Crazy Questions you get asked with multiples? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 31 Old 10-31-2005, 03:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thought it would be fun to share this - especially for multiple moms to be - the questions are sometimes hysterical - and generally extremely repetitive. I'll start with an oldie but a goodie (or two) . . .

Do multiples run in your family?

You were using fertility drugs right?


Anyone care to join in . . . . . .?

TripMom . . . . . loving mom : to DS (7) and BBG (4.5)
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#2 of 31 Old 10-31-2005, 03:37 PM
 
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"Are you sure they're not identical?"

"Yes, I'm sure. They are a BOY and a GIRL."

"Well they look exactly alike to me."

"Well, I've seen inside their diapers and I can assure you they are not identical."
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#3 of 31 Old 10-31-2005, 04:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Did you know you were having multiples?

TripMom . . . . . loving mom : to DS (7) and BBG (4.5)
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#4 of 31 Old 10-31-2005, 04:22 PM
 
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I got asked the other day if they were twins. I guess one looked bigger than the other and she thought they were a month apart. Not sure how I would have managed that

I also get:

You had a c-section, of course.
Um, no, I had them at home.

You are not nursing are you? You can't possibly keep up with twins.

Also the "do multiples run in your family?" and "are they identical?" are ones I get constantly.

When I was pregnant I always got the "are you sure there are only 2 in there?" That was annoying, like I didn't feel huge enough without being reminded of it.
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#5 of 31 Old 10-31-2005, 04:30 PM
 
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"You're nursing two? You can't do that!" (really?) or "How do you do that?" (well, I could show you if you really want to see)

After asking if identical and being told they are, some saying "They can't be identical, one has more hair than the other."

And, although not a question, the statement that drives me craziest is someone saying "I had my two 12/15 months apart. It was just like having twins." While I am sure having such young babes so close together was indeed hard, it is NOT liking having twins. You don't have to learn to nurse two with floppy heads at the same time, two teething at the same time, two crying that sad newborn cry at the same time, two learning to sit/crawl/walk at the same time. Even if just a year apart, at least you can set the older babe down for a few minutes if you need to.

Sorry. Rant over. Getting off my soapbox now
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#6 of 31 Old 11-01-2005, 01:16 AM
 
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Also not a question but my current biggest peeve: "Uh oh, double trouble!" Said mostly when my two are sitting quietly watching the world go by from their stroller doing *nothing* to warrant that kind of comment. Makes me crazy.

"Two boys?" My daughter is in head to toe pink or wearing her shirt that says across the chest, "Girl."

Being out with twin infants/toddlers makes you realize how many people speak without thinking...

dust.gif & superhero.gif :: 9/2004
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#7 of 31 Old 11-01-2005, 01:59 AM
 
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Is this what I have to look forward to?

Miriam , mom to jumpers.gif
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#8 of 31 Old 11-01-2005, 10:53 AM
 
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Everyone always wants to make generalizations about their personalities, like, "she's the shy one" or "she's the troublemaker"... but my favorite is "which one is the evil one?" :
And it doesn't matter if they are both decked out head to toe in hearts, flowers, and pink frills... it's always, "a boy and a girl, right?"

~brooke~

Brooke: a glass~blowin' hand~drummin' tree~huggin' home~birthin' earth~lovin' goddess~mama of 3!
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#9 of 31 Old 11-01-2005, 01:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You didn't breastfeed them, right? (Yes I did)

I also get the - oh, I had my 2 or 3 spaced 12/15 months apart - its totally the same as triplets. (not really!)

Or my own mother -- I had 4 kids - its a lot of work Jessica - its the same thing (yeah but yours were over the course of 8 years! You never had 4 in diapers!)

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#10 of 31 Old 11-01-2005, 01:42 PM
 
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How bout 'ooh they seem so different'
Uh yeah. THey are boy/girl fraternal twins.
It is like everybody assumes twins are identical. Or even if they are fraternal that just being twins should make them magically more similar than they would otherwise be.
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#11 of 31 Old 11-01-2005, 01:44 PM
 
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Actually what I liked most is how the crazy comments and critiques (from my mom) stopped when I had twins. LOL If I had known she would stop harping when I had twins I would have had them first!
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#12 of 31 Old 11-01-2005, 06:14 PM
 
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The "I had them close so I know what twins are like" annoys me too. I've had them close, and I have twins. Not the same.

