Is anyone else tired of the negativity? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 42 Old 07-13-2013, 08:34 AM
 
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Hi everyone, thanks for all your support, just wanted to update you. The girls are here! Born at 1:49 and 1:51 p.m. on Wednesday via planned c-section. Hassanah, Baby A, weighed 4.13 and measured 17.7. She was breech, while Shahzadi, Baby B, was transverse and weighed 5.8 and measured 19.1. No nicu time at all. We were sent home yesterday. I am still sore and moving pretty slowly, but I feel good. Thanks for all your support, and good luck to all expectant twin moms on here. Hope you all get a chance for a vaginal birth. The sction was not as bad as I had feared, but the morphine made me feel just awful for the first day--and night. Trying to care for babies while you are dizzy, vomiting, bleeding heavily, and stoned-out is NOT fun at all. Having a ditzy lc show you how to pump in that state is futile(literally remembered nothing the next day, had to figure it out myself, but I did it--until my milk came in and both girls are nursing now). Second lc was great. Hospital stay was good. Apgars were 8 and 9 for Hassanah and 9 and 9 for Shahzadi. :-D.

TizTaz5, wife of a wonderful husband and mother of an angel (lost June '09) and two rainbow1284.gif babies born in July '13. Great things really do come in pairs!
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#32 of 42 Old 07-13-2013, 08:52 AM
 
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congratulations! So glad you were able to avoid a NICU stay and they're healthy!

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#33 of 42 Old 07-14-2013, 07:13 AM
 
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wonderful! congratulations, mama!  xx


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#34 of 42 Old 07-23-2013, 12:51 AM
 
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Congratulations!!
 


Strawberry lover, dog-person, New Yorker. wool.gif (Who doesn't love a jump-roping sheep?)

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#35 of 42 Old 07-24-2013, 08:01 PM
 
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Thanks, everyone. The girls had a doctor visit this afternoon. They are 2 weeks today and have put on weight well. Hassanah is at 5.1, from 4.13 at birth, while Shahzadi has regained her birth weight and is still 5.8. The past week has been a challenge, but my husband helps me a lot. It is going ok, and I am breastfeeding them both. Keep sending positive thoughts my way, and I wish you all the best.

TizTaz5, wife of a wonderful husband and mother of an angel (lost June '09) and two rainbow1284.gif babies born in July '13. Great things really do come in pairs!
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#36 of 42 Old 08-15-2013, 11:30 AM
 
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Hi everyone, just wanted to jump in here.  Congratulations TizTaz!

 

When I was pregnant I got really tired of reading all the horror stories about premature births, etc.  It was only when I joined MDC that I started to think maybe I could actually carry my babies to 37 weeks (which I did).  It's hard eough physically to be pregnant with multiples, and when you are bombarded with scary stories about what "could" happen it makes for a very stressful pregnancy!

 

Now that they are 3 months old I find that most of the negativity in my life comes from within.  I am tired of being negative about having twins!  I wish I could be happier about it, but the fact is I feel like my life is completely out of my control right now and my activities are dictated by these 2 little creatures.  I don't get out much, so when people do stop me and make the stupid "twin" comments I enjoy it.  It makes me feel special.  I've been lucky that both sides of the family are very supportive and involved, so we have had lots of help.  

 

MommaBear, I am totally going to check out that book.  Thanks for the tip!

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#37 of 42 Old 08-15-2013, 12:51 PM
 
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*hugs* to you, 2babies2kidsmom.  I think many of us can relate to having those negative feelings inside sometimes.  To be honest, I had a lot of them the first 6 months.  You have already gotten past the hardest stage of twin-dom, IMHO.  The first 3 months were the toughest.  My girls are 10 1/2 months now, and even though it is still hard sometimes, overall it is SO much easier.  I still don't get out by myself much with them, other than walks, as I'm on my own all day, and between getting their two naps in, feedings and giving them time for play, it's hard. But when my husband is home, we take them out more and more. Looking back, I still cannot believe how hard some of last fall and winter was, but I also feel a little wistful, realizing that they are moving towards toddlerhood at such a fast rate.  And they won't be infants for much longer.  Some of the days feel endless when you are going through them, but now it feels like time has flown by. I'm 42, and these are the only kids we will have. So sometimes, I really do miss that teeny tiny stage.  It's rough having one's life restricted to such a degree.  But at this point, I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and how, with each passing year, I'll have a little more of my own freedom back, and also have more time to just BE with my kids and enjoy them.  So hang in there.  You are doing great.  And I agree...sometimes I really enjoy those comments, too, and feel special and proud of showing off my babies.  smile.gif   Other times they can get a little wearying, like when I'm at the farmer's market and I hear for the 10th time, 'well you have a load full there!"  If I'm tired and cranky I want to say, "yeah, no sh#@$, Sherlock! well spotted." lol  But mostly these days I just laugh it off and enjoy the attention.


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#38 of 42 Old 08-15-2013, 01:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Dela: How disappointing that it doesn't get better! I also hate the "just wait until they are walking!" "just wait until they are talking!" "just wait until they are teenagers!" said forbodingly. Yes, won't that be wonderful?! First words, stories, songs, dancing, dating, weddings!!! I CHOSE to have children, after all, and I'm fully aware that children break things, talk back, and draw on the walls. I still want to enjoy each stage.

