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#1 of 9 Old 04-20-2004, 12:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I feel like I am suffocating. They are so clingy. They aren't content unless I am sitting still on the couch so they can jump into my lap, nurse for 5 seconds, then run off for 2 minutes, then repeat. Even when I say "nursies are all gone" and hold my shirt down, they still repeat the same pattern without giving me a break.

I can't even get up to go to the bathroom or fix a drink without a major meltdown.

They are mostly fine when we are out, but I am a homebody. I want to come home and be able to do something other than sit on the couch!

They are 18 months now. Please tell me this gets better because I am seriously getting burnt out. The only break I get right now is when they go to bed and by then I am so burnt out that I just want to go to sleep.

I cannot afford mother's day out or a mother's helper. In fact, I am working part time in a nursery just to pay for groceries.
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#2 of 9 Old 04-20-2004, 10:25 PM
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It's hard when you have clingy days. Have you ever tried leading them to their toys and telling them it is time for them to play while mommy does (fill in the blank) then go about your task. I would do that even if they protested loudly. They are old enough to play for awhile so you can do a few things you need to do. Sometimes kids need a little encouragement from mom to play independently. If they are nursing that often it isn't out of hunger it's probably more out of habit so you don't need to worry about that. I can see how you would feel burnout. When my twins have been sick they want constant holding and although I love them dearly it does make you tired.
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#3 of 9 Old 04-21-2004, 12:05 AM
 
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laralou--

i totally understand. mine aren't as old as yours but i totally understand.

i am cleaning out a lot of items for our move and would love to send you a care package of toys & silks that would be new to them. maybe that will give you a few minutes on the couch...

and i'll include some magazines for you to read in case you remain trapped on the couch....

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#4 of 9 Old 04-21-2004, 02:30 AM
 
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My girls did this from about 16 months to 26 months. It does get better as they get older and a lot of times there is an under lying issue with them. With us we were staying with my in-laws till we found a house and even though I was always around they would not let me do anything even cook dinner with out holding onto my legs and fighting over who got to touch me where. I think they did not feel at "home" there and it was hard for them to play the way they wanted, they were getting told no way too much because of all the non baby items around. Hugs to you!!! Maybe see if you can find some fun game to play with them that involves what you want to do even as simple as "helping" get your drink or what ever. It does get better!!
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#5 of 9 Old 04-21-2004, 02:42 AM
 
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Oh wow, yes its a really tough time. It will get better but not for a bit yet.
You need to seiz the oppertunity whenever its peaceful enough to, to have some mommy time.I also found it helped to have more one on one time. Here we have a story time with each in seperate parts of the house. The onoe on one attn really helped calm them and seemed to fill the constant need of fighting over mommy.Plus they got to spend one on one time woth daddy too! We would switch everynight.Now that dh is working all the time we now have out of the house dates. Dh would take J for aboosterjuice while T and I woul dwalk aroun d the mall for a while.
But really what kept me th emost sane during th eday especially when I was alone woth them was to get out of the house. I know you said you are a home body but you also need to keep sane KWIM? Now that spring is here plan more days outside and go exploring. Go to a new area,park or mall you have never been to. Bring acooler to ensure nobody gets hungry ar thirsty an djust go! We used to live on our van during those cliongy times and believe me at three we still often have those days! So we go go go go go go. And then after a couple days of being away from home we all are ready to be at home and enjoy it so much more.Even with thier toys, its like they really missed thier toys and they are brand new again to them.
I hope you get soem kind of a break soon. Days kliek these are one of the hardest tiems of my ife!
please excuse the typos, I ma trying to type in record time tonight cuz my dd may wake up soon due to illness.
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#6 of 9 Old 04-23-2004, 12:33 AM
 
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i feel ya mama
sometimes these babies AND sophia (2 1/2) are SO clingy
all three wanting to nurse or be held
all trying to poop at the same time
or all tired at the same time
probably the most challenging thing for me w/ all these babies
is that i can't tend to them immediately every time
like i could w/ my first
but you know, sometimes i really have to pee
or take the lasagna out of the oven
or wash some dishes b/c there are no clean spoons
or a million other things i need to do
so, tho' it's hard for me, sometimes they just have to wait
and i actually find that at least half the time
their crying winds down to a whine
and then they just find something else to do
i also find that i can give them a cup of water
or a handful of cheerios and that will often occupy them
or get out a favorite toy
if i have tried to wait them out
and tried to distract them
and they are still just wailing
then i sit down on the couch and pull up my shirt
but i totally know what you are talking about
some days i feel like my ass is rooted to the couch

i am getting more tolerant of hearing babies cry/whine
and it no longer makes me lose my temper
(unless i'm really really tired)
and i try not to feel guilty about not being able to be there
giving them everything they want at every minute
b/c, tho' it is different for them
than for a singleton
their lives are so enriched by having each other

i am like the previous poster
i have got to get out of the house
today it was pouring down rain the WHOLLLLLLE day
but we still went out to the store
and when we left, they all 3 fell asleep for TWO hours
i parked the van and read the WHOLE newspaper
and did the crossword
it was awesome
anyway, we are always on the go
for me, that is essential
and it very often appeases the babies too
they like the change of scenery

chin up mama, this too shall pass
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#7 of 9 Old 04-23-2004, 08:39 AM
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I agree with elyssia, when we are having a cranky day getting out the house helps everyone. Now that the weather is warmer we tried to go outside a little everyday. The outdoors seems to really entertain them.
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#8 of 9 Old 04-27-2004, 01:59 AM
 
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okay, but tell me NOW to get out of the house with the twins, toddler and 5 yo with no help?



Laralou--how are you doing? I've been thinking of you a lot.

April
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#9 of 9 Old 04-27-2004, 07:00 PM
 
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triple stroller was my big tax check purchase
(ebay, $288)
and we use that for long outside walks
otherwise we take the double stroller + backpack
and go to the mall, grocery store, zoo, children's museum
my oldest is 8, not 5, but hopefully your 5 yo can be SOMEwhat
self sufficient on outings
at least return to you when you call her (her?)
i like to pack a lot of snacks and water bottles
and head to the park
it is not easy but, for me, always better
than feeling stuck in the house
---but that is my personality
before i had kids i was only home to sleep
(and not every night )
and change clothes
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