So here are question...what kind of twins do you have and how do you dress them?
My Mom was very vigilant about us being different and having our own identities. She made the principle of our elementary school sign a contract stating we would never be in the same classroom together - to prevent us from being treated as a unit rather than two separate people. For special events (like getting our picture taken) she would dress us in nearly alike outfits, in different colors. Every other time we wore whatever.
I have to say I disagree with dressing twins alike (though I do sympathize with the fact that it may be easier on Mama to do so). My twin sis and I are VERY alike in many ways, have shared memories, etc - but also as different as night and day quite literally. There was still and is still a lot of subtle but very effective pressure to measure up to the other twin. No matter how dissimilar they are, people will always see them as a single unit to some extent, which means on some level you end up trying to be alike to measure up to expectations. It's the ultimate sibling rivalry, and the ultimate loving relationship all in one.
Anywho. In my opinion, it's cute but a bad idea. Dressing twins alike encourages them and other people to think of them as one.
Mooooom! to DS (1/05) and DSS (11/05). TTC our "ours" after VR on 10/12.
My two daughters are night and day also. There individuality is not a question at all, in fact what we try to hold onto is their special bond of being twins. I find my daughters tell everyone about their twin sister when we are out with only one. They are 8 years old now, Eliza is her own very strong person, Emma is a wild creature and she is in no way "one" with her sister.
I know that I have heard of women saying they don't have pictures of just one child alone. My daughters however go on play dates alone, they have different friends, different classes, different likes and strengths. They have a wonderfull bond that is so special and it is something to be proud of and something to cherish. Dressing in the same clothes in no way takes away their different personalities, Emma even stands differently then her sister. My daughters in fact ask to be dressed alike when we go out most days so that they get attention from others for their special bond. Often times we dress my youngest daughter and my niece to match, we find it alot of fun to see the heads turn as we walk by.
My niece had trouble when she was two she called my daughters the "emma's" but I realy haven't had trouble with anyone since that time. I will keep an eye out for what you spoke about but as of now we have done well. I have found alot of books on twins and we seem to be developing a good balance so far on cherishing the bond and nurturing the individuals.
Sometimes clothes are just clothes, and we are just having fun with the gift we were given
As they've gotten a tad bit older, they really are more different than they are alike! I now get asked "How far apart are they?" far more often than "Are they twins?" So now I enjoy dressing them identically from time to time! Of course, now that I want to dress them identically on occassion, I can't because they are in two totally different size ranges! Ethan is in the big baby/toddler section and Anthony is still very much in infant sizes! Blah!
Unless we are going somewhere nice (not to the grocery or something plain like that), I don't worry at all about choosing matching or coordinating outfits. IF I dress them at all, that is! In this heat, they spend a lot of time in just diapers and a pair of shorts for naptime (since they've mastered aplix recently!).
I don't remember my brothers ever asking to dress identically or even asking to coordinate. They are twin brothers, without a doubt, and they are very cose. But they are also very very unique and haven't really ever showed much desire to be similar simply for similarity's sake.
Originally Posted by hsvmom
As they've gotten a tad bit older, they really are more different than they are alike! I now get asked "How far apart are they?" far more often than "Are they twins?" So now I enjoy dressing them identically from time to time!
LMAO!!! That just it isn't it! I remember when my daughters were babies and I didn't have the time or the energy to care what they wore as long as it was clean. I often had one baby in a sleeper because of some cloth diaper leak and the other would be in an outfit still. No matter what though we would always get at least two or three people come up to talk to us though and no one missed that they were twins. Now that they are bigger we all get hurt, especialy my Liz when people ask how far apart my kids are in age. Emma is so cute she always chimes in and says I am a whole one minute older then my TWIN sister.
|my two daughters are not twins and frequently insist on wearing matching outfits. They are 22 months apart|
As they get older it will definately be their choice (even if we have 2 outfits the same there's nothing that says they have to wear them the same day). My brother was dating a woman who has 5 yr old dz twin girls & from age 3 or so they (the kids) INSISTED on dressing exactly the same, so I think it just depends on the kid & as long as we follow their lead there isn't a hard & fast rule about always/never dressing them the same.
