Nursing, cosleeping, and my aching back... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 11-30-2004, 08:01 PM - Thread Starter
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So yesterday I read through all 12 pages of posts in this forum for parenting multiples and found answers and insights to some of the things I've been struggling with and I have a follow up question/situation I'd love help with.

My babes are 9 weeks old. I figured out, probably out of laziness, how to nurse them while laying down, about four or five weeks ago. We use the three pillow method - one under my head, one on either side with a baby on each side pillow.

My biggest problem is I can't figure out how to get out from under them without waking them up so I end up falling asleep with them latched on and am absolutely dying by morning because I haven't moved all night and have been flat on my back. This position doesn't exactly allow me a lot of ease in moving them gently. I try and wiggle the pillow out from under each of them, starting at their feet but their bodies usually plop to the bed at some point. If I get my arms out from under them and just sit up, they fall off their pillows, roll into where my body was, and wake up. When we're all in position they are more in the crack between the pillow and my body vs. up on the pillow.

During the day they will nurse, let me put them down, and fall asleep - downstairs. At night when we bring them upstairs to our room they completely freak out and start crying the minute we put them down on our bed. The only thing that seems to calm them is nursing, which I have no problem with but I need to be able to move them.

Our ideal situation is to have them sleep in the crib that is sidecarred to our bed. They won't touch it. I either can't move them or if my dh picks up a sleeping baby off of me and transfers him or her to the crib, the baby wakes up within 90 seconds and is in tears.

Yikes! This has gotten too long. We're really at a loss about what to do. I love having them snuggled up with me all night but my back cannot take this any longer...

I know my question(s) are kind of lost in my diatribe but thanks for any thoughts you may have!

P.S. What fun to add another set of end of September twins to the community!

dust.gif & superhero.gif :: 9/2004
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#2 of 8 Old 12-01-2004, 12:55 AM
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Hello, Gretchen and congratulations on the birth of your twins!!

My girls will be 2-years-old (how did that happen?!) in a little over 2 weeks. I could have written every single word of your post when they were the age of your little ones! I would sleep every single night the same way you do right now. I would wake with a splitting headache and an aching back. Things did improve and we figured out an easier way to do things. I wish I could remember the exact methods we tried and how long it took to get our wrinkles ironed out. It truly all is a blur to me now. (The good news about that is that it will be a blur for you soon too!) I remember figuring out that I didn't need the pillows under the girls and what a wonderful revelation that was...but I don't remember how old they were.

What I did was lay on my back and put one girl on either side of me. I would lay their bodies beside me, rolled in so that faced me. I would then lay their heads up on my shoulder (experiment to where it's most comfy for you) and would latch them on that way. Then when they'd fall asleep - and I would MAKE SURE they were truly OUT before moving them! - I would slide my arm out from around one of them and then the other. I did have some bumpy tries with that method but it's what worked and still works to this day.

I know some people consider thumb sucking to be a not so good thing but my girls found their thumbs at about 9-weeks which turned out wonderfully for us. They only sucked them when they were deep in sleep and in the car. One quit on her own at about 15-months and my other girl is still going strong.

What are you laying them down to nap in during the day (downstairs)? My girls would nap in their pack-n-play during they day but they HAD to be snuggled close together. If you put them in their cosleeper snuggled close together would that work? I'm sure you've already tried that but I'm just throwing that out there. I'll try to think of other ideas to post for you.

Karen - Mama to Haven (9/00) , Lillie & Faith (MZ - 12/02) and my first homebirthed baby, Willa (3/08)
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#3 of 8 Old 12-01-2004, 12:59 AM
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I hope that your back feels better soon. God bless you for nursing both of your babies!

Mama to 10 so far:Mother of Joey (23), Dominick (15), Abigail (13), Angelo (10), Mylee (8), Delainey (6), Colton (4), ID girls Dahniella and Nicolette (2 in July), and Baby 10 coming sometime in July 2015.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!
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#4 of 8 Old 12-01-2004, 07:21 PM - Thread Starter
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Thanks for the commiseration!

