Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Seattle Eastside
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Why are you so afraid of giving each child one on one time?
Are you *sure* that you don't honor the "twin unit" over the individual child?
How will you respond when an individual child cries to you for one-on-one time, will you still make her wait for her sister to be included?
How did you get over your guilt at not including DS in everything that you do with the girls?
I think you probably need to stop thinking about it, and just do it. It will seem weird at first, but I think it's good for you and the kids. At least, that's the impression I get from talking with adult twins. And hey, if the children get upset, then you can wait awhile before trying again, or wait until they ask.
But personally, I think you are being emotionally stymied by the "twin package" even if you think of them as individuals.
I dunno, I guess my view is colored by the fact that I cherish alone time with each of my three, I am equally protective of it with each child. Personal preference, but the kids are very protective with their alone time with mama (and daddy) now too, and we have very few jealousy/rivalry issues in our house.
My kids are still young yet, so I'm not claiming a causal relationship there yet, though.