Another one that annoys me is "Oh, I always wanted twins!" I love my twins. And I think anyone who wants twins should get them
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#13 of 31 Old 11-01-2005, 08:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mimid
Is this what I have to look forward to?
Yup! So practice your responses now! Most people are so nice and kind - and in awe of your kids - they just don't know how silly or repetitive they sound! I always work extra hard to accept their comments, questions, "compliments" graciously.

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#14 of 31 Old 11-02-2005, 10:55 AM
 
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I actually got lots of "are they both boys" when mine were babies, even if both were decked head to toe in pink, I guess cuz they didn't have alot of hair?

And now we get lots of the "is she the friendly/grumpy/etc one?" I usually just answer "right this minute".

My most recent one that I had a horrible time keeping a straight face at (& didn't bother to correct) was when I had Ashlyn riding in the cart & Lexie riding on my back in the Kozy. The clerk at checkout looked at them (keep in mind that they're mz twins who MIGHT be a lb apart in size) and said "wow! They look alot alike! If they were the same size you'd think they were twins!" I just kind of smiled & mumbled "mmm-hhhh" I just couldn't figure out a good way to say "they ARE twins dummy!!!"

I especially love the "oh *I* can tell them apart" comments once people know they're mz. Sure, right this minute they have different expressions and their hair's probably a little different, etc. But let me go change their clothes & hair and bring them back in an hour & THEN see if you can tell them apart

I have found that now that the girls are older & rarely dress alike (they choose their own clothes) people are alot less likely to notice that their twins AND I don't mind if they ask, it seems like a logical question since at this age they COULD be friends, or closely spaced siblings or something.
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#15 of 31 Old 11-02-2005, 03:39 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gmvh
Also not a question but my current biggest peeve: "Uh oh, double trouble!" Said mostly when my two are sitting quietly watching the world go by from their stroller doing *nothing* to warrant that kind of comment. Makes me crazy.
This comment drives me INSANE!!!! I say "No...they are NOT double trouble! We are DOUBLY BLESSED!!!" and then quickly stroll away while .

Mimid: You asked if this is what you have to look forward to. I don't envy your adventures out at all. I was a big enough freak show with twins...I can not imagine what it will be like with three babies. You are going to have to put on a tough coat of armor and just plow through people just to get through the store. LOL!!

I started a thread a long time ago on this board called "Stupid Questions". It got TONS of responses. I searched and found it...thought you'd all like to peek at it too: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...upid+Questions.

Karen - Mama to Haven (9/00) , Lillie & Faith (MZ - 12/02) and my first homebirthed baby, Willa (3/08)
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#16 of 31 Old 11-02-2005, 05:13 PM
 
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How about this one, "Wow! You must be really busy!"

Not really a question, but I do get this comment *all* the time and it drives me crazy!
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#17 of 31 Old 11-02-2005, 05:36 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetpeas
My most recent one that I had a horrible time keeping a straight face at (& didn't bother to correct) was when I had Ashlyn riding in the cart & Lexie riding on my back in the Kozy. The clerk at checkout looked at them (keep in mind that they're mz twins who MIGHT be a lb apart in size) and said "wow! They look alot alike! If they were the same size you'd think they were twins!" I just kind of smiled & mumbled "mmm-hhhh" I just couldn't figure out a good way to say "they ARE twins dummy!!!"
HA! I get this one all the time! If one is being held or worn and the other is in the stroller or cart people always assume that the held one is an infant while the other is a toddler.
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#18 of 31 Old 11-02-2005, 05:43 PM
 
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But Craziest is how many people said to me. "Oh you must be carrying twins?" or "Are you having Twins?" durign my pregnancy and I would answer. "No. I just have big babies."
Then after I found out I was carryign twins I felt like a liar!! LOL
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#19 of 31 Old 11-13-2005, 07:54 PM
 
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Ahh, yes the twins comments and questions.

I had someone out to the house to measure for blinds a few months ago. Sam and Jack were in the living room playing. The guy measuring says, "Wow, they're pretty close in age, huh?". I said yeah, they are 20 minutes apart, so technically Sam is older. lol Then I went on to explain that they are fraternal twins and look no more alike than singleton siblings do. And since I was still PG at that time, I also got the standard "Wow, you've got your hands full!" "What are you going to do with the next one?"
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#20 of 31 Old 11-14-2005, 12:24 PM
 
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I also got the standard "Wow, you've got your hands full!"
This was my number one most hated comment. When my boys were little I heard this at least twice a week.
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#21 of 31 Old 11-14-2005, 04:00 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HairyArmpits
Everyone always wants to make generalizations about their personalities, like, "she's the shy one" or "she's the troublemaker"... but my favorite is "which one is the evil one?" :
And it doesn't matter if they are both decked out head to toe in hearts, flowers, and pink frills... it's always, "a boy and a girl, right?"

