What in the world was "He" thinking . . . :( - Mothering Forums
Parenting Multiples > What in the world was "He" thinking . . . :(
cdahlgrd's Avatar cdahlgrd 11:08 PM 03-25-2005
I asked God to give me a baby, but this is more than I can handle. 2 babies are headed my way in a few weeks and I am dreading it. Yes, I have some help lined up, but still.

With my 4 year old, I was depressed and exhausted beyond belief. How in the world am I supposed to deal with him and 2 new ones? I am so tired now, I just want to cry. I feel like I am slogging through concrete.

Some days I feel good and optimistic. Today, I can barely get off the couch.

Please tell me I can do this. I just don't know. I so hope these two aren't the high needs children that my first is. . . I couldn't possibly survive.

kesmith's Avatar kesmith 01:29 AM 03-26-2005
Hang in there Courtney! You;ll manage. I also worried alot that my twins
would be high needs like older dd (who was 5 when they were born).
But I was blessed with two "normal' needs babies! You may be too.
I'm glad you have lots of help lined up! Things do get easier....I noticed big
jumps in getting easier after the first few days, then around 3 months, 6 months (sitting!), nine months (crawling!), a year or so (more independent playing), and again recently at 18, when big sister sometimes takes
one twin off to her room to play. You can and will do it!
annettemarie's Avatar annettemarie 01:30 AM 03-26-2005
I don;t have a lot to say but wanted to send you hugs!
AmyY's Avatar AmyY 06:28 AM 03-26-2005
Ah the memories that post brings back! Lots of hugs to you, darlin! You're doing to do fine! Don't freak out at your own twinshock, it happens over and over in wave after wave, mine finally ended when they were about 8 months old. They're now 18 months and we're all still alive. You will be too.

Take care and more hugs to you.
susienjay's Avatar susienjay 03:17 AM 03-27-2005
You will be just fine. I had my twins with a 6 year old and 4 year old. My 4 yo was a high needs baby and I was so worried my twins would be. Only one is high needs. :LOL It will be a big adjustment but for me once I got past the newborn stage it has gotten easier. Some days are great and some days I'm totally exhausted.
Tigerchild's Avatar Tigerchild 03:54 AM 03-27-2005
It will be very hard, I'm not going to lie to you. There will be days where you will wonder if you're going to make it through. But you will! And eventually, you'll wonder what on earth you did with yourself BEFORE you had twins (in a good way).

One thing that I cannot encourage you enough to do is start building a support system NOW. I notice you live in Seattle...are you on the eastside? There are Moms of Multiples clubs all over the friggin' place around here. While it's true they tend to be havens for mainstream parenting DO NOT let that turn you off! These clubs are populated (esp. EMOMS, the one I'm a member of) by wonderful, kind, giving people who will be able to help you out with meals, someone to talk to, someone to help with laundry, ect. It is hard to accept help, esp. from people you don't really know, but you are giving them a wonderful opportunity if you do and you can always "pay it back" by helping out others at some later date. If you want to PM with contact info, if you're not on the Eastside I will try to find out the multiples club nearest you. And if you are on the eastside (I live in Redmond, on the Woodinville/Kirkland/Bothell side of things), then I would be happy to help out. I also would recommend a postpartum doula (esp. if you have relatives coming, for after they leave) if you can possibly afford one. My MIL stayed with us for almost 12 weeks after my boys were born, so I didn't end up using one, but I had 3 names and numbers just in case.

You can, and will, do this. You might need to carry a notebook with you for the first 6 weeks, so you can write down all the funny/crazy/memorable stuff that happens (because if you don't you might forget--I would've if my MIL hadn't given me that suggestion!). But you will make it through. Just keep it in the back of your mind that it's good to call in backup, and let people have the pleasure of being helpful and kind to others (you!). You will be blessed, and you will be a blessing. Trust me on this one.
MmeganW's Avatar MmeganW 01:58 PM 03-27-2005
I was right where you were 5 weeks ago. I had terrible postpartum with my first (who's 3.5) and was freaking out that I couldn't manage the twins. Try to believe me that it's a lot easier to adjust to having 3 kids than it was to adjust to having one. The shock of having a child the first time blew me away. Think of this: you know what to do with a baby and, yes, it's really hard to have to do everything twice when you have twins but at least it's stuff you've already done with your first.

My twins are now 5 weeks old and I'm tired but I'm managing. No baby blues this time around (no time for that!) and every day is easier. Now, if they would only sleep more than three hours at a time. :-)

You can do it.
msrog's Avatar msrog 03:05 AM 04-04-2005
Hugs to Courtney AND Megan! And look, Megan has even managed to get on the computer within the first 5 weeks... LOL

You'll make it, Mama! Remember that God does not give us more than we can handle. Just remember to ask for His help.
twopeasinpod's Avatar twopeasinpod 05:19 AM 04-04-2005
sent you a message...

cdahlgrd's Avatar cdahlgrd 08:08 PM 04-04-2005
Thanks everyone for your support! It is nice to know I'm not the only one in this boat.