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#1 of 16 Old 08-09-2004, 10:11 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey folks,

I just found out at 33 weeks (last Thursday) that we are having twins. It has been a roller coaster of emotions. I know it is going to be a lot of work and I worry about my 2 1/2 year old boy. I am starting to get excited, but to be honest, it isn't something I was hoping for. I can still think of more reasons to not want twins vs wanting twins.

What are your happy stories of baby twins and toddler twins and relationships between other siblings? Did your family get closer? Any advice?!?!?!
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#2 of 16 Old 08-09-2004, 10:27 AM
 
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Congrats! I do understand what you are going through emotionally, as it was the same for me. My twins are two years and 12 days younger than my first. And I'm here to tell you they ADORE each other! She can make them laugh when I can't, she brings them toys, she gets excited when they wake up, & she gets excited about their accomplishments. It's wonderful!

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
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#3 of 16 Old 08-09-2004, 11:16 AM
 
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My dd was 19 months old when the twins were born. I was nervous about how she'd react to them. Things have been wonderful since they have arrived. She really became a second mommy to them. She coos at them, pats them when they're upset, hugs and kisses them, just loves on them in general. When she wakes up in the morning her first question is "Where's daddy?" and then "Where are the boys?"

It hasn't been roses the entire time; we've had a couple of bumps in the road (like when she hit John in the face because she wanted to know what would happen! ), but for the most part, she's been wonderful with them and they look at her like she hung the moon.

We really prepared her for their arrival and I was sure to give her as much attention as she needed and I could realistically give when the boys were newborns.

Good luck and congratulations to you!
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#4 of 16 Old 08-09-2004, 06:19 PM
 
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Congratulations Mama!!!! I am in twin heaven right now so it's a good time to talk to me!!! Dd just turned 3 a week ago and twins are 4 months old today so dd was almost 3 when they were born. The first few weeks were a major adjustment, but much easier than I was prepared for so it was nice. Dd loves her sisters and really helps a bunch. She totally entertains them and always tells me to nurse them as soon as they get fussy. My girls just started to show some interest in each other and I love it. They are so much fun. They are fraternal and look so different that I always forget they are twins and was worried they wouldn't have that "connection." I think they do, though. It was exhausting in the early days. Nursing two babies and nighttime was rough even though we co-sleep. I still juggle them all night long, but I don't feel sleep deprived at all. I think we do feel more like a family because there seems to be so many of us now. We also like the attention we all get. Everyone thinks twins are so special, but they always seem to give dd attention too so she isn't left out. I know things would be easier if I only had one baby, but I really do get double joy from the babies and am so happy to have both of them. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and your birth!
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#5 of 16 Old 08-10-2004, 09:40 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am starting to get more excited - esp when I talk to parents who really loved having twins. How did you prepare your older ones for the twin arrival?
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#6 of 16 Old 08-11-2004, 09:34 PM
 
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Meg came to my prenatal appts., read books with me about younger siblings, and talked with me about it. Frankly, though, I don't think she understood too much and I really couldn't prepare her all that well.

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
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#7 of 16 Old 08-13-2004, 10:35 PM
 
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Congratulations! My daughter turned 4 the week before my boys were born so she was pretty aware of what was going on the whole time. I was baffled by the amount of people I ran into that told me they always wanted twins... the thought had never entered my mind and I was scared to death of how I'd manage them all. Needless to say, we've all survived! LOL

My daughter adores her twin brothers and in the realm of things adapted well to them. It was overwhelming at first because they did receive alot of attention... they had to, it was only me & dad taking care of them. It's been a ton of fun watching them grow though.

One of my nicer favorite stories (and you'll have lots of not so nice ones too, LOL) of my boys happened about 6-7 months ago (they're now 4)... I had put them to bed and they were still talking to each other. Cyrus never uses Cole's name, he calls him "Bubbie"... well I hear Cy say "nite bubbie" and after a pause Cole says "nite Cy". A few minutes later I hear again "nite bubbie!" and an aggravated "nite Cy!" from Cole... another few minutes passes and again it's "nite bubbie!" and by this point Cole is really getting ill that Cy won't just shut up and yells "NITE CYRUS!". Cyrus waited all of 10 seconds and says, so meekly, "nite twin" and this time a calmer Cole returns with "nite twin"... They're just so precious! LOL

Best of luck to you!
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#8 of 16 Old 08-14-2004, 08:52 PM
 
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Hi I just wanted to say Congrats! And let you know you're not alone!

You've gotten some great advice so far and I'll just add a couple of things:
1. The feeling you had that is dissipating is called twinshock. This is a well known phenomenon. Expect it to hit again several times (especially during tough times) in the first weeks and months after birth. Don't beat yourself up over it, since it's normal and shows you know how intense this situation really is! You're fine!
2. Consider getting the book Mothering Multiples by Karen Kerkhoff Gromada from LLL press. It's been a lifesaver and includes a great deal of info about older child issues as well as multiples-specific issues that you just can't find anywhere else. Check out her website at www.karengromada.com too.
3. If you're interested in using a nursing pillow (some of us love them some folks hate them) check out the EZ2Nurse pillow at www.doubleblessings.com. I use the foam.
4. Co-sleeping, if that's your bag, is awesome with twins, it helps you sleep. You might want to keep the toddler out of the bed the twins are in though, maybe a mattress next to or at the foot of the bed if you do the whole family bed thing.

