15 month old twins - how do you decompress? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 6 Old 01-07-2005, 09:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
AmyY's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,202
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I love my girls so much. We worked and fought for ten years to have them, and they are so much more wonderful than we ever dreamed they could be even in our most idealizing infertility moments. But I'm so tired, and so behind on everything, and constantly trying to stay a step ahead of them, keep them interested in things, etc etc etc, you get the picture.

Anyway I know you folks have been there or are there and I want to know what you do to release stress. I feel so guilty admitting I have any, since I went through so much to have them and since we are all doing so well after many health struggles in the beginning. My DH works a hugely stressful outside job and still helps out so much. My sainted MIL comes every day to help me and she's like a second mother to the girls, we all love her so much. My parents come visit and help every couple of months (they really help too!). With so much support I don't understand why I am struggling so much all of a sudden. I'm being totally supportive and wonderful with the girls but DH caught undeserved hell from me today and I hate that. I just feel ragged after treating him so badly, and he was so gracious to accept my apology but we both feel so bad.

I don't really want to ask this question on one of my mainstream twins boards because I know the advice I'll get will be to take some time away from the girls, like a weekend or even a week, stop co-sleeping and start CIO, stop nursing, etc etc etc. I can't imagine any of those things would help. I do need to know how to regroup though. I want to find a way to release the stresses of the day without anyone else, especially longsuffering DH, to catch the brunt of it.

Any tips from fellow-travellers? Thanks!
AmyY is offline  
#2 of 6 Old 01-07-2005, 11:35 PM
 
Proudmomoftwinsplusone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 682
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi there! It is pretty stressful keeping them out of trouble and entertained all day. I'm glad to know I am not the only one. My guys are 19 months and I seem to remember it getting stressful around 12 months or so. They became so active and into everything! I am also exhausted, even though I get 7 hours of sleep a nite (sometimes uninterrupted) and take naps with them.

My biggest stess reliever is a long, long hot bath after they fall asleep at nite. If they wake while I am in the tub, dh goes to comfort them.

I seem to remember at 15 months, my guys wanted me to entertain them every moment and it was exhausting. As time goes by, they start to entertain themselves and each other a little more.


I hope this helps!
Proudmomoftwinsplusone is offline  
#3 of 6 Old 01-08-2005, 03:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
AmyY's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,202
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks, that all does help. I had been thinking about trying out a hot bath but hadn't gotten the courage to try it - if they wake up they need to nurse back to sleep. I think I'll consider a way to work it into my routine periodically as time goes on.

It also helps to know that as the months pass they won't need me to entertain them quite so much. I love it but it really is every second they are awake right now.

Thanks.
AmyY is offline  
#4 of 6 Old 01-08-2005, 02:29 PM
 
1Plus2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Almost Heaven...
Posts: 1,401
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi, Amy. My girls are almost 25-months-old (how in the heck did *that* happen?!) and are a bundle of energy every day. I remember when they were so very little and people telling me "It will only get easier!" HA! They were easier when I could put them down and they would STAY THERE! LOL!!

I have a really tough time asking for any kind of help or admitting that I'm drowning. I also have a 4-year-old who was 27-months-old when her sisters were born. Even though family lives nearby I never had anyone come in to help. I can imagine how wonderful it must be for your MIL to help out so much!!

Within the past year or so I have been taking more and more time to myself. Little bits and pieces here and there really seem to help. The grocery store alone is actually a luxury! Go figure! I don't like to take huge chunks of time away from my children but I do enjoy an hour or two here and there. Those few alone moments do a world of good in helping recharge my spirit.

Karen - Mama to Haven (9/00) , Lillie & Faith (MZ - 12/02) and my first homebirthed baby, Willa (3/08)
1Plus2 is offline  
#5 of 6 Old 01-11-2005, 08:18 AM
 
sweetpeas's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Maryland
Posts: 634
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I never figured out an answer to your question, but I can tell you that you're not the only one. This past summer (when my girls were 12-18 mo (give or take) was by far the hardest stage we've hit so far!!! It's still not easy, but as the girls get more verbal & a better understanding of directions it *is* getting easier.

One thing that we've been building up to over the last several months is that on weekends dh will sometimes take the girls to his mom's house so that I have a block of time all to myself. I rarely use it as "me time", I usually use it to clean & such, but it does at least give me a few hours of time w/o them hanging on me, etc. From sometime last winter until just recently we drove the girls for their naps (it was the only way they would nap w/o a boob in thier mouth). So we started w/ dh driving them for some of their weekend naps which gave me an hour or two. Then he started driving them to his mom's while they napped (she lives about 45 min away) & keeping them there progressively longer. Now they're to the point that he can drive them down there during their nap (early afternoon) & keep them there until bedtime & they'll fall asleep on the ride home & we just carry them in & put them in their beds. So . . . when he does this (once every 2-3 weeks) I get an entire afternoon to myself. It does *wonders* & I don't feel guilty about it because the girls are getting to spend time with their daddy, grandmom & aunt Lynette (SIL lives w/ MIL so is usually there too). MIL's health is such that she can't do alot of helping but this gives her some time w/ them.
sweetpeas is offline  
#6 of 6 Old 01-19-2005, 02:06 AM
 
msrog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,301
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
nak

flylady says take 15 mins for yourself... i find i'm less grouchy if i take 15 minutes in the evening to work on a craft project.

and a nice long hot shower does wonders...
msrog is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off