 

TizTaz5: Congratulations! Yes, possibly some of it has to do with fertility challenges. Our twins were spontaneous (no fertility meds), but it still tooks us two years to get a healthy pregnancy and we suffered one miscarriage, too. So I'm grateful for every day. I guess some of the negative comments come from parents who had unplanned children, etc. They are just projecting, and I have to try and remember that.

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#39 of 42 Old 08-15-2013, 01:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by siddal View Post

Other times they can get a little wearying, like when I'm at the farmer's market and I hear for the 10th time, 'well you have a load full there!"

ALWAYS at the Farmers Market! I wonder why that is. I am usually fine with the first two, maybe three, people who stop me to ask about the twins per outing. But if I'm out for more than an hour or in a busy place, it can actually literally get up into the double digits. And then I get CRANKY and start ignoring everyone. We do take the twins out A LOT, though, and I realize that a lot of twin parents don't as much, so people don't actually see really young twins very often, which makes us even more popular.

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#40 of 42 Old 08-20-2013, 12:09 PM
 
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Congrats Tiztiz!

2babies2kids, I hear you. I do get feelings of frustration that I'm paying a lot more for daycare than I was planning with 3 kids vs. 2 kids (thank God my daycare owner was willing and able to give me a generous discount or it would be even worse) and all the other financial things that 3 kids vs. 2 kids means (more $$ for college, more diapers, more clothes, more carseats, etc.) I feel robbed of another vaginal birth (not that it was a guarentee with a singleton, but much more likely) and robbed of getting to experience the 2 kids I'd planned for. I've mostly gotten over it, but it still is frustrating at times.

As for the typical hands full comments, I tend to respond (when DD1 is not present) that these two babies put together are way easier than my first DD as she was so intense and high needs and didn't sleep. I was seriously a zombie with DD1, it was bad. They already sleep better than she did at 18 months and I mean that combined smile.gif What I find most difficult is when they both are screaming at once and I'm the only adult around(very, very rare) and at bathtime as the non-bather tends to always be fussy so bathtime is not the joy it was with DD1, it's just another chore, can't wait until they are big enough to bathe together! I'm sure there will be lots of other challenges as they get older and are crawling/running in different directions, but there will also be great things too I think like built-in playmate! I can get out with them fine since they like they car (DD1 hated the car for 13 months), I have a double stroller, etc. It is logistically harder and I do avoid some places that are a breeze with just one infant, but I got out tons much to the amazement of a lot of people. I mostly got out for my own sanity, I couldn't stand being cooped up in my house all day on maternity leave, especially after being in the hospital for a week and a half (pre-e w/random HB decels from the babies & c-section) and being stuck on the couch for awhile recovering from the pre-e & c-section. But yeah, most of my frustration is financial and it is hard to vent to people about that as I feel like it is coming off as ungrateful or shallow or something.

I will say I get a lot of "What a blessing!" and the like as well from people too who see my twins. My favorite is everyone trotting out their twin story, you know what I mean: they are a twin, they have twin cousins/friends/etc. It seems at least half the people I meet have a twin story.

Katie trekkie.gif - Married to Mike 06/02/01, Mom to Sydney Anne born 11/21/09 and Alice Maeryn & Oliver Thomas born 04/24/13  hug.gif 

 

 

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#41 of 42 Old 08-20-2013, 02:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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What I find most difficult is when they both are screaming at once and I'm the only adult around.

My favorite is everyone trotting out their twin story, you know what I mean: they are a twin, they have twin cousins/friends/etc. It seems at least half the people I meet have a twin story.

 

Yep, I live in fear of the double meltdown. I'm on baby duty alone on Saturday mornings due to my husband's work schedule and there is almost always a double meltdown. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I take a shot of whiskey. Once I managed to breastfeed one while lying down and bouncing the other until they both fell asleep. Usually, though, I get them into the stroller and go to the mall or farmers market. This is partly why we get out so much! It's for me, but it's also because they fall right to sleep in their stroller or stare up calmly at the sky. Good thing they were born in the spring!


The twin stories! My husband and I are so amused by them. He once came home from the store and said "The cashier's brother's cousin just had twins!"
 

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#42 of 42 Old 08-23-2013, 12:13 PM
 
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Yeah, we went out a lot when I was on maternity leave for the same reason. They tend to fall asleep or at least be distracted in the car or stroller for sure. I planned my TTC so my babies would arrive in the spring/summer for a reason, my first was a winter baby and that made it so hard to get out. If I can't get out of the house I usually end up tandem feeding or at least holding them both on the BFing pillow or holding one while bouncing/rocking the other in the bouncy/rocking chair. I thought I contorted myself with one baby, hah, my body knows its true limits now smile.gif I do cry too sometimes, I'm just glad that they really are such laid back babes, it rarely happens.

lol.gif at your DH's cashier twin story.

Katie trekkie.gif - Married to Mike 06/02/01, Mom to Sydney Anne born 11/21/09 and Alice Maeryn & Oliver Thomas born 04/24/13  hug.gif 

 

 

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