Pregnant with Multiples Chat Thread, Summer 2011 - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 41 Old 07-19-2011, 05:10 PM
 
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Kewpie--a multiple pregnancy is, different than a singleton....but it makes them feel good to think they are helping, so just smile and nod....arguing the points won't really get you anywhere.....and as long as they aren't expecting twins, leave it at that....if they were I would be worried about the pregnancy and suggest they really get some good information.....since that is not the case, though...just smile and nod!

 

I keep reminding myself of the importance of keeping myself well fed and hydrated lest these babies be born even earlier than originally aniticipated.  I want to be able to all of the AP stuff I did with dd as much as possible with twins, and if they are pre-term and in an incubator, that will definitely hinder all my breastfeeding, babywearing and co-sleeping plans!!!!  (No to mention the obvious health issues they will face.)

 

Cut them some slack for their ignorance....at least it shows how excited they are about your pregnancy! 

 

Be confident in yourself and be proud that you have the good info that you need and keep coming back here for support.  

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#32 of 41 Old 07-19-2011, 05:18 PM
 
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  • Name? (if you feel like it) jo
  • You and maybe your partners age at the birth? me 41, dh, 44
  • Are the babies Mono or Di or what combo of both? di/di
  • What number of kids will is be for you? 3 and 4  (dd is 4 yo, ds is 18 yo)
  • Genders? Will you be finding out?  b/g
  • EDD and or planned birth timing? edd 9/30, planned for 9/9 (at 37 weeks)
  • State you live in? AZ
  •  Anything else you want to share? I am a I believer in AP...knew nothing about it for ds, knew plenty for dd and boy do I see a difference!!!!   I want to do as much AP as possible with twins, but I worry I may need to get more creative and that I may need to compromise on some things.  ie--two newborns in a bed for co-sleeping might be dangerous...especially if they are smaller or preterm....although my strong and healthy dd moved into our bed at birth and never moved out!!!
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#33 of 41 Old 07-19-2011, 08:05 PM
 
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I have to admit this is one of the most exciting page yet!!! Reading all of the exciting news of expecting one of the most valuable possessions a person could hope for. I just want to congratulate everyone on here for being mothers, and best wishes to all of YOU and the LITTLE STARS in or out of your stomach!!!

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#34 of 41 Old 07-20-2011, 05:59 AM
 
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Thanks for your input.  I posted my vent about a month ago not long after I found out about the twins.  I'm thankful to be able to say that things have become much better at this point.  I have recognized other's need to help and take it for what it is, just advice.  I've also found MoMs to have advice for me that also doesn't fit (mostly after birth).  I just thank them and tell them they've given me much to think about.  It works. :)

 

You're getting close to your end!  I hope things go well for you.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by kungfufugirl View Post

Kewpie--a multiple pregnancy is, different than a singleton....but it makes them feel good to think they are helping, so just smile and nod....arguing the points won't really get you anywhere.....and as long as they aren't expecting twins, leave it at that....if they were I would be worried about the pregnancy and suggest they really get some good information.....since that is not the case, though...just smile and nod!

 

I keep reminding myself of the importance of keeping myself well fed and hydrated lest these babies be born even earlier than originally aniticipated.  I want to be able to all of the AP stuff I did with dd as much as possible with twins, and if they are pre-term and in an incubator, that will definitely hinder all my breastfeeding, babywearing and co-sleeping plans!!!!  (No to mention the obvious health issues they will face.)

 

Cut them some slack for their ignorance....at least it shows how excited they are about your pregnancy! 

 

Be confident in yourself and be proud that you have the good info that you need and keep coming back here for support.  



 


Me: 33 PCOS Him: 33 vericocele
13 long years of TTC using various methods before the twins finally came - Too much history to list
IVF #1 11 weeks
IVF #2 Liam and Maisie (now 2 years old)
IVF #3 BFN and no frosties
IVF #4 BFP!!!! Twins again!

***4***8**12***16***20***24*** 28***32***36***40
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#35 of 41 Old 07-20-2011, 11:48 AM
 
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Kewpie--still a little more than 7 weeks to go for my adjusted due date!  As I get closer I get soooo uncomfortable and the days get longer....I am considering moving downstairs to the guest bed b/c the mattress is softer, but its only a full size, so i will be alone....

