Not to sound stupid, but have you tried all the positions? For me, it worked best with one in the football hold and the other across my lap. Have you tried both in the football hold--maybe fewer limbs near each other to attack? Sometimes I would nurse one, then the other would want to nurse--it seemed like there was less jockeying then once both were latched on--no competition. Each one also had their own breast. That being said, I think I nursed them together for the first couple of months, and then not again until about ten months until now. So that was a lot of time nursing singly--and doing nothing else. I hear your concerns about your older child. Best of luck. You are doing a phenomenal job tkaing care of your kids--that is a tall order!