~brooke~
Lol I know these ones well, I pierced my girls ears to help with that and people whould ask if I pierced the boys ears to match his sisters "yah and thats why I dress that one in pink too" I have to say my all time worst question was WHICH ONE DO YOU LIKE BETTER? Some people shouldn't be allowed in public
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#22 of 31 Old 11-15-2005, 06:02 PM
 
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"Are you crazy?"

(after learning that i was breastfeeding)
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#23 of 31 Old 11-19-2005, 04:50 PM
 
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Here's one that amuses me. Some people ask if my boys are identical, which they are not (nor do they look it). Then this follow-up question:
How do you tell them apart?
Well, by the fact that they don't look alike.
Of course not to you - you're their mother.


Though my boys weighed exactly the same at birth and measured only 1/2" different, there is now 4 lbs. difference and 1 1/2" b/t them. So I now get this irritating comment:
(pointing at the larger boy) - He must've been born first.
[Well, he was (by 2 minutes) but that does not account for the fact that he is on a different growth curve from his brother, esp. when they weighed the same at birth.]

And my all time most hilarious encounter:
Were they born at the same time?
Yes, they are twins.
No, I mean, did they come out at the same time?
(me, with confused look on my face) Um, no. They were born two minutes apart.
Sometimes I still laugh over the idea that I would deliver two 6 1/2 lb. babies at the exact same time.
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#24 of 31 Old 11-22-2005, 11:56 PM
 
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The stupidest comment I got while pregnant was, "So what did you like do it twice or something?" Unfortunately, I thought of the good comeback after she (yes SHE) left with her little girl, "You mean you only did it once?"

I also get the "Are they both boys?" when the girls are swimming in pink clothes and blankets.

Indeed, there is a definite lack of forethought when people are mezmerized by the twins!
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#25 of 31 Old 11-23-2005, 02:37 AM
 
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The other day someone asked me if they were identical, I said yes and she said "so you have a boy and a girl." Um, no, then they would not be identical. People don't understand there is more to it than them just looking alike.
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#26 of 31 Old 11-23-2005, 11:44 AM
 
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I get tired of people asking if they are identical, and when I say that we dont know, they ask how many placentas, then I have to educate them that 2 placentas can still be identical!
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#27 of 31 Old 12-01-2005, 05:30 PM
 
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DH and I have b/g twins. We are asked:

'Are they twins?' (Yes)

'Boy and girl?' (Yes)

'Are they identical?' (They are until you take their diapers off!)

Waldorf mama to 5yo b/g twins
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#28 of 31 Old 12-04-2005, 02:03 AM
 
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wow. all i can think of when i see twins is to smile and say how cute they are. usually i ask boys or girls (or one of each) if its not easy to tell. like one set i saw were wearing yellow and green (yellow was a girl and green was a boy) I just love seeing twins and their mommies. so happy

Jami (25) Roland (27) & Caleb (5), Jacob (3.5) , Kaitlyn (2)
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#29 of 31 Old 12-04-2005, 02:05 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by medeanj
DH and I have b/g twins. We are asked:

'Are they twins?' (Yes)

'Boy and girl?' (Yes)

'Are they identical?' (They are until you take their diapers off!)
LMAO!! some people. *shakes head*

Jami (25) Roland (27) & Caleb (5), Jacob (3.5) , Kaitlyn (2)
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#30 of 31 Old 12-04-2005, 02:41 AM
 
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Once mine hit late toddlerhood I started getting the occasional "Which one is the good one?" : To which I'd reply "They both are, of course."

There was always a lot of "You must have your hands full" and "Double Trouble!" The Double TRouble one bothered me, I always responded positively with something like "Double blessings" or "not trouble, it's wonderful." I never wanted my kids to think they were trouble, especially to me!

Christine, mama to Daniel & Abby, 9 and Patrick, 4. Wife to a rockin' train engineer. Gluten and nightshade-free. Multiple kiddie food sensitivities.

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