Argh! Fighting twins! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 04-04-2005, 08:42 PM - Thread Starter
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I'm about to pull my hair out. My guys are just constantly making each other cry. If one has a toy, the other wants it and has a tantrum or grabs it out of his brother's hand. If each of them has a spoon, the one wants both and flips out if he doesn't get it. If I'm holding one, the other wants to be picked up even if he was happily engaged in something else previously. I'm about to lose my mind! Help!
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#2 of 4 Old 04-04-2005, 09:17 PM
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, mama. Sorry, it sucks.

We go through this a lot still, but it seems to be getting a little better lately. In our house if one twin has something and the other wants it, I'll ask if the twin who has the item if she wants to share it. Usually I'll get a big old head shaking "no" but I try. Then I'll try to divert the twin who wants the item's attention away and make a big deal about some other object. Usually her sister will drop the first item in question and they'll both get interested in the other thing (usually a book, or something they can both share).

Oh, and one of my girls is much better about sharing than the other. If she takes something from her sister, she almost always gives her something to replace the item--even without me asking.

If there's two of the same item and one twin has both of them, I'm a little more insistant that they share. I explain that she has two and sister has none and that she should share it. It's been working so far.

If they get in a knock-down-drag-out fight, then I just take the thing away completely and try to divert their attention away from it. I'm not sure how fair that is to the twin who had the item in the first place, but it tends to diffuse things a bit. Not sure how long that'll work either.

Good luck. You might find that they'll get better about sharing over time. I think mine are, but I may just be kidding myself.
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#3 of 4 Old 04-08-2005, 05:43 AM
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I know that of which you kvetch. My motto is four of everything. I have four kids, including a set of twins. When my twins were your age, I learned to stuff both hands on each twin full of things to play with.
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#4 of 4 Old 04-08-2005, 09:20 AM - Thread Starter
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Thanks for letting me know this is normal and you've BTDT! Honestly, sometimes I wonder if my guys are just WAY off base or if it's perfectly normal. I must have mommy amnesia because I just don't remember all this with my dd.....or maybe it's because there are 2 of them at the same time...who knows! lol I've not been myself in over 15 months now so what do I know?

Mamacita, thanks for the advice! I've been doing that lately too! :LOL It's just crazy at my place some days. My dd irritating the boys, the boys irritating her, she wants a toy they have or vice versa. It's just nuts some days. Hopefully John will get over his temper tantrums soon and everyone will be a little more 'mellow' so mommy doesn't feel like she's have nervous breakdowns every couple of minutes!
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