Twin Development Uniquely Different? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 05-12-2005, 12:17 AM - Thread Starter
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I've noticed that my 15-month-old b/g twins are not doing the same things that other 15-month-olds enjoy, and I wonder if its due to their twinness & if other people have noticed the same thing.

For example, they haven't bonded with any of their toys, haven't turned any of them into "pals". Could that be b/c they have a human playmate 24/7?

They're also very physical. While they'll sit & "read" books, they really love to dance, wrestle and climb. I'm guessing part of that might have to do with how I play with them - it's far easier for me to engage them simultaneously by roughhousing than by focusing on a little toy.

If I had one child, I'd probably expect him/her to shadow me, and would be able to run errands and model more mommy-type behaviors. With two, though, I have to keep them safe first & foremost, and that eliminates some of those opportunities.

Their language isn't particularly advanced, although they jabber extensively and make their wishes known. But I'm not doing as my father did & practicing words with them day & night. I don't have the energy & wouldn't be able to keep their attention.

What I'm trying to get at is, I don't think my twins are under as much pressure to communicate with and conform to adult behavior. Instead we've adapted to them & become more child-like ourselves. It has good & bad aspects, but there it is.

Has anyone else noticed a similar phenomenon?
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#2 of 5 Old 05-12-2005, 02:48 AM
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But my dynamic is different. I had my twins on "round two". I think the things you are describing is more a function of personalities (except for the language part--I think the slower outside language development is relatively common for twins) than twin-ness. Not every toddler will sit and read books, and there's a lot of only-child toddlers that don't allow mom to get a whole lot of adult type stuff done around then.

If it worries you, maybe try and arrange some regular alone time with each kid. I switched my grocery shopping schedule around a bit, so that I could take out one child at a time--it's a treat for me AND them that way. But we also do special mama-and-me stuff at diaperchanging, or when one gets up early from nap, and at more scheduled times. I found that when juggling 3 I have to be on more of a schedule than the anti-schedule I was on with my first.
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#3 of 5 Old 05-12-2005, 08:23 AM
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I agree with Kitty that it's more of a personality thing than a twin thing. Honestly my kids enjoy all of the above LOL. They love to rough house together or with me, but they've also become little mimics recently, really using their dolls & play kitchen and such to copy things that I do (including putting their baby's in time out & yesterday Lexie was giving her baby "ABC num nums" which is my current way of letting them nurse for just a few seconds when I don't have time (or patience LOL) for a full nurse, they get to nurse for the length of time that I sing the ABC song, then we're done).

All kids develop at their own pace and language has a very broad range of normal. I've also heard that twins are "delayed" but since my kids, at 2, are speaking in complete sentences, I can at least say that it's not necessarily the case. I'm not sure what you mean by practicing words, all I have ever done is to just talk to them throughout the general course of the day & we've always sung in the car quite abit (when they were tiny it was a way of letting them know I was still nearby since they couldn't see me, then it became a means of distraction, now it's just fun for all of us). One thing that I think is important is to give them correct words. I have a friend who, when her kids give something a name, SHE starts using that word for the item too. IMO that's not fair to the kid because it doesn't give them a chance to learn the correct word. So, when my kids called all animals by their sounds I didn't "argue" with them, but when they'd point to a sheep & say "baa baa" I'd say "that's right, a sheep!" At some point the animal sound/animal name connection just "clicked" and they went from calling all animals by their sounds to calling most by their names w/in a very short period (& by now call them all by their names) I think my friend's 3 yr old still calls a dog a "woof woof" but how's he supposed to learn differently if SHE calls it that now too.

Anyway . . .I think as with singletons, different kids have different interests at different times, just go with it & don't stress about it
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#4 of 5 Old 05-12-2005, 06:17 PM
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Definitely a personality thing. Both of my girls (all of them actually) were very much in love with their special toy by 15 months. Their play style at that age was very middle of the road - some days they would scale the furniture, other days they would page through books, most days they did a little of both.

The language thing, it's not a big deal as long as you model the correct pronounciation and grammar and all that. Some delay is normal, since they do reinforce their bad habits, so try not to worry about it.
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#5 of 5 Old 05-12-2005, 06:21 PM
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One thing I have noticed, though, is that they never had an imaginary friend. I assume that's because they never needed one - their twin was always there.
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