Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Seattle Eastside
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What kind of environment are these kids coming from? If they are coming from an institutional environment or foster care (one ff is one thing, but if they have been placed multiple times, it's another), then to be honest with you I think it's more fair to the child to at least have some "alone time" with them. Granted, it's not like you will be able to center your attention on them full time because of your daughter, but I think sometimes it's best to make sure that you have time and freedom to really develop that one on one bond--and that's going to be really difficult with three kids.
Add into that potential complications from their care situation (which hopefully is very stable and not a factor)...and, well, to be honest with you as a mother of twins and an adoptee herslef I just couldnt' do it. I wouldn't mind adopting 2 kids the same age with a little time stagger inbetween (I actually know 2 people who did this). But I think an older baby adoptive child especially should not have to compete for your attention with 2 other kids right from the start. If they're in an institutional setting, then they might be used to that, but you want them to bond with you and NOT feel like you're in an institutional setting. Which I certainly felt like a lot of the time when my boys were in their first year--there was just SO much nitty-gritty care that it took me longer to attach to my boys because A) there was their sister to deal with and meet her needs and B) there were two of them that I had to get to know and C) sorting out the dynamics/needs of the triad of siblings as well.
I'm going to assume these kids kind of "know" each other too? Because if they don't you need to factor in helping them get comfortable/at ease with each other too, plus your daughter both ways and back.
I dunno. It just seems like a lot to take on all at once.
Is there any way you can stagger the timeline so you can have some time with one first, get them established in your household, and then adopt again? I have seen people do that, it is tough, but they ironically seem to have an easier time than those people I know who have adopted blood-relative twin siblings into a household with older kids.
YMMV, and if you really want to do this, I'm sure you can make it work. But since you were asking for other's views, that's my own personal one.