07-07-2014, 07:52 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Southern AZ
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How to create bond b/w singleton and twins?
My dd is 8, and I have twin girls (mz) who are 5. They are all so much fun, and they do love each other so much (and bug each other, too!). However, my 8yo still (she's done this pretty much since they were born), talks (complains?) that she is left out and wishes she had a twin, etc ("It's not fair! Why can't I have a twin or older sister!?"). We try to do things to foster the relationship between her and her twin sisters as much as we can, but I need some ideas.
I have yet to talk to a parent who has raised this configuration of children (same sex, w/ older singleton and younger twins)…and I've only met adults who were born into this configuration--about 5 different times. Every time, when I ask these adults if they were close to their singleton older sibling (or vice versa, if the singleton is close to her twin sisters), I get the response, "Not really. I love them (her), but we are just so different and aren't very close at all." This totally makes me SO sad. I want my 8yo to grow up being able to have a unique relationship with each of her twin sisters--to be able to have that sister bond where she can connect and rely on them as siblings.
Any advice on how to foster that relationship? We are moving next year, and so we might put all 3 in one bedroom together. And we also plan on doing more activities where my dh or I take one twin and and our older dd out to do something together (w/o the other twin.) Other ideas?
Thanks so much for any perspective! I wish I could've had another singleton so that she wouldn't have been "alone" but it just wasn't in the cards...
Mama to my sweet sea-blue-eyed girl (2/06) and my hilarious mz dd twins (1/09) who keep me running.