DD has a HUGE desire to be first in everything! Is it pecking order? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 03-12-2005, 02:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My dd is OBSESSED and even agressive when it comes to being first. she HAS to be the first to get dressed, to get in the van, for me to brush her hair, for me to hold her. Even to WALK IN THE HALLWAY! It has ruked our lives these days! And she gets SO angry when she is NOT first. SHe talks with a hurtful tone ect..
Trouble is, I think it is because lately, it seems everyone we meet ALWAYS asks "So who was born first?" UGH amd she looks at them like, please notice me, I was born too. It breaks my heart! Obviously DD in ? was not born first. ddT was but she does not gloat. In fact she has been really good about it all.

This has been reaking havoc in our lives right now tho.

What should I do?
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#2 of 5 Old 03-14-2005, 10:02 AM
 
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When people ask me who's older I say "they're twins, they were born at the same time" and leave it at that, in hopes that we will avoid this.

My dd1 is also like this (but at 4, she's not as extreme as you describe your dd). When it gets out of hand I take her aside and talk to her. I ask her how she feels right now and does she think that her sister might feel the same way? If she is in a mood and won't listen then I hold her back and keep her with me.

We also talk a lot about taking turns right now and waiting your turn as it's appropriate (usually while waiting in line to purchase something or at a red light). But not about being fair, life isn't fair and sometimes one girl is going to feel like she's getting short-changed, but maybe in a week the other will feel that way.
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#3 of 5 Old 03-14-2005, 01:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you Faythe. You make a good point about 'being fair' I have talked about being fair in the past. I will not talk about it anymore. You raise a really good point. I also like the idea of discussing the need for waiting your turn not in the heat of the moment, but at other times throught the day more often than I do now.

Great points.
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#4 of 5 Old 03-16-2005, 01:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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bump.................still a huge uprising issue in this house..................................
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#5 of 5 Old 03-16-2005, 06:33 PM
 
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Subscribing in case I need ideas for the future

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
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