You need a break - hugs to you! Do you have family around or someone you trust (or maybe a few people with 3 kids to watch- lol!)? Or a mother's helper where you're still in the house and available if needed?
I understand where you're coming from and the whole ideals vs reality thing. I absolutely have had moments where I've had to stop myself from lashing out at my girls and it's such a horrible feeling
Is Meg in preschool? Maryn has just started back and she loves her school and I love the 3 afternoons a week it gets me with just the babies!
Are you getting enough sleep? Okay, stupid question, of course you're not... any way you can sleep in a few times a week or get a nap or go to bed early?
Are you getting one on one time with each child? For me, especially with Maryn, spending time one on one with her reminds me of how wonderful she is and why I'm parenting the way I am.
Do you go to LLL meetings or API or something? A friend of mine has started a breastfeeding multiples group through our local (and very NOT breastfeeding friendly) multiples group. This small group keeps growing and is amazing.
I say, take your "me" time whenever you need to...does dh understand how needed it is?
Many, many hugs to you. We're 2/3 of the way through the first year - we are awesome, super women who grew and birthed 2 babies at the same time!!! We rock and we will get through this first year (and every year after that!) because we love our children fiercely and are passionate about our mothering.
But we do need to get a pedicure every once in a while...