I did read with interest that many folks were able to get their twins latched on without pillows under the babes. We're getting closer and closer to head control so hopefully that will begin working soon - and after my breasts stretch out a bit more.

Last night I took them up early when I was sure not to fall asleep with them to see if I could escape and I did manage to leave ds up there for half an hour by himself - YAHOO! Dd came downstairs with me...

I am working diligently on the thumb sucking thing because I'm pretty positive they are just sucking for comfort most of the night. DD has been bringing her fist to her mouth since she was born and periodically manages to actually find her thumb. DS isn't quite as interested but we'll find him sucking on some part of his hand every now and again.

As far as cuddling them up is concerned, these two don't really seem terribly interested in each other yet. I know/hope things will change and from what I understand 3-4 months is the brink of some big changes for them so hopefully this particular area will improve greatly. Oh, during the day my DS will stay asleep in a bouncy seat and my DD will sleep marvelously in their swing. Not conducive for making the transition to their crib but I'm doing what works at the moment...

It's funny but I think it does help knowing I'm not the only twin mama who is/was walking around hunched over because of this crazy sleeping arrangement!

Any other thoughts on positioning or getting them to sleep next to me vs. on me would be greatly appreciated! Oh - I do try, most nights, to take one baby upstairs to nurse him or her to sleep before my dh brings the other baby up, thus having them on different nighttime feeding schedules, if even only by a few minutes. It's worked maybe twice.


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#5 of 8 Old 12-02-2004, 03:28 AM
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I'm glad things are starting to get better. I don't have anything to add except to let you know that you are absolutely light years ahead of where I was at that age! I was still trying to learn how to nurse them sitting up in bed on a boppy pillow - oh the agony! And the backaches, headaches, shoulder aches, arm aches - oh my gosh! And the blurry vision from the exhaustion! Frankly, my girls and I just learned how to nurse all together in bed about two weeks ago, at 13 1/2 months - we've been relying heavily on the EZ2 Nurse pillow up to this time. So you're like a year ahead of us there.

Sending you lots of hugs and blessings and congrats on doing so well so early. Oh and some cyber-Advil (non-toxic, safe for breastfeeding, and all organic! ) for those backaches.
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#6 of 8 Old 12-09-2004, 12:11 AM
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my back still hurts sometimes from being trapped in one position all night, not daring to move b/c i'm afraid i'll wake one of them up
mine are 19 or almost 20 mos. i guess
i think when mine were at the age yours are now, the position i really like was to have one baby next to me, lay on my side and nurse that one, and drape the other one over my side to latch on
then i could roll away from the one when he (or she) was asleep and move away a little to make sure the other one got settle
when they got a little older, i also used the position another poster described
-sit the babies next to you, facing your face and let them just lean over and latch on
mine would nurse that way and when they fell asleep just lay their heads back on my stomach or all the way down to the side of me
hmmmm, i guess i still couldn't get up and move w/ them like that so it doesn't really answer to that problem

i started doing pilates w/ a dvd as much as i could to counteract that scrunched up and sore back feeling that i was toting around every day
it is good for building core strength to support the back, and for stretching the spine
i would recommend doing some kind of stretching, if not yoga or pilates, to help take care of your back
b/c it is really hard, i know, when you are committed to nursing and to not doing CIO

good luck momma!
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#7 of 8 Old 12-11-2004, 03:36 AM
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4 years later and I am STILL in that very same position!

I have no advice as I am still in the same boat..P,S~ your back and neck eventually get so numb and your body gets so used to feeling that way that you barely even notice it after a while
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#8 of 8 Old 12-11-2004, 03:44 AM
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Originally Posted by AngelBee are not alone! My back is killing me..............and I am only nursing one at night!

I hope that your back feels better soon. God bless you for nursing both of your babies!
I feel your pain and am there!!!
Hugs to the three of you,
try yoga also, it helped me immensely with the back probs....

Michelle, vegan mama to my two sweeties, L, 4/21/04 and C, 10/29/06 married to my Bryce for 20+ years. Hanging out with our rescue pups: Jesse (15yold) and Moogley (1 yold)
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