Anxiety during the first year with mutiples.. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 05-28-2012, 12:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm only 32w now with DZ twins but wondering how people have managed their anxieties/stresses during their first few months or year of being a mom of multiples (or in my case, before they are even born!)

 

Lately I am having a ton of anxiety about going from 1 to 3 kids (all under 3), not having help or a support structure in this little town, living in an apartment with no elevator, living in an apartment which is too small for 5 people and a big dog (450 sq ft, if you count the deck), how I will manage to do anything with 3 kids since I'm barely getting by on a day to day with 1 DS.. and the list goes on...

 

Anyone have any coping techniques to manage stress and anxieties or even just survive with a sense of humor about it all?

 

I find I turn a lot to food at night, and I need to find other options which don't include candy and chips to soothe myself.


DS1 Dec 2009 fuzmalesling.gif DZ Twins July 2012 babyboy.gifbabygirl.gif

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#2 of 5 Old 05-31-2012, 07:11 PM
 
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Oh mama, I know that well. I was so filled with anxiety before and after my girls were born. They spent 3 months in the NICU and I fought SO hard to get them home, when they finally arrived I went to pieces. This is totally not PC but I took Xanex for the first 5 days after they came home. I was so worried that I was crying all the time and had horrible nausea, I couldn't keep anything down. I normally NEVER take drugs, even for a headache but it was necessary for me in those first couple days. I also had my mom come stay with us for three days.

 

If you do not have any family around maybe consider hiring a nanny with multiples experience to help you for at least the last week before they arrive and two weeks after they are born. Even if you think you can handle it the noise level will get to you, I have become very comfortable with the sound of a crying baby! My daughters are 13 months and I still have a mother's helper come once or twice a week to give me a break.

 

There IS a light at the end of the tunnel, my girls were hard until about 9 months old and then it was like a light switch. All of a sudden they started to feed themselves, play, crawl and interact with each other. I will not lie to you, it is hard but also so much more fun then I could never have imagined. I have laughed more this year then any year before. My girls are SO much fun now and I have not had that horrible anxiety after the first month.

 

As for your living situation, it will be hard to have so many people in such a small space. Make sure you invest in a double stroller so you can get out of the house and not have to hold a baby for a little while. I also had the twin Moby wrap which was great for carrying both of them until they got to about 9 or 10lbs and then it was too much weight and not enough support so I switched to carrying one at a time in the Ergo.

 

Feel free to ask me any questions, I have been there and I can say I am finally on the other side :)


Wife to DH  dh_malesling.GIF Momma to twin girls slingtwin.gif cloth diapering, no vaxing, family bed, organic living, eating and wearing family! treehugger.gif

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#3 of 5 Old 06-01-2012, 01:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks so much for your reply twinpossible

 

 

 

Quote:

 

If you do not have any family around maybe consider hiring a nanny with multiples experience to help you for at least the last week before they arrive and two weeks after they are born. Even if you think you can handle it the noise level will get to you, I have become very comfortable with the sound of a crying baby! My daughters are 13 months and I still have a mother's helper come once or twice a week to give me a break.

 

I am hoping to have my parents coming for 1-2 weeks after the birth just to help with DS and to help feed us all.. I am really bad with a lot of noise and chaos and I know that part of this is going to be horrible/hard on me.

 

 

Quote:

 

 Make sure you invest in a double stroller so you can get out of the house and not have to hold a baby for a little while. I also had the twin Moby wrap which was great for carrying both of them until they got to about 9 or 10lbs and then it was too much weight and not enough support so I switched to carrying one at a time in the Ergo.

 

I did end up buying (as my big purchase) a double stroller for the twins for that very reason. I remember we did not have a stroller for DS1 when he was born and it made leaving near impossible until I was strong enough to carrying him in a sling/ergo which wasn't for a few months after birth.. I am wondering how big the twins will be when they come out- right now they're already measuring big for singletons-- nevermind twins.

 

What was your sleep schedule like? Did you BF them or bottle feed?


DS1 Dec 2009 fuzmalesling.gif DZ Twins July 2012 babyboy.gifbabygirl.gif

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#4 of 5 Old 06-01-2012, 08:37 AM
 
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For the first couple of weeks you're on your own (perhaps after your parents leave) consider putting up an online sign up and getting people to bring you meals. That was very good for us.

 

And I would consider the nanny/postpartum doula after they go as well.

 

I didn't do a lot besides breastfeed and pump for a while. And change diapers. And eat like a racehorse.

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#5 of 5 Old 06-01-2012, 09:16 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I will be freezing meals so we have a few weeks worth of food (or more if I can get the energy to do so).. there are no PP doulas here in this area of Europe but I am working on hiring some help to come now and then
 


DS1 Dec 2009 fuzmalesling.gif DZ Twins July 2012 babyboy.gifbabygirl.gif

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