Anyone else paranoid that they'll have twins AGAIN? - Mothering Forums
 
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#1 of 23 Old 10-09-2005, 11:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Because I am majorly paranoid.

We just started ttc, and even though I didn't take any fertility drugs this time (I used clomid last time), I am completely freaked out about the possibility of having twins again. I know that logically there is no reason for me to be worrying about this; there are no twins in my family and statistically I have a very small chance of having twins.

BUT,

A couple days ago, as I was getting ready to leave the house to go and get inseminated (we do it at the doctor's office), I was talking to my mom on the phone and she cracked open an egg and. . . it had TWO yolks!

And everywhere I go, people say, "What if you have twins again?"

And last night, after my second insemination, Lukas (my two-year-old) said to me (not knowing that we're trying to get pregnant), "Babies are going to come out of your belly. . . a girl baby and a boy baby."

I'm not really that superstitious, but all these little things are starting to make me obsessed with the idea. I wonder if it's sort of like a PTSD of having twins. . . obsessing over the possibility--however slim--of having twins again.

Anyone else experienced this??

Lex

Mindfully mothering SIX kids (ages 5, 6, 8, 9, 11 & 11) in a small house with a lot of love.
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#2 of 23 Old 10-09-2005, 12:19 PM
 
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In a way, yes. Until fairly recently, the thought of an oops baby literally made me break out into a cold sweat because of that possibility (even though it's ridiculous for me, since my guys were MZ, it's not like I popped out 2 eggs!). There were two times that my period was late and I actually was throwing up from fear-reaction.

A couple of years out, I don't feel quite so strongly. Maybe it's because my boys are mostly self-weaned, getting on to potty trained, more independant, and life in our house is a lot more fun?

I think I would struggle if it happened again, to the point that I'd probably have to go back to talk therapy for the depression. But at the same time, I know that I'd be able to do it, KWIM? Maybe it would be easier in the second round because I already had to adjust once.

But yeah, I can understand the paranoia. I would try really hard to set it aside--but man, sometimes when you are TTC you're on a major rollercoaster anyway, it's not too suprising you're latching on to this.
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#3 of 23 Old 10-09-2005, 01:55 PM
 
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I wish I would. I honestly can't imagine having one at a time. What would I do with the other boob?!
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#4 of 23 Old 10-09-2005, 03:18 PM
 
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I had a dream that I was having twins a couple years before these were born, so we weren't supprised. My mom recently had a dream about triplet girls, and aedon talks about our 3 girls next time. (acutally I think I started out pregnant with three, but lost one).

Sigh, I am resigned to the fact that I might have another multiple pregnancy, even though these were identical. I am not sure how I feel about that, it depends on how much sleep I had the night before!!

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#5 of 23 Old 10-09-2005, 03:47 PM
 
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Well maybe since you are on clomid the statistics don't apply to you, but supposedly once you have twins you are 5 times as likely to have them again. I think if you don't want them you won't get them. I haven't even given birth yet, but I told dh if I like having twins then I want to pray for another set! :LOL When we were TTC this time I prayed for identical twin boys. We don't want to know the sexes, but if these turn out to be boys, then I might pray for my girls!!

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#6 of 23 Old 10-09-2005, 04:07 PM
 
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I just found out yesterday that we are expecting baby # 5 and I wouldn't mind another set of twins. Multiples run rampant in my family. I have 2 sets of twin siblings and my grandmother was one of three surviving quads born in 1901. Since we have 4 boys we are always getting asked "Are you going to try for a girl" and DH always replies that we would probably have triplet boys. Suddenly that thought is no longer as funny as it used to be. Last year I would have been in tears at the though of another set of twins but I was still a little punch drunk from having 4 babys in just over 2 years. Now that the twins are almost 3 I am ready for another go at babyhood.
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#7 of 23 Old 10-09-2005, 04:16 PM
 
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Lex, didn't your good friend have surprise twin boys? Is that coloring your thinking a little bit?

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#8 of 23 Old 10-09-2005, 11:07 PM
 
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First of all...... :......on ttc again!!! I wish you lots and lots of luck and tons of .

And as for being afraid of having twins again I can honestly say I'm not. I would probably be nervous at first but would very much welcome two more.

Karen - Mama to Haven (9/00) , Lillie & Faith (MZ - 12/02) and my first homebirthed baby, Willa (3/08)
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#9 of 23 Old 10-13-2005, 12:58 PM
 
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Oh Lex I can see why the double yok and your sons comment could make you have crazy thoughts!!! I am not superstitious either but man some things just make ya think huh?? But I guess that is just it - the thinking. All the thinking thinking thinking can make you nuts!!