 

Glad to hear the intrusive advice isn't as bad as it was....or maybe you just got used to it.  All the advice I hear circulating on my local MoMs support group website is pretty NON-AP....so I just take it with a grain of salt.  I know I won't be able to do all the AP stuff I did with dd to the extent that I did do it with her, but I see no reason to let it go completely!  Even my OB keeps suggesting I get a night nanny, but in my experience babies breastfeed and interact more at night in the early weeks, so why would I give that special time up to a complete stranger?  But that is the trend for MoMs in that area.  I'm sure I'll be exhausted and even miserable at times, but we'll see how it goes......I would love to have help, but I still want to be there for them.....

 

FYI--DD was IVF/ICSI, these twins are donated embryos.  We tried two more fresh cycles and could make no more embryos...my ovaries were just completely done!

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#36 of 41 Old 07-20-2011, 01:36 PM
 
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kungfufu- Yeah, that's the advice I'm getting from MoMs that don't fit me - non-AP.  Getting nannies, formula feeding so everyone can feed, pack n plays throughout the house for sleeping... Just not for me.  My MIL is coming to help, but that's all the help I want.  She's the only one who will treat the babies the way we plan to.  She'll also be there to help with housework and not JUST coo at the babies.  I know 2 babies will be difficult, but I don't get why so many people think it's impossible without a whole crew.  If I were having quads, I'd understand... The rest of the advice, I think I'm just getting used to hearing and I let it slide off.  lol

 

I'm glad your IVF worked in the end.  I'm still rather young (30) so I'm hoping age is on my side and my ovaries don't give out before we're done.  We're planning to do a couple more fresh cycles so we have plenty of totcicles in reserve in case they do.  My husband came from a huge family and I've always wanted one.  Such a bummer when some who don't want kids can have them so easily.  


Me: 33 PCOS Him: 33 vericocele
13 long years of TTC using various methods before the twins finally came - Too much history to list
IVF #1 11 weeks
IVF #2 Liam and Maisie (now 2 years old)
IVF #3 BFN and no frosties
IVF #4 BFP!!!! Twins again!

***4***8**12***16***20***24*** 28***32***36***40
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#37 of 41 Old 07-21-2011, 10:07 AM
 
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I was thinking about my post yesterday and I realized that what I said about having help could be taken as insensitive.  If MoMs or even just a mom needs/wants help, more power to her.  I'm just tired of people telling me that *I* can't handle it with just DH and myself.  We recently moved to NC and have only my mother nearby and she's nearly blind and probably won't be able to help very much cause she doesn't know my house very well.  But I have full confidence that DH and I can handle it. :)


Me: 33 PCOS Him: 33 vericocele
13 long years of TTC using various methods before the twins finally came - Too much history to list
IVF #1 11 weeks
IVF #2 Liam and Maisie (now 2 years old)
IVF #3 BFN and no frosties
IVF #4 BFP!!!! Twins again!

***4***8**12***16***20***24*** 28***32***36***40
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#38 of 41 Old 07-21-2011, 12:33 PM
 
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K----I get what you are saying.....some of the- non-AP advice I put in the back of my mind, just in case, and I do have 3 swings, 3 bouncy vibrator seats  (2 of each for indoors and the extra travel swing and vibrating chair to go to our park across the street....all of which are mostly for emergencies since DH just started with a new company and can only take a few days off and although my parents are close, they (especially my dad) are not in good health, so hopefully when I put the babies down, we can find a happy spot.  What I am really looking forward to using are my baby carriers...I have 2 ergos, one Moby Wrap, one Maya ring sling, and 2 Peanut pouch slings.  I am gonna try the wrap at first, b/c it seems to be the easiest for a double carry with both babies up front...but eventually will wear one at a time....I hope they like it as much as dd did!

 

 

I also have 2 standard bassinets and 2 FP soothing motions gliders (rocking bassinet-like things)....2 for upstairs and 2 down, but I will keep the babies together if possible/for as long as possible.  I did a lot of co-sleeping with dd, but I just don't think it will be as safe with twins--esp if born early or small, so unless I am sure I can stay awake, or have someone watching over us to be sure they are okay, I won't have them next to me in bed.  The bassinett right up against my mattress will have to do.  I will be bf-ing so I will still have frequent, close contact during the night.

 

I got most everything on Craigslist, and some of the items were actually just thrown in with other items I was purchasing, so the were free, so I didn't really plan to get it all.  The only 2 things I purchased new were the FP gliders...for use mostly at night to hopefully make the periods of sleep just a little longer since it will be just me alone caring for them at night. 

 

I don't have any play-yards...and I don't plan on having one...I have several sements of my downstairs area sectioned off with retractable gates, so when then are mobile and I need to walk away, I can leave them in a baby-proofed area and our (very big) dogs cannot get in.  But I will keep an open mind about that...if I need one I will borrow one or pick one up from Craigslist.  I also have a crib, not put together...dd never used one, and maybe I won't with these 2 either, but it is there if I need it.....

