Twins relating to other kids - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 05-07-2014, 01:28 PM - Thread Starter
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Hi - Not sure if this question will fit here... seems like all the posts are just about pregnancy/infancy with twins, but just in case:


I've got 7 year old twin boys, and I'm concerned about how they're interacting with other kids - they're really sweet and kind kids, but they get very... I'm not exactly sure of the right word - defiant/exclusive/sort of teaming up and playing against kids rather than with them.  This isn't true of all their interactions - they play really well with a good number of kids.  But they have this streak, where if they don't know the kids, or even sometimes with the ones they do, where it's like it's the two of them against the others.  It really bothers me, and lately it's been causing some problems.


I'm not a real social person - very much an introvert - so I'm not real outgoing with other people/new people.  But I also don't think that I model us against them?  I'm wondering if this is a twin thing?  The other factor could be (or that could be exacerbating it) is that we're homeschooling for the first time this year, and so they are with each other (and just each other) for a greater amount of time.  We do get out and take classes/get together with other homeschoolers usually at least once a week, they are with other kids at church, play with the neighbor kids...


I could really use some perspective on this, and any ideas in terms of working through this.  Thanks!

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#2 of 2 Old 05-09-2014, 08:04 PM
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I don't have any first-hand experience, I'm mostly replying because you haven't gotten any other responses. I'm sorry if this isn't helpful.


Do your kids ever get the chance to play with kids separately? Not all kids are good at navigating a friendship with twins, and they may be having a harder time socializing with other kids because of that. I don't know if they're identical (even if they aren't identical, they may look/act very similar- I knew fraternal twins that I thought were identical), but they may have a problem with kids treating them the same and not acknowledging their individuality.  It also likely is easier to socialize with each other than with other kids, and the homeschooling may be increasing that as they get so much more chance to socialize with each other than others, and they may need to get a push out of their comfort zone to start socializing with other kids more.


If they have any separate interests, finding clubs for those separate interests might help them get the chance to socialize and make friends as individuals, where they don't have the option of an 'us vs them' dichotomy.

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