I hear ya about having twins on the brain though. I swear right now if I were to get preg I would have twins. I don't know what it is but I FEEL like my body is telling me something! I am not currently TTC. But this feeling is so strong that I feel like if I want twins again I better get preg now while my body is producing twins again. And the really weird things is mine were MZ. So it's not even likely!! I am bf'ing my 15 mos twins but know that I have just started ovulating again. And ovulating like crazy! And this feeling is the same I had when my ds was 9 mos old and I started ovlating again while bf him and it was this same time of year and I got preg with my girls and I swear I am having dejavu (sp?)!!! I mean it is to the point where I am telling my dh we better not even have sex unless he wants 2 more! I just feel like a walking baby maker right now!

Ok - enough about my obession...let's get back to yours!! I just wanted you to know you are not alone in these crazy thoughts!! And I want to tell you that it is awesome you are TTC again!! And hey if it is twins again then that is just what is meant for you and your family. You seem to have done a pretty good job the first time around!
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#10 of 23 Old 10-13-2005, 01:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm glad to know I'm not the only one!

So, today I'm possibly a little less than a week pregnant--I don't even know if I'm pregnant yet--and I'm practically CONVINCED that I've conceived twins again. It doesn't make any sense. But my mom cracked open ANOTHER double yolk egg when I was standing right next to her the other day, literally as I *said* "I wonder if I'm having twins again. . . " And, really, the reason why I wonder is because I feel exactly the same as I did at this point in my pregnancy with Luke and Jaz, and I guess I just expected that it would feel less intense to be pregnant with just one. But that could be where I'm wrong. Or, I could just not be pregnant at all, and all of this is just my mind wanting to be pg and making me feel the way I did last time. Sigh.

I do think having twins a second time would be easier than the first time. . . aside from the fact that I'd still have that first set of twins! And whenever I catch myself thinking longingly of the sweet twin baby moments, I get a harsh reality check when I hang out with my best friend and her 2.5 month old twins. I seriously think I've blocked some of it out.

All of this worrying is just waaaaaay premature. If I AM pregnant, I won't get the early u/s like I did last time (when I was convinced I was having twins). I will wait until I measure big or something like that. I will not have a medicalized pregnancy this time, twins or no twins.

Thanks for the well wishes!

Lex

Mindfully mothering SIX kids (ages 5, 6, 8, 9, 11 & 11) in a small house with a lot of love.
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#11 of 23 Old 10-13-2005, 01:20 PM
 
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I used to feel this way. Now that the babes are just a tad older I can stand to contemplate the possibility without completely freaking out.
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#12 of 23 Old 10-13-2005, 02:38 PM
 
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Paranoid about multiples again - yes!

TripMom . . . . . loving mom : to DS (12) and BBG (10)
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#13 of 23 Old 10-13-2005, 06:23 PM
 
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Oh-oh, you've got me convinced with the double egg yolk thing. I also cracked open an egg with two yolks when I was pregnant with my girls, but before I realized I had twins. It was weird because I haven't seen a double yolk in probably ar least 15 years, and haven't since. I mostly believe it was just a huge coincidence...but then again...maybe you should stop eating eggs for now LOL.

We are also TTC and like a pp, depending on how rested I am, somedays I am paranoid, and somedays I feel like I could handle it. Also, since having twins, a handful of people have told me stories about people they personally knew who decided to have one more baby and instead had quadruplets. It just makes me a bit uneasy to listen to them. I start to feel targeted. I agree there is some sort of ptsd after having twins.

But most days, I would just love to have another baby(ies). Even though things are already pretty chaotic around here.

Anyway, good luck!
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#14 of 23 Old 10-19-2005, 05:50 PM
 
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actually, the fear of having twins again is the number one reason we are done.
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#15 of 23 Old 10-20-2005, 12:29 PM
 
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My babies from my second set are 3 1/2 mos old. My big kids are 4 yo.

Honestly, it's so much easier the 2nd time around. Much smaller learning curve. I already knew how to bf twins. Knew how to hold them, knew how to balance the needs of two crying infants, etc. I couldn't do anything by myself with the first set, now, I do practically everything for them by myself and dh takes care of the big kids.

Much, much easier this time around.

Granted, yes, one baby would be easier... but then someone would be missing. And I love our family.

Make sense??

