Question for moms of twins - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 19 Old 12-28-2004, 07:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm going to a baby shower and the mom is expecting twins- a boy and a girl.
Funny thing is that whlie I was out today I found matching onesies that are gender neutral and really cute. Plus they were on sale. The funny part is that I got the invite for the shower today after I got home from shopping. :LOL

Anyway, did you want matching outfits for your twins or did you prefer them to have their own clothes? I know like everything else it's a personal preference but I'm curious to know what the consensus it.

TIA!

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#2 of 19 Old 12-28-2004, 08:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oops, thought I was in Talk Amongst Yourselves Mods please move if you need to!

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#3 of 19 Old 12-28-2004, 08:11 PM
 
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I wanted a mix of both. I wanted some matching/corresponding outfits and some non-matching outfits. I was expecting identical girls and I swore I'd never dress them alike. After they were born, though, I dressed them alike a lot because 1) it was so cute and 2) it was easier than dealing with figuring out what both babies were going to wear when I was seriously sleep deprived. Now that my girls are older, I try not to dress them alike most of the time because I've run into a few adult twins who say that their parents always dressed them alike & they hated it. I'm trying to raise them as individuals, even though they come as part of a set.

I think for b/g infants, though, it doesn't really matter. I'm sure the mother will appreciate anything you get her. Expecting two babies is really overwhelming & frightening & I'm sure she'll just be appreciative of your kindness.
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#4 of 19 Old 12-28-2004, 09:06 PM
 
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Well, I never intended to dress mine alike (fraternal boys) but found myself doing it because it is so cute and they don't know the difference now (I even put them in matching/coordinating diapers when I can--just cause it is more fun for me). It is also easier early on (keeping clothes separate would be a pain in the rear I would think--and something she won't want to deal with in those early sleep-deprived days and months!) Now I do coordinating clothes but I say go for the matching, gender-neutral!

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#5 of 19 Old 12-28-2004, 10:39 PM
 
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My friend who's having twins wants everything NOT matching, but I'm sure it's a personal preference. I think matching gender-neutral clothes for boy-girl twins sound adorable.

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#6 of 19 Old 12-28-2004, 11:32 PM
 
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I always wanted some matching. I had hand me downs from my older son, so the only stuff that I bought for the twins was matching stuff. I'm just now starting to usually dress them differently, they're 6.
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#7 of 19 Old 12-28-2004, 11:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the help ladies! I think it would be cute too, so we'll see what she decides.

I'm going to get her something (well, two things I guess :LOL)off her registry but these were such a good deal that I grabbed them as extras to add to her present. With Connor it never seemed we had enough sleepers (why I called them onesies before I don't know) so whether the kids wear them at the same time or not is up to her at least she'll have a couple if she needs them.

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#8 of 19 Old 12-29-2004, 03:29 AM
 
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You didn't mention a registry!! :LOL

Seriously, I registered for things because we NEEDED them. We were really needy when we found out we were having 2 babies. If she has registered for gifts, then please work off of that. There were a few people we knew who thought it wasn't necessary to get us stuff off of our registry and it just annoyed us.
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#9 of 19 Old 12-30-2004, 01:08 PM
 
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When I was pg with my girls (and still didn't know if they were fraternal or identical), I was determined that they would be treated as individuals. I bought clothes for them that were similar but not exact. After they got a little bit older I dressed them alike sometimes and realized how much fun it is! My girls are TOTALLY opposite in the personality department (by the way...DNA testing revealed they are identical even though they shared nothing in the womb) so dressing them alike sometimes seems okay. I don't feel like I'm stiffling them at all. When I let them pick out their own clothes at the store, they often pick the exact same thing!

I also agree with the previous poster who said to work off the registry if you can. Oh! But THE BEST gift you could give her is the book "Mothering Multiples" that is published by LLL. That along with a twin nursing pillow would be a huge plus!

