I need some input...what would you do? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 04-18-2005, 12:25 PM - Thread Starter
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I would love to get some input on what to do about Lillie and Faith and to wean or not to wean during this pregnancy. I had really wanted to allow them to selfwean but now that this 4th baby is a reality I go back and forth between what I want to do. I have already begun nightweaning which is going fairly well. Lillie has stopped waking every 2 hours at night but now wakes at 5:00 a.m. like clockwork. Our deal is to not nurse until the sun is up and 5:00 is a full hour before sunrise. She goes back to sleep but I'm wondering when she'll totally stop that. She's also waking often for the morning nursing marathon after I let her nurse the first time. That's another thing we're working on. Faith is doing great over all! She's had a couple of nights here and there when she wakes in the night but otherwise is sleeping until 8:00 or later! I've noticed that if they skip their nap that they wake more during the night.

So, back to my dilemma. Lillie is a crack addict when it comes to nursing. She wants to nurse so often during the day! She is no where near selfweaning and I don't think when my supply drops or switches to colostrum that she'll even give it a second thought. If they were down to only once or twice a day I don't think I'd consider weaning them but on the other hand I don't think I could handle Lillie's nursing demands and a newborn.

I borrowed "Adventure's In Tandem Nursing" from one of my LLL co-Leaders and it's a great book but is confusing me more. I guess I thought it would be full of things cheering me on (which it is!) but it also has lots of thoughts on why it's okay to wean.

So...what do you think you would do? I'm not looking for you all to give me my answer, I'm just wanting some input to add to the craziness already cluttering my head. :LOL The girls will be days away from turning 3 when this baby is born.

Karen - Mama to Haven (9/00) , Lillie & Faith (MZ - 12/02) and my first homebirthed baby, Willa (3/08)
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#2 of 5 Old 04-18-2005, 08:52 PM
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Weening is such a hard decision to make. When I got pregnant I had planned on nursing ds through the pregnancy, but when I found out it was twins I decided I just could not do it. Jackson was nursing every hour during the day and most nights too, I thought it would be imposible to ween him. He seemed so dependent on it still and I really had wanted him to ween himself. I had really hoped when my milk changed he would ween, but he did not care at all.

I started with just trying to distract him durring the day and giving him other things that he liked instead of nursing. For a little while he drank a lot of ovaltine, but I was in so much pain nursing him that I just could not handle it every hour. It was acctually much easier than I thought to get down to just nap and bed times. It took about a month to get there, which I thought was really good. It was really easy to tell when he would move on and when he would lose it if I did not nurse him. Getting rid of nap and bed times were a little harder, but once my dh got him to sleep the first time by himself it has been pretty easy since.

To keep nursing or not is such a hard decision and I would suggest that you at least try to cut them back to a point that is more comfortable for you. Look to the future when the baby is here and try to figure out how you want it to be and start working on it now. Maybe they can still nurse a little during the day, but not at night and not to go to sleep? Or maybe getting them to that point will lead to them weening. It seems overwhelming to try to cut back or ween, but once you make the decision they just seem to understand and go with it. I think it was about 4 months from when we started cutting back to now when he just nurses once every couple days. I have been going on for awhile here, I just went through this and I know how hard it is, I hope I was of some help.
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#3 of 5 Old 04-20-2005, 02:04 PM
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Tristan was only 16 months when my twins were born and he did want to start nursing again like a newborn. But that phase quickly passed and he learned quickly that there were limits to when he could breastfeed. He was not ready to wean and we tandemed with all three for 14 months. If you do not feel like your girls are ready to wean but are worried about what happens when the baby comes, you might just want to cross that bridge when you get there. At almost 3 your girls are certainly even more capable of learning limits. I doubt limiting nursings would be any more difficult than weaning, adn you have the added benefit of continuing to allow them to nurse if they need it.
There is no right or wrong answer. Deep inside if the struggle is likely to be equal (meanign the struggle to set limits and the struggle to wean) at the end would you rather your dd's be able to nurse or would you rather be done.
You have every right to make the decision to be done nursing. Your dd's have been very lucky to have been able to nurse this long.
I made the decision to wean Tristan when he was 30 months old, he was ready and it was pretty painless. I am very glad we have weaned and I dont feel guilty (but I have had my moments where I did).
You might also just start out by continuing to set limits as you alredy are and see where that takes you. Make decisions about weaning as you go rather than ahead of time.
Good luck,
From a mom who has both nursed three at once, and who has felt the need to wean a 2 year old rather than allow for full child led weaning.
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#4 of 5 Old 04-22-2005, 11:04 AM
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hi karen! first of all, congrats on the new little one.

i was so happy to see your post... i posted about this when i first found out i was pg... my boys are a year younger than your girls... they'll be two when the new bean gets here and the whole "nursing like a newborn" phenomenon that everyone talks about really scares me when i don't have enough boobies to go around! :LOL i've really been adamant about CLW, but i didn't expect to get pg so soon, and i confess it threw me for a loop.

we're setting limits here too. we night-weaned at about 18 months as they were super restless all night. they were totally ready for it and adapted to the new routine after a couple fussy nights, so i felt okay about it. some days they want to nurse all the time... others they don't ask until naptime or bedtime. they always are brought into our bed around 5 a.m. for snuggling/nursing until they wake up for the day around 7. so i guess what i've been trying to do is imagine how those times of day will be with the baby and how i can adjust their routine now so that when baby gets here it's not a huge shock. first off, since they were about a year, we have ALWAYS tandem nursed. if one is having "boo" the other's gotta be having it too. so lately i've been making a point to nurse one at a time while distracting the other and explaining that it'll be his turn next. they aren't happy about it, but they're going to have to learn to take turns at the tap so
hopefully in a few months they'll be used to it. i've also been cutting them off early, like unlatching them and saying, okay, we're all done! more later! anticipating that in the future, new bean might be interrupting our nursing sessions and i don't want that to be a huge deal either. i come back in a few minutes and offer to let them finish up... half the time they're busy with something else already.

honestly, i don't want to wean them... they're not ready and neither am i. i really appreciate being able to nurse them when they're crabby or upset, especially now that i'm so exhausted a lot of the time. we just got over a horrible bout of the stomach flu and i really don't know how we would have survived without breastfeeding. it just reminded me how important it still is to them.

so anyway! that's where we're at... i also hang out at the Pregnant CLW's thread here for support and info: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=269172

and mamadawg very kindly provided me with this link here for more info: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/apmultiples/

good luck with whatever you decide!
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#5 of 5 Old 04-23-2005, 11:53 PM
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I just love love the AP Multiples list, it's so helpful. Hi, Micah and Jonah's mama, I didn't know you were also an MDC mama!

Joline, you are my hero. I feel like saying something I *hate* having other people say to me: "I thought I had *my* hands full!" I get really sick of hearing that, but I thought it when I read your post. You are awesome, Mama!

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
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