How did you settle 2 year old twins after night weaning? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 05-30-2011, 09:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am in the process of night weaning my 23 month old twins. I co sleep with them and I am a solo parent. I am concerned as to how I shall comfort them adequately when they both wake during the night after they have been night weaned. I would greatly apreciate to hear how others have handled this situation with similar aged chidden.
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#2 of 9 Old 05-31-2011, 07:35 AM
 
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My twins weaned around 26 months. I had one that liked to have his back patted, the other would some times rock to sleep.  We also tried restful music.

 

I'll be honest. For awhile, bedtime was like a war for awhile.  We would do all we could do to help them go to sleep, and they would resist, and make lots of noise.  I can promise that it does get better, but it's a journey to get there. For a long while I had to separate them. One turned up on the floor of my room one night, and I let him sleep there. I would have him start in my room, and move him to his own bed after he was asleep.  He only recently gave that up.


Twin boys (2/05) and little sister (10/07)
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#3 of 9 Old 05-31-2011, 01:29 PM
 
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I have been reading the no cry sleep solution and it has whole sections for co sleeping and night nursing , I really highly suggest reading it, I think she gives enough types of calming options one should work for any child.

partners.gif 2twins.gif  So what if I don't fit cleanly into a defined parenting style, my kids don't fit into a personality archetype either!

 
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#4 of 9 Old 05-31-2011, 03:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have that book but like most, the calming suggestions are for dealing with 1 child not 2 crying toddlers.
I would love to know how others calm ( and get them back to sleep) their twins when they both wake crying. I am at a loss as to how to do this either when they are co sleeping or when they have moved to their own beds in the future.
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#5 of 9 Old 05-31-2011, 04:07 PM
 
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yeah i have been wondering how well that book wil scale up to twins.  ill keep an eye out for what is said here, i'm not there yet, mine are 5 months, but im sure i'll be there before i know it


partners.gif 2twins.gif  So what if I don't fit cleanly into a defined parenting style, my kids don't fit into a personality archetype either!

 
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#6 of 9 Old 05-31-2011, 08:50 PM
 
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My twins are 25 months old and I night weaned them cold turkey at 22 months.  At first, my husband responded to them when they woke up crying - he would pick them up and walk them back to sleep. If one woke the other or the second one woke while he was still holding the first, he'd bring one to me so we'd each have one.  Of course that isn't helpful for you if you are doing this solo, but the good news is that very soon he completely phased out and it was all me.  When one wakes, I'll go and lie down with her and of course they still ask to nurse but they know we won't nurse again till morning.  Then I offer to hug, hold, pat, rub, etc. and eventually they settle down.  I have one daughter who likes to be picked up and walked but I can't do that due to my back issues, so I pick her up and sit with her on the bed and that helps to settle her or if I'm desperate I'll wake up my husband.  You'll be surprised how they can sleep through each other's cries - I have very very light sleepers but they do amazingly sleep through each other's cries sometimes.  If they both wake up I'll just lie down between them and they'll each lie in one of my arms and I'll pat them and eventually they go back to sleep. 

 

In the beginning it wasn't easy and there was much more crying, but it's gotten much better as time has passed.  I'm not sure how helpful this was but at least know that it is indeed possible to get them back to sleep on your own, even when they both wake up at the same time.

 

Good luck and hoping you'll be having better nights soon. :)


Mama to S&H, twin girls born 4/09

Baby 3 due 2/12

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#7 of 9 Old 06-03-2011, 12:31 AM
 
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I nightweaned my girls at 2 1/2.  At first they started sleeping on my arms, one on either side, while I slept on my back.  That went on for a few months.  Now I can just pat them on the back.  Usually just one was up though.  They were used to hearing each other cry, I guess.  They still wake up at night though, which I thought would stop when they were weaned. 

 

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#8 of 9 Old 06-28-2011, 10:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you for all of your comments and support.
I took a deap breath, arranged for the babysitter to sleep over on a Saturday night and started night weaning. I went to bed really early (7.30) to limit the effects of sleep deprivation.
I followed Jay Gordon's method. It wasn't anywhere near as bad as I expected. As my son was already detaching and rolling away to sleep the 1st stage was no different for him.
My daughter on the other hand was very frustrated and angry about the change. However it was a different experience this time in comparison to when i have tried to limit her night time feeding in the past, as she wasn't frightened by the changes (which is why I have always stopped any of my attempts in the past) and this time, whilst she was mad, she seemed to understand what was going on.
Having the babysitter out in the lounge also made a huge difference as I felt like someone had my back. And knowing that I could stay centered and continue to comfort one of my toddlers whilst my wonderful babysitter could comfort the other if needed was such a relief.
Amazingly despite all the noise my son slept through it.
For those of you not familiar with Jay Gordon's night weaning plan; for the 1st 3nights you BF but don't let them fall asleep at the breast. The second 3 nights and there after you do not BF (There is much more to it than that)
As I am a single Mum I extended the plan for the 1st 3 nights until the next weekend when the babysitter could stay over again.
My twins, particularly my son, were both furious about this next part of the plan i.e. No bf between (10pm-5am. Yet amazingly once again neither woke at the same time.
To my surprise my daughter has settled into this change much more than my son. I believe this is due to her increased comprehension. When i talk to them about how they have a booby feed to go to bed and then no more booby feeds until morning she clearly understands. Whereas i am not so sure about my son. I guess this will change over the coming months.
Since night weaning we all had a cold and i BF during the night to get through it. This has been a bit of a step backwards but worth it and I have made up lost ground.
Still stuck with the quandary of what to do when both wake at the same time. At the moment I pat my daughter and offer my son water as she won't drink water during the night. If this doesn't work. I end up BF.
Also they wake at 4-4.30 and will rarely go back to sleep even if I BF them. Other than that we are all sleeping better and I no longer wake up aching from sleeping in bizare positions. What a relief!joy.gif

I searched the Internet and parenting books to no avail for info on night weaning twins for solo Mums.
So I hope this post may help other Mums of twins who are facing the challenges of night weaning.
Good luck
Jay
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#9 of 9 Old 07-12-2011, 11:53 PM
 
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Great job mama! I am not a single parent but I nightweaned my twins on my own without DH's help. (I know it's not the same, at least he was there down the hall and I could go insist he help me if all heck did break loose.)

 

In my case I had done various things attempting to get them to learn to fall asleep on their own, here and there, but never really succeeded. When they were 22 months old I finally decided I could not hack it anymore and decided to night wean.

 

I went cold turkey and declared the all night milk bar closed from midnight to 6am. They woke up and cried, I patted their backs (both at the same time) and made hushing sounds. DS fell asleep after about an hour of crying. I think he was just exhausted.

 

DD kept it up until I hit upon the right thing to tell her, which was, go to sleep now and when you wake up I will feed you. I think she was honestly afraid that she was never going to nurse again.

 

The first time was the hardest and all the subsequent wakings were not nearly as bad. They cried, I patted their backs and reminded them that it was sleep time and I would feed them when it got light outside. Eventually they would fall back asleep.

 

After 2 weeks they were not really waking at all. Or at least, they did not require any night parenting to go back to sleep. I did continue to cosleep and they knew I was there next to them.


Poppan ~ twins born April 2007
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