cry for help @ 30 weeks pregnant. long one.... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 02-22-2011, 05:00 AM - Thread Starter
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Hi.  I either need reassurance or a reality check so I can mentally get through the rest of this pregnancy/life.


This pregnancy was very very much wanted.  However, that doesn't really seem to be helping me mentally through the difficulties of it.  I am 30 weeks and last night I think I finally cracked.  I have been off work, on bedrest since 18 weeks.  We don't know anyone here and family is limited so the isolation (with my toddler) has been beyond awful.  This pregnancy has been so much more difficult than my singleton b/c since the beginning (well except week 15/16 which were "easy"), I have only been able to get through that day.  The nausea, vomiting, dizziness, dehydration, anemia, unable to eat, insomnia, pains.....I can never look past the next few hours. 


I have some chronic conditions which we expected to get worse during the pregnancy but until you are there.......there really is no preparing.  I have herniated discs and nerve damage that cause a lot of pain in my abdomen.  I am short with a tiny torso and literally one baby barely fit in me so two are tearing me apart.   I have turned to actual pharmacueticals to try and alleviate some of this nightmare.  Ambien does nothing for my insomnia b/c my pain is so bad.    I have tried many a pain killers including vicodin and tramadol--nothing touches the pain.   The skin on the right side of my stomach feels like it has a hot curling iron being held to it and I can't even tolerate fabric touching it.  My dr thinks maybe I am getting shingles but maybe it just the nerve damage from my back. 


then there is the concept of having 2 more babies at home.  honestly I am pretty much to the point of being a handicapped person right now.  although i was once an active, happy positive person, right at this moment I can't imagine going from laying down for 4 months in pain to BAM, having 2 newborns that require constant care.  I will admit, I am not really looking forward to much of any of this right now. 


I literally don't know how I am going to go 2 more months.  I know I probably have things giong on that many of you don't have but I guess this is what I am asking:

1.  do the ailments that you experience during a twin pregnancy really go away when you deliver?  how long does it take?

2.  will I feel semi-normal again?

3.  after bedrest were you physically able to care for 2 newborns (and other kids in the house and yourself......)?

4.  any tips to get through the rest of my pregnancy?

5.  any tips to get through the postpartum periods with zero muscle tone from bedrest?


thank you. 




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#2 of 5 Old 02-22-2011, 11:20 AM
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hugs to you. I can not know what you are going through, but I can offer some advice.

Your spouse/partner needs to plan on taking family medical leave. Your doctor may have to fill out some paperwork, but you will need his help when the babies are new for longer than with a singleton.  You said you are isolated, but if you can reach out to family and request help, bluntly, you might get somewhere. Even going as far as requesting that someone plan a visit to come see and help with the newborns.


For your painful skin, I found cool ice packs, frozen veggies, and burn relief lotions (with lidocane in it) were helpful for me. I had uncontrolled itching, not pain, but it might help you, too.


Best of luck. I'm sorry it's so difficult right now, and hope things improve. I would suggest you be very honest with your husband about your needs right now, perhaps preparing to have hired help at some point.  Your frustration with bedrest and isolation might be mentioned to your doctor, too.

Twin boys (2/05) and little sister (10/07)
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#3 of 5 Old 02-22-2011, 11:22 AM
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I didn't answer some of your questions!  My pain and discomfort eased upon delivery, but I didn't really feel myself for a few weeks after the birth. I remember taking them for a walk in the stroller thinking "there I am!", realizing that I finally felt like more of myself.

Twin boys (2/05) and little sister (10/07)
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#4 of 5 Old 02-22-2011, 01:14 PM
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I agree with what Red Pajama wrote about getting help from anywhere you possibly can.  Maybe when summer gets here you could hire a local high school girl to be a mother's helper?  Maybe you could post in the tribe area here and see if anyone is close.  I know if an mdc mama were close to me and needed help, I'd do my best. 


I distinctly remember feeling like I could breathe again when the first baby was pulled out (C-section).  I didn't even know I couldn't breathe easily till they pulled her out.  I had severe itching during my pregnancy that got worse after the babies were born.  It lasted about 4 months.  In hindsight, I was too overwhelmed with the babies to take care of it and I should have.  I put everyone's needs so far ahead of my own that it wasn't healthy for me.  Your health is extremely important to the care of your babies.


So in some ways I felt immediately better and in others it took a bit.  


I know you're on bedrest, but would accupuncture or chiropractic care help with the pain?  I saw a chiro recently for hip pain I'd had off and on since the birth of my twins and it was gone in two sessions.  


Good luck to you mama! 

SAHM to F & P, : fraternal twins born 3/05, : I, born 12/07 & at 5 weeks in July 2009
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#5 of 5 Old 02-23-2011, 08:15 AM
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My twins are 5 now.  However, your post brought me right back to the final months of my twin pregnancy.  I also had a toddler home.  Though I was not on bedrest.  I don't think you need a reality check, but I will give you reassurance that it will get better. I would just try and take things day by day.  I couldn't bare to look at the big picture.  I will tell you that many of my physical ailments got immediately better. Even after the first baby delivered.   It was such relief from the constant discomfort and shortness of breath.  The fluid retention melted away.  I had some lingering back pain that resolved in the first month.  You will need help (and can't even imagine how the bedrest must take its toll on your body).  Please reach out - ask for exactly what you need.  This was so hard for me - I never asked for / or accepted help with my first - but you will need to with the twins.

Hang In

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