How To Decide On When My Mom Should Fly Out For The Birth? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 11-18-2010, 11:01 AM - Thread Starter
 
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my mom is flying out for across the country for the birth and a while after to help out, I'm soooo looking forward to this!! So now we just need to figure out when to have her come?????
I'm guessing we can't jut pick a date but should go off of something in the pregnancy that tells us they are on their way, but I also do not for a second want to risk her missing the births. How would you decide on this?

I'm currently 30w3days and besides good solid BH I have no signs of anything happening soon, my cervix is high and closed and no more than 50%effaced, the BH don't seem to be doing anything but toning my uterus. This is my first birth so no history to go on, and it being twins seems to put so many larger variables in everything.

We are still not sure how long she is going to stay, being away from her home is kinda hard on her mentally, but she is committed to helping us out and we are all really looking forward and counting on her for birth itself. im hoping for about a month.

I have miles, so cost is not as much of an issue and if need be I would pay almost anything for the ticket. We are planning on maybe a one way ticket, so we can be flexible.

It won't be a stress to have her here before, we just all feel it is a waste of her time.

There is of course the risk of hectic holiday timed travel to consider, yuck. Though possible flying her her actually on x-mas might be great as that day is actually a slow day in my experience.

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#2 of 10 Old 11-19-2010, 03:42 PM
 
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Is she planning to stay days or weeks? Not knowing your time frame makes it impossible to give advice here.

 

As with any birth, there's no way to predict when your babies will be born, though it's pretty likely that it'll be by 38 weeks.


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#3 of 10 Old 11-19-2010, 04:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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sorryi guess i did not make that clear, although we dont know exactly, I'm aiming for around a month of her being here.


partners.gif 2twins.gif  So what if I don't fit cleanly into a defined parenting style, my kids don't fit into a personality archetype either!

 
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#4 of 10 Old 11-20-2010, 01:28 PM
 
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I had the same delimna with my mom.  She could only come for 3 weeks, so I wanted it the most effective days.  Well, she came at the 37th week and waited around for 2 weeks until I ended up having a scheduled C-section at 39 weeks, 1 day.  They scheduled it, because I never went into labor.  Then she was only able to help me for 1 week.  That was really a bummer that she could only help for such a short period of time, but I'm thankful that my girls were healthy and didn't have to go into NICU or anything.  If there is anyone else nearby you that might be able to help, in case your twins come early, I'd say to make the tickets later rather than earlier, because you need as much help as you can get after the birth.  Though I really don't know what I would have done without my mom there.  So, I guess I made the tickets kind of early, because of that.  My mom then got to see NJ and help me with cleaning my house beforehand, which I wasn't able to do for months, since I was so big.  I also didn't reserve the tickets until about 35 weeks, so I had a better idea if they would come very early or not.  Don't know if that's helpful or not.  But that was my experience.

 

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#5 of 10 Old 11-22-2010, 01:35 PM
 
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HOw long is the flight? Does she work/need a lot of notice? If you are ok with her missing the birth, look into how much last minute miles tickets cost. Sometimes you have to pay a 200 dollar fee or something, but it's great not to have to purchase an expensive ticket in a rush. That way, she can maximize the amount of time with the babies! 

 

I'm in your ddc, so I just had to forum crash! I am so excited for you!!!


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#6 of 10 Old 11-22-2010, 02:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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she does not need a lot of notice at all, but it is the holidays so we may find days in a row where there is no tickets to be had. 

 

and no i'm not ok with her missing the birth in any way what so ever, if i was this would be a lot easier

 

 

thanks for the crashing, and the excitement, always a wonderful thing!


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#7 of 10 Old 11-22-2010, 02:43 PM
 
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fair enough! My only other suggestion is to have her come on X date, and make lots of plans for the babies to interrupt!

 

Having my mom there for me postpartum was amazing (as much as I didn't want her at the birth!). I'm so glad that you will have that support as well.


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#8 of 10 Old 11-27-2010, 08:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hitting 32 weeks and still have not figured this out, wish the holidays were not in the way since I know they will make travel plans hardest to get or be flexible with.

Still have no idea what to do.....

partners.gif 2twins.gif  So what if I don't fit cleanly into a defined parenting style, my kids don't fit into a personality archetype either!

 
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#9 of 10 Old 11-30-2010, 10:37 AM
 
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I have nothing much to add, but I can sympathize!  I don't expect to go early, because I have a history of going past, sometimes way past 40 weeks.  But there are just so many unknowns with twins.  And with no history to go on, it'd be even harder!  That's a tough one.  I'd probably err on the later side, just because it will be more helpful to have her as long as possible after the birth.  


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#10 of 10 Old 11-30-2010, 10:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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yeah we had a long chat last night and think we are making her a flight plan for just a day or so prior to my 37 week mark. mostly becasue that is NYE and probably a easier day to travel than the few days after that when everyone is scrambling  home from vacation for school and the like.

 

 still keeping open the option of moving it, but boy the holidays sure make this harder


partners.gif 2twins.gif  So what if I don't fit cleanly into a defined parenting style, my kids don't fit into a personality archetype either!

 
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