Good luck to you whatever you decide and whatever happens.
Nancy

mama to Emily and Nathan 7/14/01
and Colby and Avery 6/25/05
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#16 of 23 Old 10-26-2005, 06:57 PM
 
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Ummm...yeah. That's why I had a tubal ligation. And my husband's so afraid something will go wrong with that and it'll happen again that he's planning to get a vasectomy too. The Boy and The Twins are enough for us!
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#17 of 23 Old 10-26-2005, 08:20 PM
 
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Terrified! I'd love to have *one* more but the thought of having twins again makes me think we might be done. It's wierd because my twins were easier than my singleton but I just don't want 5 kids - 4, yes, 5 we'd need a bigger house, a x-large van, more money, etc, etc. And plus one of the reasons I'd love to have another is to have midwives again (had them for my singleton, couldn't get them for my twins) and to have a homebirth.
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#18 of 23 Old 10-27-2005, 11:09 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommybritt
It's wierd because my twins were easier than my singleton but I just don't want 5 kids - 4, yes, 5 we'd need a bigger house, a x-large van, more money, etc, etc.
Yes, Mommybritt -- I totally kwym. We're at 4 kids right now with our two sets. And as much as I love having 2 sets of twins, I don't want 3 sets. Both of our sets were spontaneous. My periods are very irratic, my dr (and I) suspect that I probably always "drop 2 eggs" when I finally do ovulate. So, I am totally convinced I will always have multiple pregnancies.

I honestly would love to have another child. But, as much as 5 would be hard, 6 would be even harder. Right now, we're on the brink of outgrowing our house and theres no extra room in our van. And, we haven't even touched the subject of the cost of college tuitions.

So, I guess the question is not so much about having 2 more kids, but starts with how many kids you have to begin with. Make sense? And, for me and dh, 4 kids is enough. Doesn't mean I wouldn't like more, just that more becomes financially unrealistic. I hate that.

No one ever regrets the children the have, only the ones they don't.

Nancy

mama to Emily and Nathan 7/14/01
and Colby and Avery 6/25/05
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#19 of 23 Old 10-27-2005, 04:33 PM
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Last week when I was with my doctor, she got a call on her cell phone and was answering some questions about when to start a new pack of BC pills and saying things like "no,it's ok, you've done it right." Then she got off the phone and was like, "All my twin moms are REALLY concerned about birth control!" hahaha! DH and I are kind of scared, but at the same time this twin pregnancy has changed us in a lot of ways and, even before the arrival of the babies, certain aspects of our relationship have changed for the better....so who knows? Maybe our fear/dread about future babies/multiples will go away!
Kiran
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#20 of 23 Old 11-13-2005, 12:47 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by resimom
actually, the fear of having twins again is the number one reason we are done.
I couldn't have said it better! Two eggs the first time, over 35, twins run in the family on both sides. I was really considering, hoping for another single boy or girl but we realized for the sake of my sanity that three was the magic number!
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#21 of 23 Old 11-13-2005, 12:59 AM
 
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We are done, and dh has had a vas.
And STILL I am paranoid that I will get pg and have twins again!
Mine are fraternal and my ds was 7 months old when I got pg with them. So I perhaps have an exaggerated idea of my own fertility.
But after having 3 babies in less than 2 years I am convinced my body would have 1 or 2 babies every year if we didnt do something!
And magazines are just chock full of stories where Vasectomies and tubal ligations fail.
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#22 of 23 Old 11-13-2005, 02:27 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by johub
We are done, and dh has had a vas.
And STILL I am paranoid that I will get pg and have twins again!
Mine are fraternal and my ds was 7 months old when I got pg with them. So I perhaps have an exaggerated idea of my own fertility.
But after having 3 babies in less than 2 years I am convinced my body would have 1 or 2 babies every year if we didnt do something!
And magazines are just chock full of stories where Vasectomies and tubal ligations fail.

Me too! 3 babes in 2 years- we are done. I know Id end up with another set! And I am tiiiiredddddddddd and I want to enjoy my kiddos!
Danielle

ps DH is getting the big V.
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#23 of 23 Old 11-21-2005, 01:12 AM
 
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Actually, I wanted a second set very badly, but it was never meant to be.

I had a singleton with my first pregnancy.

I conceived twins with my second pregnancy, but lost one baby in the second trimester.

Had a singleton with my third pregnancy.

Conceived twins with my fourth pregnancy and delivered them at 34w,6d.

Conceived triplets with my fifth pregnancy, but lost 2 babies in the first trimester.

Conceived twins with my sixth pregnancy, but lost 1 baby in the first trimester.

I'm a fraternal twin and I always wanted twins, so I'm thrilled that I was able to carry one set to delivery. I've learned with this pregnancy that I have a maternal-fetal blood incompatibility (antibody c/antigen c), which has probably played a part in the losses that have occurred. I guess I'm one who can easily conceive multiples, but has trouble getting them to delivery. Doesn't matter, really, as this is my last baby. But yeah, I would have LOVED to have a second set. I think that would have been pretty amazing.
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