Karen - Mama to Haven (9/00) , Lillie & Faith (MZ - 12/02) and my first homebirthed baby, Willa (3/08)
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#10 of 19 Old 12-30-2004, 02:33 PM
 
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I did some exact matching outfits with my boys when they were small but not a great deal. Since I had no clue how alike or different they would look (fraternals), I did alot of the same things in different colors. Turned out my boys don't even look like they belong in the same family, lol. And now, I'm one of those lucky ones whose twins wear different sizes...:
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#11 of 19 Old 12-30-2004, 03:27 PM
 
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I never match mine and I used to return doubles LOL but don't worry - I'm in the minority

I'm Andrea - I have three boys - 12 year old twins & an 11 year old

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#12 of 19 Old 12-30-2004, 04:16 PM
 
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I sometimes dressed them alike before. Now sometimes they coordinate and sometimes they don't.

I liked having two of the same outfit, because if there was some kind of blowout of a diaper or major spit up I could just change the baby into the same outfit again if you KWIM.

Seconding Mothering Multiples. A must have. Also check out Karen Gromada's website at www.karengromada.com. This link is NOT listed in the book, make sure to write it in prominently close to the front where she'll see it. It has lots of photos of moms nursing twins.

One pillow lots of folks like is the EZ2 Nurse pillow from www.doubleblessings.com. I used it on the flat side because mine were preemies. If they are full termers she can use it on the contoured side. There's another pillow out there called the Anna pillow. I don't know where to get that one.

I agree, go with the registry. Getting enough clothing and gear for twins is really daunting.
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#13 of 19 Old 12-30-2004, 04:21 PM
 
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It never mattered to me, especially with something like onesies & sleepers. I had doubles only of a few outfits & I only ever actually put the boys in them at the same time occasionally. I had a lot of things that were the same item but different color/pattern though.
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#14 of 19 Old 12-30-2004, 04:42 PM
 
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I also have to chime in and second (third?) the recommendation for "Mothering Multiples." It's a great book. An absolute necessity, IMO. Karen's site is good too--especially for all the nursing pictures.
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#15 of 19 Old 01-01-2005, 10:30 PM
 
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I've never dressed my fraternal twin boys alike. My wife is a fraternal twin too (one of two girls), and she is ADAMANT that we not dress our kids in matching outfits. She doesn't even like them to wear the same thing in different colors (which I admit to sometimes wanting to do for ease of picking the outfits).

My main reason for not dressing them alike is because of the reaction of other people (strangers, mostly) who then tend to see my kids as "twins" instead of two different babies/toddlers. I've really noticed this to be true because in the winter months when my boys are bundled up they are usually wearing the same coat in different colors. When I walk down the street pushing them in the stroller, people stop and say, "wow! Twins!" Whereas, when it's warmer out and my kids aren't in matching jackets, I get more generalized comments like "what cuties!" and people often ask if they are twins, but don't assume. I just want my guys to be recognized as individuals first.

Mindfully mothering SIX kids (ages 4, 5, 7, 8, 11 & 11) in a small house with a lot of love.
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#16 of 19 Old 01-02-2005, 03:27 PM
 
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I'm another who doesn't dress them alike (fraternal girls). We got *tons* of duplicate outifts, too! With sleepers, I don't care quite as much and they probably have been in identical sleepers a few times but with day clothes, I care very much. For one thing, like lexbeach said, I want them to be seen as individuals first and twins a way distant second (or not at all!) and equally important for me, I don't want my babies to be seen as a "unit" and my 3 yr old to be the odd girl out, kwim?
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#17 of 19 Old 01-02-2005, 09:35 PM
 
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I like them to have their own clothing, but matching. For example, I buy my guys the same shirt, but in a different color. They don't always wear the same outfits, but if I feel inclined to, they certainly do co-ordinate. From time to time I had them dressed the same in the exact same outfit, but that was rare.
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#18 of 19 Old 01-04-2005, 08:43 AM
 
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I was glad to have clothing. Period. A mama of twins can never have enough onesies. I say give her the gift with confidence. Its a wonderful gift.

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#19 of 19 Old 01-04-2005, 05:30 PM
 
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Gender neutral onsies were really nice to have so that I could just put them on either child. I never really dressed mine alike unless we were taking pictures, and then I might put them in coordinating colors, or something like that. I'm sure she will appreciate anything you give her! Sleepers and onesies were invaluable to me at that age!
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