It's going to be great, there's nothing like those four eyes and all those arms and legs getting so excited to see you come in the room! Fabulous!
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#9 of 16 Old 08-14-2004, 11:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks! I just got the book today and it has helped. I have so many questions!!! I have to decide whether to have the babies in the hospital or at a home closer to hospital. My home, the original plan when we were having only one, is 35 min from the hospital and a little too far for comfort of my midwife. I am leaning towards the hospital. I loved my first home birth experience though...

I think I go through twinshock every time I stop and realize again that there are two in here...

I have been wondering how sleeping will all work out. We do co-sleep with our 2 year old still. We have two double beds pushed together. Do you have the twins together or on each side of you? I have a bed in another room for me to go into if it seems better.

Thanks for the well wishes. I know it will be great.
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#10 of 16 Old 08-15-2004, 10:45 AM
 
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hi, congratulations!!
my twins are 15 mos. old now
my other kids were 7 and 17 mos. when they were born
it has been really hard, i won't lie
but really cool too
bfeeding (on demand) is so much more of a commitment w/ twins, i felt i literally did nothing else for much longer than w/ a
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#11 of 16 Old 08-15-2004, 10:55 AM
 
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sorry, babies here w/ me of course
don't know how they did that

i was going to say, the first few weeks are always a blur even w/ a singleton, that phase lasts longer w/ 2
i was so worried about sophia, my toddler, and how she would deal
she was still nursing strong (only 8 mos. old) and sleeping w/ us when i got pregnant
we made her night wean earlier than i would have and then she quit nursing during the day last week (yayyy )
really there have been issues w/ her wanting attention and me not being able to respond right away
that is a hard lesson to learn so early - that momma has to do something else
she is also learning early things like sharing and not taking things away from her brother and sister
in short - she didn't get to be the baby very long
on the other hand, she LOVES the babies, and they worship her
she has loved them since the day they were born and her frustration has never never been taken out on them
you know? she has never seemed to blame them when my attention is taken with them

my twins were born at home
there are a few other ladies on here who also had twins at home
i'm sorry your midwife is not comfortable w/ it
i was my midwife's first twins client so she put together a team, including a more experienced midwife who has done several sets of twins
she seemed to enjoy it very much as a learning experience
she also caught my first two babies so knows me very well, that helps

we are co-sleeping too
my 2 year old (she'll be 3 in nov.)
has started sleeping in her own bed but we lie down w/ her at night to get her to sleep and she usually is in bed w/ me and the babies when i wake up
i am starting to try to think of a strategy for nightweaning the twins
any suggestions out there????? books to read????
i'm thinking around 18 mos. we'll see if they seem ready

anyway, i am so rambling
just wanted to say congrats!
and hope to see you around here

elyssia
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#12 of 16 Old 12-21-2004, 02:39 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am not sure why I am posting, but I came here when I found out I was having twins and felt like I left it hanging. I just came back to this forum for the first times...because I did have twins...August 29th...at 36 1/2 weeks...but I lost one to a fatal heart disease, HLHS. My story is here: http://www.mothering.com/discussion...ad.php?t=192115 It had nothing to do with the birth, so don't worry all you ladies with twin babies.

I just felt like I had started something here with you all. I was so scared to have twins. And you all helped me feel better about it.

And for all you mamas scared to have twins, realize that there is so much love in you and in any siblings, enough for many babies. It really is a blessing and although I will always live in awe of those raising twins, I think it is not as scary anymore.

I saw my son love both those babies with all his heart and soul. He still does. I realize I had enough of everything to care for two babies.

I am thankful that I began to get excited to raise twins before we found out about her condition.

I wish you all luck!!! I will be back here to hear your stories...
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#13 of 16 Old 12-21-2004, 04:02 AM
 
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fern, I'm so sorry to hear of your losing Nora. I would like to read your story - was that supposed to be a link? {{{HUGS}}}

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
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#14 of 16 Old 12-21-2004, 12:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I will try the link again to my story:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=192115

Kristi
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#15 of 16 Old 12-22-2004, 04:58 AM
 
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I'm so sorry to learn of the loss of Nora, so delighted to hear Anika is well... such a mix of emotion you must live with.
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#16 of 16 Old 12-22-2004, 02:50 PM
 
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Thank you, Kristi for sharing your story with us. I can not even put into words how sorry I am that you lost your precious Nora. The three days you were able to spend with her - I'm sure - will forever be in your heart and soul.

Karen - Mama to Haven (9/00) , Lillie & Faith (MZ - 12/02) and my first homebirthed baby, Willa (3/08)
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