Gift for expecting twins?? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 04-05-2005, 03:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My good friend just found out she is having twins this October. She knows they will be fraternal, but doesn't know the genders yet. She is a nervous wreck, not very AP but I want to brain wash her...
Trying to come up with a congrtulations gift that is twins oriented, but would be useful -- not just some outfits. Books? Pregnancy massage? Something useful??

Thoughts?

Mama to Zach 6-18-04 & Naia 10-13-10 Partner to the sweetest DH. Loving our life afloat. TV Free!
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#2 of 12 Old 04-05-2005, 05:20 PM
 
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hmmmmm, not really twins oriented, but I would definately give her either a nice casserole, or some gift certificates to takeout. Offer to look after the babies so that she can sleep or have a shower. Books are great, but I don't know if she would have time to actually read them yk? The best gift that you can give her is to be there, for help or advice when she needs it.
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#3 of 12 Old 04-05-2005, 09:04 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boatbaby
My good friend just found out she is having twins this October. She knows they will be fraternal, but doesn't know the genders yet.
If she doesn't know the genders of her babies yet then she doesn't know if they are fraternal. I assume that her babies each have thier own amniotic sac, placenta and chorion (outer sac). Most people believe that identical twins have to share one of those to be identical and if they don't then they are fraternal. That is not true. It all depends on when the egg split...the earlier it splits the less the babies will share. If her twins are the same sex then she won't know if they are fraternal until they are born. Once they are born she should get their blood typed. If they share a blood type then she will have to have their DNA tested to know for sure. I know all of this because it is exactly what happened to me! My girls shared nothing in the womb and I was told they were certain to be fraternal because of that. When my OB told me that I questioned him and he agreed that it was "possible they are identical but highly unlikely". Actually, the statistic is 25-33% of identical twins DO NOT SHARE ANYTHING in the womb! My girls were born looking almost nothing alike! We went ahead and had their blood typed and they were the same so I ordered a DNA test and it came back that they are monozygotic (MZ - identical). A great book to get your friend on twins that has a chapter on how twins are formed (and where I learned all of this info) is called "Having Twins" by Elizabeth Noble. It's a must read!

Another great book to get her that is AP friendly is "Mothering Multiples". It is published by La Leche League and is also sold on their site (www.lalecheleague.org). If she is planning on nursing then a twin nursing pillow along with the book would be awesome!

Karen - Mama to Haven (9/00) , Lillie & Faith (MZ - 12/02) and my first homebirthed baby, Willa (3/08)
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#4 of 12 Old 04-05-2005, 09:14 PM
 
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I was going to ask how she knows their fraternal too. If she doesn't know the sex yet, then she doesn't know for sure.

I second "Mothering Multiples" and "Having Twins". Also, Barbara Luke's book "When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads: Proven Guidelines for a Healthy Multiple Pregnancy". If she's a nervous wreck, you could suggest that she find a local Mothers of Multiples club in her area, if there is one. I was a nervous wreck too & I went to a few of my MOMs club events while I was pregnant. It helped me a lot to hear other women's stories about having twins and seeing women handling 2 babies at once.

Also, you can pass along Karen Gromada's website at: http://www.karengromada.com . It might be helpful to her.
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#5 of 12 Old 04-05-2005, 09:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the ideas

I don't know anything about any of this -- but she had invetro fertilization. They implanted three fertilized eggs -- two took. So she told me that's why she knows they are fraternal but since she is only 12 weeks does not yet know the sex.

Does that make sense?

Mothering Multiples sounds like a great idea at this stage. I wish I could be there for her but we are across the country from each other!

I welcome any more good ideas! Thanks!!

Mama to Zach 6-18-04 & Naia 10-13-10 Partner to the sweetest DH. Loving our life afloat. TV Free!
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#6 of 12 Old 04-05-2005, 09:54 PM
 
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It makes sense to me. I don't know much about IVF, but maybe there's a possibility that one egg took & it split? I don't know. I know a woman who had IVF, two eggs took and one split so she had triplets. Yikes.

I think a good gift at this stage would be the books.

The Barbara Luke book was my favorite book on twin pregnancies. Most of the books out there scared the pants off me because they focused so much on what could go wrong. Dr. Luke's book wasn't as scary as the rest. And she had a good diet plan.

Good luck to your friend.
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#7 of 12 Old 04-06-2005, 04:17 AM
 
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I had IVF. My girls shared nothing in the womb and all the docs said they were fraternal. I, having read up on the subject, knew they were talking nonsense. As the PP says there is still at least a 25% chance they are monozygotic and only a DNA test done after birth can tell for sure. She should prepare herself to get LOTS more misinformation, LOL. In our case, the girls looked completely different from the get-go including different hair and skin color so we knew they are dizygotic.

With my IVF we transferred 3 embryos too, but it's possible for only one to take and then split. One of my docs told me about a case where two embryos resulted in quads - both split after transfer!

I second the info on Dr. Luke's book, the Elisabeth Noble book, and Mothering Multiples.

Dr. Luke's website is www.drbarbaraluke.com. A great gift if you want to get pricey is to actually buy her Dr. Luke's consulting service. It cost me about $250.00 I think two years ago and it was worth much more. She is a gem, that Dr. Luke. She even called me in the hospital during one of my many stays.

You might also get her a subscription to Mothering magazine. It's a great magazine and resource as well.

Congrats!
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#8 of 12 Old 04-06-2005, 04:46 AM
 
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Definitely the Barbara Luke book & Mothering mag - then a massage/lunch afternoon, where you may brainwash her after she is all relaxed....also a cute cloth diaper pair that will get her addicted Then perhaps a pp doula for the afternoon....hmmm, I hope you are rich. lol

My twins were a genetic gift from my maternal side. Two different people, in different womb-rooms, born on the same day.

Maya
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#9 of 12 Old 04-06-2005, 04:43 PM
 
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IMHO Dr Luke's book is the only reason I carried my frat twins to full-term. And again IMHO it's very possible that she does know her two are fraternal because with IVF you tend to get VERY early ultrasounds and can be fairly confident about something like that. That being said, I have a friend who had IVF and the egg DID split, resulting in ID boys.
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#10 of 12 Old 04-07-2005, 11:04 AM
 
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A friend from work asked me this same question, (he's also far from his cousin), and after thought I suggested he get her two Maya slings and an instructional video. He did, and it went over really well! Now he's planning to get Maya wraps as his standard baby gift, LOL.

I also liked the idea of matching cloth diapers. If you get pocket diapers (I love Starbunz for their cuteness!), she can either use them as cloth diapers, or (until she's thoroughly brainwashed) as cute covers over her disposables to contain up-the-back poos.
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#11 of 12 Old 04-07-2005, 01:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I sent her Mothering Multiples and Barbara Luke's book this morning.
I KNOW she won't CD. I am struggling to convince her to BF even, like I said she's pretty mainstream and she's a hard nut to crack, but I am trying!
Thanks to all for suggestions!!

Mama to Zach 6-18-04 & Naia 10-13-10 Partner to the sweetest DH. Loving our life afloat. TV Free!
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#12 of 12 Old 04-08-2005, 06:17 AM
 
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Well, you could always tell her that BF is really best for her childs brain and immune system. Its true and most mamas want that for their child.

You could also give her THE WOMANLY ART OF BREASTFEEDING to help her decide.

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