Although dressing them alike may have contributed to strangers treating them as a unit, it is nearly impossible for anyone that knows them to do so because of their differing personalities. They are very much individuals, and have always been treated as individuals by myself, my dh, our families, and our friends (other than the very very early days, when we cared for them as a unit for sheer survival, LOL.)
That is, when I can even convince them to wear that. When I can't, well their birthday suits are not identical.
Otherwise, when they were infants they had I think two matching footies; a couple of matching dresses that were gifts; and then a couple of things that were the same outfit in different colors.
To me, it just looks odd to see them dressed identically.
At this point I don't think they have any identical outfits. The other day at the park, someone asked my husband if they were identical. He said, no of course not, can't you see, one is "stripes" and one is "surf's up" (which were the footies they had on at that time).
However, sometimes they do fight over the same item. So maybe eventually they will decide to get some matching stuff.
still not my twin daughters lol
We love to dress the kids alike, my sister and I buy our clothes together and when we go out all of the kids are dressed the same. My youngest Ellanor that day didn't have the same outfit since it didn't come in her size but we did our best see for yourself
hehe i just had to share how cute they were at the Aquarium last week
Originally Posted by inezyv
This thread is interesting to me, because my two daughters are not twins and frequently insist on wearing matching outfits. They are 22 months apart. Do twins ever request to dress alike, too? Is this common or uncommon?
For a while they went through a phase where they had to match. If I changed one girl's clothes the other would cry and take off all of her clothes. That lasted from about 12 months until 30 months. That's when they started picking out their own clothes. They would negotiate in front of the dresser for the longest time. These days they do dress the same about 1/2 of the time, but I'd say that only 1/2 of it is planned, the rest of the time it's coincidental.
When I'm shopping or sewing they always have input, so we'll have to see what happens. With their summer dresses I had them pick out the fabric. Mandy picked first, and when Emma came over the first thing she asked me was what did Mandy pick? She then chose the same fabrics in a different color for two dresses and the same exact fabric for two others.
And regarding the younger sibling thing - Olivia does occasionally ask where her matching dress is, lol!
Oh, yeah, forgot to add, my girls are frat, very, very frat. The last few times we have been out people think that Olivia and Emma are the twins! One has straight blonde hair and blue eyes, the other wavy brown hair and brown eyes. They also have very different face and head shapes. Ironically they have always been within 1/4" and 1/2 lb of each other in size, though.
only alike on holidays in outfits purchased by family - and that's only happened twice thus far
otherwise, its a mishmash of unisex and an occasional dress (easier to fit cloth dipe and change) lol
DH's brother is getting married this week, so they will be in matching whit oxfords and blue khakis just to confuse the hell out of people
What's really funny is I've had people actually ask me if they're twins...sometimes I wanna reply with "nope I picked the other one off the side of the road and he just happened to look just like him" LOL
* For new twin families I highly reccomend buying identical shoes for two reasons: 1)you double your chances of finding a pair when only one child is going to where shoes.
2) when both children are wearing shoes they won't fuss over which child gets to wear which shoes.
Now, they have one outfit (a gift) that matches. Their "matching" outfits now consist of wearing the same color t-shirts. Ironically, my SIL has boys 18 months apart that she dresses identically all the time. I think she likes people asking if they're twins!
I don't think it's wrong or bad to dress them alike. Yes, they are 2 separate people, but that does not mean that they will be harmed in any way by dressing them alike. I am doing it more now simply because they are at the point where I allow them to pick out their clothes and often, they pick out the same thing.
It might be fun for mom although I can't really see how it is easier (if one gets messy do you change both?). I always wanted any attention for my twins to be based on who they were individually - not what they looked like as a unit. And I hope that they will be able to define themselves independently - not as a function of who they are vis a vis their twin.
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