OMG! Twins can be tough to me please - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Thread Tools
#1 of 3 Old 08-15-2005, 05:09 AM - Thread Starter
Diane~Alena's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: planet earth
Posts: 365
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have been working so hard on helping my daughter Emma. She needs to be held back a grade and has had a tough time making friends. We had sleepover with a friend for Emma and one for Liz they both only played with Elizabeth and even went as far as to shut Emma out of the room and refuse to sleep near her.

Eliza is doing well in school she can read at a grade 5 level, makes friends easily and keeps them the same way. Poor Emma was living in Liz's shadow and I didn't want that for her. I have been working hard to set up friends for Emma, sending her alone on playdates and sleepovers. I gave Emma a summerwork book made for grade two students so she could succeed like her sister. All the time we are trying to not make a big deal out of it and also give the other three kids attention and special time.

ELizabeth is not happy though. She is freaking out and pretending she can't do her grade three summer workbook, she has fits over Emma going without her. I have sat down with Liz and told her how sad Emma was and how we are trying to enable her to be more confident and happy. we talk about how Emma has a hard time and how she needs a little help getting things done. I don't know what else to do. Elizabeth has said she wants to go back into grade two with her sister(even though they aren't allowed to share a class).

How do I do right by my twins? I know Emma needs this attention to help her get on the right track in life but I fear for Elizabeth now.

Diane~Alena is offline  
#2 of 3 Old 08-15-2005, 01:26 PM
johub's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,163
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Fear of the unknown is a normal part of life for all of us. Children and adults alike.
I would try to remain positive and firm that everything will be Ok for Eliza. Once she starts school I bet she will feel more comfortable without her sister around than she imagines.
I think you are right on about keeping their playdates and sleep overs separate. Especially regarding what happenned last time.
It also sounds like she is picking up the "Emma needs extra help" vibe and wants to find a way to show you she might want a little "extra help" too.
I am sure you are finding ways to show her that she is special as well. But as the focus is on her sister right now, even if you make an effort to show she is special too, she will still pick up on it. So dont think that this is some serious sign that she is missing out on love etc. . . It sounds like normal behavior under the circumstances.
I know this is a big decision for you and you are concerned how it will effect both of your daughters. But from what you say they are already used to being in different classrooms. The overall difference will probably be pretty pretty minor when it comes to day to day life. They just dont know what to expect.
IT sounds to me like you are really doing a wonderful job and I have confidence that things will turn out well after a very short period of adjustment.
Good luck
johub is offline  
#3 of 3 Old 08-16-2005, 05:09 PM - Thread Starter
Diane~Alena's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: planet earth
Posts: 365
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thank you so much! I have been feeling so bad lately. Your post really made me feel better.
Diane~Alena is offline  

Quick Reply
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off