3rd child after twins? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 09-11-2010, 09:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Has anyone had a third child after their set of twins? How old were your twins? Was it as hard or harder having one baby and taking care of your toddler twins or did you find it "easier" ? My girls will be two in November and I never thought I'd ever be considering a third! How things can change!
Thanks!
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#2 of 12 Old 09-11-2010, 10:14 PM
 
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My guys were 3 weeks shy of being 3yo when DS#3 was born. Having *only* one baby is a piece of cake, compared to having two at the same time

Mama to twins, my little guy, and
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#3 of 12 Old 09-12-2010, 02:31 AM
 
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I did it the opposite way around, but I can tell you that one of the biggest challenges when my twins were smaller was keeping my singleton toddler entertained while I took care of them. It seem like if you have twins first, the second time is going to be much, much easier just because you won't be 1st time parents and trying to figure every little thing out, and also because the twins will be able to play together with out requiring as much attention as a singleton would. That's just my guess.
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#4 of 12 Old 09-12-2010, 02:53 AM
 
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My son was born 2 months before my girls 3rd birthday. Caring for one baby was alot easier than for two, but there were some special challenges-like the twins ability to get into more stuff because they worked together and I was busy with baby. The benefit was that they played together well and kept each other company.

The biggest challenge has been the effect on my son's self esteem associated with having twin sisters. He did not have the ability to understand for a long time that no one will be as close to the girls as they are to each other. During his second and third years he did a lot of acting out because he felt that they excluded him. The acting out did lead to them actively excluding him because he would yell and hit. It sort of turned into a cycle. I wouldn't say that he has fully recovered his self esteem (he is 8 now and they are 11) but he is close with his younger brother (5) and he is very sweet to his littlest brother (2). He seems to have accepted that the twins aren't trying to hurt his feelings and that being twins is different. It was hard to watch and not know how to help him. Perhaps if I had been prepared better for his hurt feelings, they could have been avoided or more readily handled properly.

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#5 of 12 Old 09-12-2010, 02:52 PM
 
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Our twins were 27 months old when our little pricess was born. (she actually had a vanishing twin) I can already see what 3 little birds was talking about. They like her nice enough (they are now three and she is 10 months) but they really don't play with her that I think singletons would. I found the first three months after her birth really difficult. Don't know if it was PPD or just the overwhelmingness of it, but every time I sat down to nurse the boys got into trouble. I tried walking around while nursing but that didn't work and she landed up back in hospital with jaundice for three days because I wasn't feeding her enough. As time goes on I find it much easier, especially when the boys are in school and it's just her and me. I say if you are having those feelings, go with it

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#6 of 12 Old 09-12-2010, 07:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all for the responses! You definitely brought up some issues that I never thought of, it is great to hear from people who have actually been through it. It is sad to think the singleton might be left out, but I guess that happens sometimes anyway when you have older siblings playing together and leaving out the younger one - just maybe not to the extent that 3 little birds had happen with her children. I am glad to hear it is better now. I guess I have a lot to think about, it is such a big decision!
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#7 of 12 Old 09-13-2010, 10:15 AM
 
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My twins were three months shy of three when my daughter was born.
Overall, I think it was a good spacing, but in hindsight I think I expected more of my boys than what was fair when their sister was born. She is now older than they were when she was born, and I simply couldn't imagine another baby.

They were almost potty trained when she was born, so I had little time with three in diapers. We purchased a really nice twin stroller with big bicycle-type tires, and with the baby in the sling, I was able to get out more and take walks.

In terms of baby care, I really enjoyed having only one, although at first I felt that there was somebody missing. Baby care, with just one to nurse, or get to sleep, or change, was just so much easier.

Now, they are close enough in age that they play together.
Negatives of having them as close as we did are that the boys weaned earlier than I would have liked (just after two years).

Twin boys (2/05) and little sister (10/07)
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#8 of 12 Old 09-13-2010, 10:29 PM
 
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My boys were 18 months when the next one came, which was also a boy. They have loved every minute of it. At first there wasn't much interest given their age but as time has passed the 3 of them have become inseparable. The next one that came was only barely 14 months younger and is also a boy. The 4 of them are absolutely inseparable now and do everything together. It's fun to watch the bond that exists not just between our twin boys but between the 4 of them. They do everything together. We really just kind of fell into a groove and not much changed. I think the hardest part early on was occupying our 18 mo twins while I nursed the new baby. Getting out with them wasn't too bad since I used a double stroller for the twins and just wore baby in a wrap, then graduated up to the Ergo.

Blessed wife of a firefighter/paramedic and mom to 10...including 2 sets of very surprise twins!....with a sweet tiny boy welcomed into heaven at 14 wks gestation in 9/09
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#9 of 12 Old 09-14-2010, 09:55 PM
 
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My twin boys were 21 months old when their little sister came along. Honestly? She had colic and was a very high needs baby. I have told DH that if we do this again (have another, which we are not!), I'd take twin boys over a singleton with colic any day.

They are definitely a trio. They play independently, and the boys have similar interests vs. interests their sister has. But they all play together quite well and miss one another when they are apart for 1-2+ days.

And the first year with our twins was of course nuts in a sense, but I almost can't remember just having two now.
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#10 of 12 Old 09-14-2010, 10:29 PM
 
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My dd was born about 3 weeks after my boys turned 4. It was really great spacing for us. She was way easier than twins & the hard part was actually that I was working nights at the time. They are 11 & 15 now & are all amazingly close.
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#11 of 12 Old 09-16-2010, 12:58 PM
 
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My singleton was born when my girls were about 3 months shy of 3. I've loved having a singleton. It was/is so much easier to care for one baby and now toddler than the twins were. The girls were *such* difficult 2-year olds, but as they got closer to 3, they got easier. A twin mama I know said she thought twins got easier when they could engage more fully in pretend play and that was certainly true for us. Of course there was the aspect of working together to get in to trouble while I was busy with the baby. Like the mural they drew in permanent pen on a giant wall in their bedroom.

The girls do play more with each other than they do with their brother, but they also play with him. Phoebe has invented a game she plays just with him and overall, they are very kind to him. When they don't play with him, he is pretty content to play by himself. He loves his trucks and his train table and is happy to play with that while the girls play whatever they're playing.

It's been a great experience for all of us, I'd say. I'd like another, but I don't know if that will happen . . .

SAHM to F & P, : fraternal twins born 3/05, : I, born 12/07 & at 5 weeks in July 2009
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#12 of 12 Old 09-21-2010, 04:35 PM
 
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Thanks for posting this thread, it's very timely for me. My b/g twins turned 3 in June and I am expecting their baby brother in November. I am still struggling to figure out just how this little guy is going to fit into our family, but I know he will find his place and we will all benefit from adding another member. It's good to read about families who made smooth transitions and potential issues to be aware of. I wonder if the b/g aspect will make my twins more accepting of a younger sibling, maybe the boys will have their own special bond.

Nikki, mama to DD and DS1 twins.gif (6/07) and DS2 babyboy.gif (10/10) 
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