Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Southern AZ
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This is my first post, and as a lurker, I've always appreciated the info/perspective I've received from you fellow multiple mamas. Thank you!
My ODD will be 5 in February, and my twin DDs will be 2 in January (can't believe it). I expected the transition of having twin baby sisters to be difficult for her, but I am worried, b/c ODD continues to have a really hard time (btw: I don't have any other children - "just" the 3). Now that the twins are becoming especially playful with each other, she feels very excluded. Last week, she had a very heartfelt sob to me saying that she just wished she had her own twin or she wished that she just had one sister so that they could be "friends" with each other.
Every day I struggle with her saying comments like, "I hate having two baby sisters" or "I wish we could just throw one away" in a very angry/sassy tone. Or, for example, this weekend I took her on a trip (just she and I) to visit my side of the family (she was thrilled w/ the airplane ride). Upon our return, her mood changed instantly into anger and saying similar comments like, "Why do I have two baby sisters?!" I've really been trying to help her to word her frustration by helping her say things like, "Having 2 baby sisters is hard, but it'll get easier." (Trying to validate her, but have her speak in a positive tone.)
ODD is a self-confident, social, and fairly even-keeled girl overall. She goes to preschool 3 mornings a week, and we try to do many one-on-one things with her as well as with the whole family.
I'm just worried that she'll hate them the rest of her life. I know she loves them--they make her laugh and she enjoys playing with them semi-frequently. I've just had a hard time finding someone I can talk to who gets the dynamic of an older singleton w/ younger twins--all the same gender.
Also, anyone have experience having a 4th child after a singleton and twins? Does having a 4th child help the other singleton not feel so "left out"? (Not saying this would be the sole motivation to have another child...)
Thank you for any advice/input/perspective!
Full Time Student & Mommy to 3 princesses! 9/03, 2/07 & 2/07