"Fighting" 11 month olds - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 10-18-2004, 06:24 PM - Thread Starter
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My first thread here...

My babies always seem like to play with the same toy/piece of furniture/stuff belonging to mum and dad/bit of food, , at the same time. A lot of the time this is ok, but occasionally turns into "fighting". For example they are currently obsessed by a particular shelf and pull each other (by hair, clothes, whatever) out of the way so that they can get to it. Usually I deal with this by moving the ds who has done the pulling/pushing to the other side of the room, distracting him, and explaining to him about sharing, soft touches, etc. He is back after the shelf in about 4 seconds making another grab for other ds's hair...

Any ideas before I get bald babies?? And before anyone suggests it, I can't move the shelf (or the bath taps, or the table leg, etc., etc...)

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#2 of 3 Old 10-18-2004, 07:06 PM
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I have no advice, but I'm experiencing the same thing with my 12 1/2 month olds. Mine fight over cabinet doors, table legs, window sills, etc. I've tried to distract them away from whatever object they're fighting over, but they go right back to it. I'd love to hear other people's advice from those who have BTDT.
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#3 of 3 Old 10-19-2004, 11:55 AM
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I read Siblings without Rivalry and found it helpful. It basically says to ignore the one doing the hurting and pay attention to the one being hurt. I don't think there is a short-term solution for this. I think it is something you will likely struggle with for years to come.

We only fight over toys now, so that is easy to solve. I try to offer a second toy to the one who didn't get it first. If that doesn't work, they both lose it. This has really worked for the most part, but I don't know how it would work for an immobil object. I guess I would stand in front of the object to stop them from playing with it.
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