Mostly I just want reassurance that if my husband is carrying & trying to comfort one while I feed the other (or patting one in bed while I feed the other) that it isn't CIO. & that I'm not a monster for ignoring my screaming child. Sometimes I just get frustrated because I feel like if I had one baby then no problem! Baby wants to eat? Great! Here's a boob! Baby needs Mama? No worries, I'm all yours. With twins I feel like I am constantly short changing one of the other & I feel terrible watching my baby get all worked up and screaming
Strawberry lover, dog-person, New Yorker. (Who doesn't love a jump-roping sheep?)
You're not a monster, and you're not ignoring your baby! While my twins are not yet born, and I hope to be able to feed them on demand as you are doing, I know that I also have 2 other children, and there is still only one of me to go around!
CIO is a totally different thing than simply not being able to clone yourself!
It's okay. This is not not not CIO. If your husband is there, then the baby is comforted (and I did do some "nurse one for a few minutes then swap"). When I was on my own, I experimented with one in the swing right next to me and with one nursing and the other on the nursing pillow so we could snuggle, but not nursing (at about nine months tandeming got easier).
This is hard. It all gets easier.
Oh! The other thing I tried at times was feeding at the first signal of demand, so that the other one didn't have to wait quite so long. (or feeding when I anticipated demand, when they were being predictable)
But they will be okay. You're not stunting them, for all that it's heartbreaking.
(also, if your husband isn't there comforting them, and you are dealing with the needs of one baby (or your own needs), it is still not crying it out. Sometimes babies have to wait. And we do our best, but we are only one mama.)