 

As soon as possible, I am  re-selling this stuff off at Craigslist...can't wait to get it out of the house already....but like I said...I'll have it just in case!  We also have neghbors excited about helping...and I would prefer that if I wasn't doing the cuddling, another human would be as opposed to a battery operated thing-a-ma-jingy...but people make all sorts of promises.....you are so lucky to have MIL....hopefully my mom will make it up here sometimes.

 

So that's my big plan, but keeping all my options open!!!!

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#39 of 41 Old 07-22-2011, 04:21 AM
 
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I haven't posted much here, but I do have an update (mostly x-posted from my DDC)...

 

 

I lost one of the twins two days ago.  brokenheart.gif

 

DH, DS, and DSS and I were on vacation with my mother.  We'd rented a cottage near Lake Michigan and were just planning on sitting on the beach, eating good food, and chilling out for a few days.  I'd still been spotting and having weird pains, but I talked to the nurse practitioner at my midwife practice before I left, and she had said there's really no reason not to go; we weren't sure why I was having complications, but I'm so early that there's not much to be done anyways in the event of problems.  I figured a little R&R would be a good thing, and hopefully I'd get rested up and start to feel a little better.  I just haven't felt good since I had that flu about 2 weeks ago.

 

We got there, and everything was pretty much business as usual til the second day.  I had a big gush of fluid at about 6 pm.  Looking back, it was amniotic fluid, but I'd been having so much discharge that I sort of dismissed that thought.  But later that night I started bleeding more and had two small contractions.  I passed Baby A at about 2:30 am on the 19th.  

 

We went to the hospital and took the baby with us.  They checked to see if they could determine gender, but he (I'm just going to call it a he) was so small that they couldn't be sure.  They took little impressions of his feet and photos for us and put it all together in a memory box.

 

I had an ultrasound there, and Baby B appeared to be doing fine.  There was still a heartbeat and plenty of amniotic fluid.  My cervix was also closed, which was a good thing.  I didn't appear to be in imminent danger of losing the other baby, but the doctor said that the prognosis just isn't good.  I guess when you lose one and actually give birth to it, the chances for having a successful pregnancy with the second baby go way down.  I'd heard of vanishing twin syndrome (and was oddly worried about it since finding out I was pregnant with twins), but I've not really heard of losing and birthing one but not the other.

 

We have an appointment with my midwife and ob this morning, then they'll decide whether or not they still want me to keep my specialist appointment that I had already scheduled.  When I spoke to the nurse practitioner on the phone, she said that she has heard of a successful, full-term pregnancy after the loss of one baby, but we just have to be very careful about infection.  I'm also worried because the hospital doc said I wasn't likely to lose the placenta until after I gave birth to the other baby (whether that be sooner or later), but I'm pretty sure I lost one piece on each of the past two nights.  Last night, though, I didn't lose anything else, and it's just light bleeding now.

 

I feel so strange.  I'm so sad about losing Baby A, but grateful that Baby B seems ok.  I can still feel him/her moving occasionally.  But I don't want to get my hopes up too much.  Even if everything still looks okay at the appointment tomorrow, I know I'll spend the rest of the pregnancy paranoid.  My weird pains are gone, but there was really no pain at all from the birthing process - not at all like my first miscarriage.  I also feel better physically than I have in a while.  Whatever was going on with Baby A, it was sucking the energy out of me.  But I'm still just waiting for the other shoe to drop.  *sigh*  I hate being pregnant...  I wish there was some way to know if my other baby will be okay.


Married to my loving hubby, proud mama to Ethan thumbsuck.gif (9/09) and Rowyn (7/12)slinggirl.gif  and aspiring homesteader chicken3.gif

Missing my twins, Owen and Sophia, born too soon, July 2011 angel2.gifangel3.gif

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#40 of 41 Old 07-22-2011, 06:51 AM
 
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Diana - I'm SO sorry about your loss.  I will keep baby B in my thoughts.  I hope everything will continue going well with him/her. 


Me: 33 PCOS Him: 33 vericocele
13 long years of TTC using various methods before the twins finally came - Too much history to list
IVF #1 11 weeks
IVF #2 Liam and Maisie (now 2 years old)
IVF #3 BFN and no frosties
IVF #4 BFP!!!! Twins again!

***4***8**12***16***20***24*** 28***32***36***40
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#41 of 41 Old 07-23-2011, 03:19 AM
 
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hug2.gif Diana, I am so sorry for your loss of Baby A. I'll be praying that Baby B stays strong & healthy for you.

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