they'd ever seen. She was my best baby-soother.

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#9 of 22 Old 08-16-2010, 10:17 PM
 
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I loved the first year but that second year was beyond challenging when I had two fearless little ones running in two different directions.

Let them sleep in the middle, Let them be little
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#10 of 22 Old 08-17-2010, 11:46 AM
 
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For me it was between about six weeks and six months. Before that time, mine mostly just slept, nursed, and pooped, and that was pretty manageable. But around six weeks, they kind of "woke up," and it got suddenly harder. It was soothing them when they were fussy that was the main issue, since suddenly DD2 wanted to be walked around a lot, and would only nurse side-lying, whereas DS wanted to nap lying face-down on my chest, and wanted his nursing in a cradle position. Plus, the sleep deteriorated, and they started waking more often, and DD2 started refusing to tandem nurse. If her brother was nursing, she would pull off and scream at me-- how she knew, I still can't say, but she did. Plus, they started not being able to sleep through each other's crying, and that was hard since one would start up, and then they both would.

Anyway, once they started being able to sit up supported, and could reach for toys and amuse themselves awhile, it got easier again, and it's gotten steadily easier since then (they're 3 1/2 now). Also, once they could sit up and focus a little better, I discovered that my other DD (who was 3 at the time) was apparently the best entertainment they'd ever seen. She was my best baby-soother.
Uh, wow. That sounds like a really really hard few months!!! I am officially thanking my lucky stars . I was having a rough morning but now I'm feeling relieved that mine will tandem nurse, don't wake each other up, and nap fairly well. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, though ... expecting it to become completely unmanageable at any moment.

Amy
mama to big brother Mason (Jan '05) and the littles, Adam and Holden (May '10)
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#11 of 22 Old 08-17-2010, 02:49 PM
 
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i like the two camps theory

i single parented without much problem until 5 months and then reconciled. at 11 months i decided twins was almost the hardest thing i've ever done and at 22 months i'm not out of that phase, though the CUTE CUTE CUTE things they do kinda balance it

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#12 of 22 Old 08-17-2010, 09:32 PM
 
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All of you moms that said the first month(s) were the hardest (and all the books too - since they all said that) had me thinking that this was going to be manageable. My babies were born a month early, but came home immediately, nursed like champions every 2-3 hours, and slept most of the time. For about 6 weeks I thought we had this licked. Ha!!

Mine also "woke up" and everything changed. They are 9 weeks now. They won't fall asleep unless they're being cradled, which is fine at night but when my husband is at work it means they just don't nap. Like, at all. They just cry. all. day. from like 10am on from exhaustion, since I can't soothe them both at the same time. If I get one to sleep they wake up when the other crys. They don't like bouncy seats, swings, etc. They sleep much better on their stomachs which I am loathe to let them do, but I'm starting to give in.

So it's mostly me on the couch with 2 babies draped on me all day, rotating whoever is most upset. When I can take them out it exhausts them and it's much easier, but this summer has been soooo hot, and most days it's too humid for a walk. I can't wait for the fall!!!!!

If it got harder already, when does it get better?

DH and I are expecting twins July 15. Holy crap wish us luck.
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#13 of 22 Old 08-17-2010, 11:34 PM
 
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I can't even remember the first 6 months I was so sleep deprived!!

Different stages have difficult times.

At about age 1 when they both started walking and always in opposite directions.

At age 2, when they started climbing and pulling everything down.

And now at age 3, when they want to cry and be held all. the. time. (or like right this moment, throwing things at each other.... )

Missionary, birth-worker, midwifery student
Mama to love.gif DD (9yr), DS luxlove.gif (3yr), & 2twins.gif UC twin DDs (5yr)

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#14 of 22 Old 08-17-2010, 11:49 PM
 
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I think a lot for me is circumstances. 6-12 months was almost unbearable for me. DH had started back to school full time as well as working. The boys were sleeping the same, but now were too heavy to sleep on top of me like we had been which meant I was sleep 1-2 hours per night in 15 minute stretches- for 6 months! DD was potty learning and going through the terrible twos. I was working full time. I was just completely overwelmed.

Oh, and our nanny had just gotten pregnant , had swine flu, complications from pregnancy, and didn't show up often enough. Argh!!!

Joanna - wife to Mike, mamachicken to Cub(8/98), Kitten (4/07), Dew-man, and Woe-boy(twins, 10/08)
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#15 of 22 Old 08-18-2010, 08:04 PM
 
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Infancy was brutal but mostly because of the premature birth, home oxygen, and having to exclusively pump. Toddlerhood was actually fun and relatively easy, I found.

Preschoolerhood looks like it's about to kill me any day now.

Betsy, mama to beautiful, strong MZ twins Lillian and Kate, born 11 weeks early on January 10, 2006.
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#16 of 22 Old 08-18-2010, 08:38 PM
 
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Preschoolerhood looks like it's about to kill me any day now.
I don't live well with preschoolers, either. Three and four are the hardest ages for me to cope with. I don't know whether it's the incessant chatter, or what. I just know that kids that age test my patience in a way even toddlers never do.

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#17 of 22 Old 08-20-2010, 05:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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LOL I think I jinxed myself. It gets harder... now.

These two have started to want/need to eat ALL. DAY. Thankfully not all night, but still! They are either nursing, catnapping on me, or screaming. At about 9 pm they calm down, and are peaceful or asleep. I'm guessing it's a growth spurt, which I hear can last a full week! My mother is concerned that I have supply issues, but they are producing a decent amount of "output" as far as I can tell.

Looking forward to the easy times rolling back around!

Loads of blessings, and learning on the job.
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#18 of 22 Old 08-20-2010, 08:00 PM
 
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#19 of 22 Old 09-02-2010, 12:19 AM
 
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#20 of 22 Old 09-03-2010, 04:23 PM
 
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Mine are just about to be 7 mo. It was hard in the first few weeks, then easier, it got harder again around 4 mo (when they didn't just have needs, they had *wants*), and then easier again. Mine are beginning to crawl so I see craziness in my future. Not from them necessarily, but all the choking hazards that my older two create on a minute-by-minute basis.

Twinproofing is on the agenda this weekend!

Oh, and I can't even imagine 2 1/2-3 1/2. Having had older children this stage was by far the TOUGHEST. The struggle for power and independence, the tantrums, etc. I'm not looking forward to all that with two kids at the same time. I have one going through it right now and sheesh...

Valerie, wife to Kevin, mother to Elena (4), Jonathan (2), and twins, Andrew and Benjamin (2/2010)
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#21 of 22 Old 09-03-2010, 05:02 PM
 
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My kids are only 3.5 months now (15 wks), so it's still early for me yet. But it's been insanely hard the first oh say 13.5 weeks?! They were major marathon nursers. Not so much a growth "spurt" as just growing constantly!

Now, in just the last week or two, they've really "woken up" and are alert all the time. Now they eat more efficiently in general, sleep for little bit longer stretches (like, two hours in a row rather than one!), but stay awake between most feedings. So I have to entertain them all day! This is hard, but not as hard as the constant marathon nursing. That left me extremely drained.

Hope everythings still going well for you all!

Mama to twin boys born at 30 weeks. 5/21/10. 
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#22 of 22 Old 09-03-2010, 05:59 PM
 
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The first 3 months were by far the hardest, but really each age/stage has it's own challenges (my guys are 7 yo now).

Mama to twins, my little guy, and
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