Thanks ladies, I feel so much better having heard from you and knowing that I'm already doing what you've suggested. It is absolutely heartbreaking, but it is getting better. I am determined to get out with 3 yo twice a week, once to library for story/craft adn a play date or whatever else I can think of. But it always means double slinging which is already getting tiresome and shoulder challenging, but still worth it to me to see him happy.
I'm so glad you guys are here and alive to tell!!! THANKS!!