OMG! Twins can be tough to raise....help me please - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 08-15-2005, 05:09 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have been working so hard on helping my daughter Emma. She needs to be held back a grade and has had a tough time making friends. We had sleepover with a friend for Emma and one for Liz they both only played with Elizabeth and even went as far as to shut Emma out of the room and refuse to sleep near her.

Eliza is doing well in school she can read at a grade 5 level, makes friends easily and keeps them the same way. Poor Emma was living in Liz's shadow and I didn't want that for her. I have been working hard to set up friends for Emma, sending her alone on playdates and sleepovers. I gave Emma a summerwork book made for grade two students so she could succeed like her sister. All the time we are trying to not make a big deal out of it and also give the other three kids attention and special time.

ELizabeth is not happy though. She is freaking out and pretending she can't do her grade three summer workbook, she has fits over Emma going without her. I have sat down with Liz and told her how sad Emma was and how we are trying to enable her to be more confident and happy. we talk about how Emma has a hard time and how she needs a little help getting things done. I don't know what else to do. Elizabeth has said she wants to go back into grade two with her sister(even though they aren't allowed to share a class).

How do I do right by my twins? I know Emma needs this attention to help her get on the right track in life but I fear for Elizabeth now.

:
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#2 of 3 Old 08-15-2005, 01:26 PM
 
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Fear of the unknown is a normal part of life for all of us. Children and adults alike.
I would try to remain positive and firm that everything will be Ok for Eliza. Once she starts school I bet she will feel more comfortable without her sister around than she imagines.
I think you are right on about keeping their playdates and sleep overs separate. Especially regarding what happenned last time.
It also sounds like she is picking up the "Emma needs extra help" vibe and wants to find a way to show you she might want a little "extra help" too.
I am sure you are finding ways to show her that she is special as well. But as the focus is on her sister right now, even if you make an effort to show she is special too, she will still pick up on it. So dont think that this is some serious sign that she is missing out on love etc. . . It sounds like normal behavior under the circumstances.
I know this is a big decision for you and you are concerned how it will effect both of your daughters. But from what you say they are already used to being in different classrooms. The overall difference will probably be pretty pretty minor when it comes to day to day life. They just dont know what to expect.
IT sounds to me like you are really doing a wonderful job and I have confidence that things will turn out well after a very short period of adjustment.
Good luck
Joline
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#3 of 3 Old 08-16-2005, 05:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you so much! I have been feeling so bad lately. Your post really made me feel better.
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