Do I want more kids (twins are 9months) for the right reasons? - Mothering Forums
Parenting Multiples > Do I want more kids (twins are 9months) for the right reasons?
~adorkable~'s Avatar ~adorkable~ 11:32 PM 09-23-2011

So my twins (my only kids) are 9 months and for the most part it has been pretty reasonable this whole time. yeah my house is messier than i wish but i have to say i'm pretty proud that i am pulling this off with no real help or family close by. I'm sure someone will post and tell me that the hard part is still to come? is it?


So i have been really yearning for more kids and i thought i would never be the gal that would say that, 2 was always going to be just right for us. now i keep thinking about having big family dinners and siblings that have each other when they all grow up and have families of their own. and since im 37 and dh is 41 and it took us a long time to get preggo with this set, im starting to worry that if i want more i need to get on it pronto. (im thinking 4)


sooooo..... am i crazy? or more importantly am i doing this for the right reasons, its hard to be objective about the whole thing. Do i just want to be preggo again? i had a great pregnancy for the most part and do miss it. Do i just want to get another chance at the water birth i didn't get to have with twins and the last minute issues?

I can say that i dont think it is just about cute babies, because no matter how much o love these little ones, in my dreams of more kids its actually much older kids and grown children that i think about most, the thought of having 3 or 4 kids in elementary school is actually the scariest part to me. im also pretty terrified that my next one will be really high maintenance. i've dealt with twins, but heck i have not dealt with colic!


so what do you think, am i nuts, deluding myself or just figuring out that i love being a mom? how do i figure out which one it is??


(im EBF and only just started small amounts of solids, so i have no signs of fertility yet, so this is just pondering at this point, but yikes we all know what happens to the ladies that say that around here, wham!)

lesliesara63's Avatar lesliesara63 06:17 AM 09-24-2011

Your reasons for wanting another child don't have to be "good" enough or anything spectacular, if you still have that feeling go for it. I still really wanted another child after my first two and lots of people didn't understand it. I wasn't supposed to end up with triplets though lol!

mylilmonkeys's Avatar mylilmonkeys 01:37 PM 09-24-2011

Yes!  Go for it.  I believe siblings are one of the greatest gifts parents can give children.  Course, you can see I am definitely pro big family. LOL  

chaimom's Avatar chaimom 07:14 PM 09-24-2011

When my twins were that age, I really wanted another child.  I had been a 2-is-enough person until they were born, I fell madly in love, and knew I had enough love for more.  It had taken us 4 years to get pregnant though, so I doubted it would happen.  Luckily, (and surprisingly) I got pregnant when they were 3 1/2 and it's been wonderful.   It's been great for them to have a younger sister and my dd is the luckiest girl in the world to have such cool older brothers.  They're each great to her in different ways.  I'm glad for them, also, that they have a sibling who isn't their twin-- sometimes there's a lot of pressure in a twin relationship. 


In short-- I don't think you're unreasonable for wanting another one or two children.  I think it's a wonderful gift to your children. 



~adorkable~'s Avatar ~adorkable~ 08:23 PM 09-24-2011

i keep wondering if i jut want to be pregnant again and feel special. i mean i know i do, but im wondering if that is clouding my decision making skills.  its good to hear from chaimom, it seems like i only know folks that either knew they were always going to have a lot of kids or think that its crazy too. It took us a long time to get pregnant also, including a deployment to Iraq in the middle of things. So the thought of wanting more comes with that cloud. but i am also in way better health after this last pregnancy, im nearly 30 pounds below my pre pregnancy weight and i think this has really changed my insulin issues. I feel great, sometimes i think i have more energy now than before the babies!


but i worry that im getting too old and that there is too instability in our finances, specially if i am too busy with kids to work. i know there are always folks that say that these things dont matter, but i really feel they do. and i feel like i would be rushing to beat the clock, specially if i wanted a even number, im not really comfortable being aggressive and going with most fertility treatments, heck i already had twins. of course i dont even have my cycle right now, though this last week i felt some strong O pains, so who knows, we are starting solid food these past few days. but i do assume that once i get my cycle back that it will be a lot better than before since my weight has gotten so great.


oh so much to think about, thanks for letting me ramble

Justmee's Avatar Justmee 11:37 PM 09-24-2011

Nope, I actually got pregnant when my twins were 7 months old. It was crazy for a while, but it's so amazing also. I still want more and I hav 4 :). I say if you want another baby, go for it!

Shuli's Avatar Shuli 08:26 AM 09-25-2011

I also agree that siblings is a great source of joy for family. I got pregnant the second time when the boys were about 18 months. I was weaning and I didn't even know that my fertility had returned, so I didn't actually realize I was pregnant until I was about 10 weeks along. This time, we waited a little bit longer mostly for financial issues but also because our daughter has some mild special needs so we felt like we could only really deal with a certain amount of chaos. I always wanted another one, but DH wanted to wait. I suppose the powers that be agreed with me because I find myself pregnant with our fourth.  We weren't trying at all, it just happened. I think that if you feel it is time to add to your family, then the time is right for you :-)

ShanaV's Avatar ShanaV 01:47 PM 09-25-2011
Agreeing with the above -- if you and Daddy are cool with it, do it. I might wait till the twins are well over a year, so that if your milk supply is impacted it won't be *that* detrimental. Of course, AF hasn't even come back yet, and who knows when she will.

But you're not crazy at all for wanting more after twins! People always ask me "you're done right?!" And I say "Nope, I'm not scared off yet!" Glad that you're not scared off either.
ladydodson's Avatar ladydodson 02:50 PM 09-25-2011

i say go for it! just dont prevent and see what'ing can make cycles wonky for awhile so its best to start asap if you want more...


i dont think i will ever stop wanting more children...but hubs has cut me off at praying for an oops tho.

~adorkable~'s Avatar ~adorkable~ 08:18 PM 09-25-2011
Yeah we talked more about it over the last few days since he was clearly not being careful to prevent an oops. I think we are going to just not worry till I get my cycle back and reevaluate out timing at that point. Knowing of course that we could possible have a first cycle pregnancy. It's hard for us to wrap our head around ever "worrying" about an oops after taking so many years of such yearning To have a baby. But this is where we are now, lots of thinking still to do, but ok to what happens and that's huge.

Part of me thinks a lot about what the right spacing is or the best time of year for a newborn, the rest of me laughs so hard, since I did that for 3years and could not control a dam thing!