I live in an area where there are no doulas to hire, we have no family near by (my family for example is about 20 hours by air away), we also have very few friends (and none with kids, mostly are also men).
I am realizing it is likely I will be giving birth alone (at the hospital) possibly without my DH there since DS is just over 2 and I do not want him there (he is very curious, into everything and at the apex of his tantrum age) the only way I see DH being able to be there is if I go into labor/give birth while DS is at daycare (M-Th, 10-3pm).
Has anyone had the experiencing of birthing alone? Or even birthing in a country where you are not a native speaker? I am trying to being to prepare myself for this process/reality. I have even to some extent been considering a scheduled c-section so that DS can be at daycare, DH could be with me and I can hire some after birth support (a babysitter for afternoons with DS, grocery delivery, etc)
DS1 Dec 2009 DZ Twins July 2012
Is there an older female neighbor you might develop a relationship with?
I have considered the possibility that when we have our second I may not have anyone to leave my daughter with. This is more unlikely for me than it seems for you (we might fly a grandmother in, as we are all in the same country just spread apart), but I have considered it, and looking about myself I noticed two female neighbors who are old enough to have mothered me. We need to be friends anyway, and if it came to that, I would ask one of them to please care for my daughter for the night. I think the majority of women would be sympathetic to your situation, and would want to help if they could.
And on 09/23/2011, we were three; husband, daughter, and me!
our apartment complex is most college students and generally in a constant state of flux, but it might be worth asking come early July if any of them would be available to come up to our apartment and stay with DS if for some reason I pop in the middle of the night.. hmmm
DS1 Dec 2009 DZ Twins July 2012
When my younger sister was born, we were recent immigrants to the US and my mother was in a similar situation. What they did was simply take me to the hospital (in the middle of the night) and I stayed at the nurse's station with three kind nurses, while my father was with my mother. Have you asked the hospital what their policy is? I find it hard to believe they would not find an arrangement for your DS if you come in laboring with your husband and child. I certainly understand your fear because I can imagine myself in a similar situation. It is frightening not to have a secure arrangment for your older child. Another alternative might be to see if one of his nursery teachers/carers would be willing to babysit on a one-time basis for this special situation. That way he would be cared for by someone familiar. I truly hope you are able to find a solution you are comfortable with!
Me + DH + DS ('07) + after a long and bumpy road, thrilled that our twin boys are finally here (DS2 & DS3, '12)
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