What you would have done if you knew you were having multiples beforehand: - Mothering Forums
Parenting Multiples > What you would have done if you knew you were having multiples beforehand:
jewellz's Avatar jewellz 11:39 PM 12-16-2010
What if you knew you were going to have twin/triplets/quads beforehand, how would you have prepared for them before you had gotten pregnant?

SashaBreeze's Avatar SashaBreeze 12:01 PM 12-18-2010

Our twins were from a surprise pregnancy.   We had actually been planning on waiting another 3-5 years before getting pregnant again.  So we had just moved to a new rental about a month before we found out we were pregnant with the boys.  If I had known I would have definitely got a bigger place. 


I also found out that the practice I usually go with during my pregnancies is really pro early induction and presses c-sections with twins, I didn't know that before hand so I if I had known I would have spent some time "shopping" for a practice with better views towards twin/multiple births.

Spring Lily's Avatar Spring Lily 12:02 PM 12-18-2010

There's only so much you can do.  Save money.  Get your body strong and healthy.  Make sure you have local support, like friends and family.  Make sure your house has enough space.  Arrange your job so that if you WOH you can be off for a long period of time during pregancy if needed.   Basically, everything that you'd do before getting pregnant with a singleton, except factor in more money and space and don't assume you can work through your whole pregnancy.


Are you asking because you think you are going to have multiples?

Ellie'sMom's Avatar Ellie'sMom 12:11 PM 12-18-2010

Honestly, I would have panicked! 


I may have insisted on a minivan. We have made due with our station wagon (and our kids are 8, 5 and 5 now), but if I could have justified a new car it would have been nice. 


I can't really think of anything else. There isn't really that much to be done. We  weren't going to change career trajectories or anything. Now. we relocated to a new state during my twin pregnancy, so when we chose a place to live we already knew we were having twins. I was also able to choose a midwife and OB who were experienced with twins, but shared my birth philosophy. 


SashaBreeze's Avatar SashaBreeze 12:36 PM 12-18-2010

I just thought of something else.orngbiggrin.gif


If you dont have a very good support system in place for your older children (I noticed you have several older kids like I do) then you should think about saving up about 6 months or so of income.  Sure you or your spouse can go on family medical leave but that means although you will have a job to go back to you will have no income coming in for a while.  Although being pregnant with twins/multiples is no guarantee that you will be put on bedrest or have babies in the NICU it does increase your chances an awful lot.  Between my several month bed rest and our boys stay in the NICU we ended up going about 4 months without a paycheck and had to go through some pretty rough times financially.  The way I look at it if you save up and something happens then fine you at least dont have to worry about money, and if you dont end up needing it then awesome joy.gifuse the money for something great that you wouldn't have had the money for otherwise.


I have to say I am curious though... why do you ask?

Spring Lily's Avatar Spring Lily 12:57 PM 12-18-2010


Originally Posted by SashaBreeze View Post

I have to say I am curious though... why do you ask?


I know, I am so curious about why this came up.




I can't seem to move this next quote up or write below it, but....



Good point, Ellie'sMom.  We bought our minivan after I knew I was pregnant with twins, but had we bought a different car before that we would have been really upset!


Originally Posted by Ellie'sMom View Post

I may have insisted on a minivan. We have made due with our station wagon (and our kids are 8, 5 and 5 now), but if I could have justified a new car it would have been nice.

Llyra's Avatar Llyra 10:51 PM 12-18-2010
I wouldn't have gotten pregnant then-- I would have waited a year or maybe two.

Seriously. I love my babies. I would never wish them not here, not ever not in the whole world. But having twins, when we had them, was so hard for us. We were living at the time in a one-bedroom apartment, with a two year old, and barely getting by on the money we had, paying the rent we were paying. We were so not ready for the reality of having three kids under three, and it's caused a multitude of problems-- we've gone into consumer debt, where we'd been debt-free before. We're paying more than we can afford, to live in a house that's barely big enough for us. My marriage has gone through some extremely rocky periods, because of the added stress. And the multiple pregnancy was extremely hard on my body. I would have liked to have a year to prepare-- to get some part-time work, and save some money, and make some financial plans. It would have been easier if DD1 had been older. And I would have paid more attention to building more solid patterns of communication with DH, to avoid the challenges we've had.
jewellz's Avatar jewellz 12:17 PM 12-19-2010
I am not pregnant yet, I don't think-in the 2 ww. I have always wanted twins and have been curious. I read alot and lurk here a bit in the beginning of my pregnancies because I have pretty good chances of having multiples.  Here's the list of all my chances:
Exclusively Breastfeeding
7m postpartem
30 years old next month
Great grandmother was a twin
Sister had twins, one died inutero early
Eat alot of red meat-although its natural
Bmi over 30 though I am short
Had a dream where an angel? told me I was going to have triplets- 2 boys, 1 girl and had another dream in which I was going to have a c-section. I know most dreams are just dreams but these two were different. Just a feeling, yk?
Next pregnancy will be my 7th

I know that it probably means I won't but I am one that hates surprises and must know everything that's going on. I prepare for everything. Make lists and all that. I have read alot, researched and tried to prepare a little-like keeping some extra clothes. So thank you for answering my questions. It helps.
DoomaYula's Avatar DoomaYula 01:29 PM 12-19-2010

Shot myself.


I probably would have gotten more bf'ing info and support. I would have started going to LLL while I was pregnant and read more about bfing mults, and talked to more people about it.

mauri456's Avatar mauri456 01:49 PM 12-20-2010

ive i had known it was going to be twins.... well... i wouldnt have gotten pg.  i love more babies more than anything and im soooo grateful for them... BUT twins are HARD..... you are so divided in ways that only a MOM  can understand....  my girls are only 2 months so im in the midst of insanity

OGirlieMama's Avatar OGirlieMama 07:34 PM 12-20-2010

Probably wouldn't have bought a small house with 13 steps from the driveway up to the front door, another full staircase inside, and laundry in the basement. 


And shot myself, a la the inimitable (except I'd be imitating, since she had her twins first) DoomaYula.

Tigerchild's Avatar Tigerchild 10:36 PM 12-20-2010

I would have gotten into shape.  I had about 20 extra lbs of fluff--I really should have done weights and stuff to get really strong (even if I didn't lose any weight at all).  I also probably would have made wiser decisions when I was in a panic about lost weight (I lost over 60 lbs in 6 weeks post-twins due to nursing around the clock AND pumping for a baby in PICU and felt like a stale turd run over by a mack truck--my OB freaked and told me to start drinking milkshakes if I had to, which set up totally horrible eating habits, like even worse than before, that I am STILL having to deal with, except for now I have 70 pounds of fluff to get rid of).  I would have utilized our WONDERFUL YMCA earlier.  I would have started counseling for rage/childhood abuse issues earlier and for longer after having the kiddos (sleep dep + nutritional dep + trauma from nurse abuse + my mother's meltdown/tantruming while I'm trying to deal with that does not make for a great experience--I did get counseling to see me through the crisis, 6 months worth.  I really wish I had pushed harder and worked harder and perhaps gone for a year or two.)

titania8's Avatar titania8 07:30 PM 01-01-2011

researched homebirth of twins and attended LLL meetings when i was pg. those 2 things would have changed everything for me.

herdingkittens's Avatar herdingkittens 09:20 PM 01-05-2011

I would have found a midwife with twins experience and had them at home.  Oh, and lined up dinners for 6 months from anyone willing to help!  redface.gif