How long after twins did you wait before TTC? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 15 Old 11-07-2005, 01:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello! I posted for a few months earlier this year but then didn't have a computer at home for a while so I went MIA. I am happy to be back. It makes me so happy to read about all of you wonderful Twin Mama's

Anyway, I have a question for you all. My boys are 16 months old, they are my only children. DH and I know that we want at least one more child but we are now discussing when we should start TTC. It wasn't even really up for discussion until last week because I didn't get my period back until then (still breastfeeding but they are FINALLY sleeping 4-5 hour stretches at night and don't nurse as often during the day). So, I'm just wondering how/when you all knew you were ready for another baby. I feel like I really have my hands full still with Tristan and Lucas most days and I can only imagine that they will be more demanding as they approach their 2nd birthday. I want them to have all of the love and attention that they need from me but I also really want them to have at least one other sibling! I've heard that twins hit the "terrible two's" earlier than singletons and that seems to be the case with my sons so far. We are on a one way train to Tantrumville some days it seems!

Any advice would be appreciated.
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#2 of 15 Old 11-08-2005, 10:03 PM
 
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hi ther! i am a momma of a 3 and a half year old, a 2 year old and a set of twins 3 months old. so if you feel you are ready you can do anything! it sounds like you are doing a wonderful job! as for the tantrums they hit between 18 months to 3 then they slightly change to other ways and means! but we learn with them so you will always be dealing with new adventures in life! if you need anything you can always right back! take good care
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#3 of 15 Old 11-09-2005, 12:44 PM
 
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I have a 2.5 yo and 2 mo old twins and we will not be having any more. With ds I started wanting another one when he was about 18 mo. Then I got pregnant with twins and it was really hard. Keeping up with a 2 yo while being pregnant was sooo hard and if I had known I would have waited longer. I think one thing you should really think about is if you will be able to take care and keep up with your twins while pregnant. My ds ran away from me one time when I was about 7 or 8 months pregnant and I could not catch him. He ran down our little cold a sac and on to the bigger road. I was very lucky there was no cars coming and dh came out of the house in time to catch him before he got too far. It was really scary and I looked pretty pathetic trying to run after him. Now he never runs away and I think if I had waited a few more months before getting pregnant it would have been a lot easier. That said, lots of people have kids really close together and love it. I think it really depends on your kids. Be patient ttc if you are still nursing, sometimes it takes a while to get pregnant. It took me 4 cycles while ds was still nursing every hour or 2, maybe going 3 hours at night. Good Luck!
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#4 of 15 Old 11-09-2005, 03:19 PM
 
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We definitely waited longer to start ttc than we would have if we had just had one baby the first time. I would have liked my 1st and 2nd to be two to at most three years apart in age. But instead, they came less than a minute apart! For number three, we realized that it wasn't as critical to have a third close to the first two since the twins will probably always choose each other as playmates, regardless of how much younger a younger sibling is. I got my period back at 21 months, and really wanted a baby, but didn't feel ready yet. I realized that part of wanting a third baby was wanting to have the experience of having just one baby, and really getting to BE with that baby. So, in order for that to happen, I needed to wait until Lukas and Jasper weren't babies anymore. We decided that we would ttc when Luke and Jaz were weaned, potty-trained, and sleeping through the night in their own beds. They reached those three goals at 2.5, and we started ttc last month when they were 32 months old. We are about to try again, and if we are successful, baby #3 will be exactly 3 and a half years younger than our twins. I think having at least 3-4 years between twins and a younger sibling is a good idea. Next fall, Luke and Jaz will go to preschool in the mornings, so--assuming I am successful in ttc--I will get a few hours each day for alone time with our new baby. I don't think the boys--or I--would be ready for that kind of separation before they were 3.5.

The first couple of years with twins are so consumed with baby care stuff--diaper changes, diaper laundry, feeding, nursing, getting them to sleep--and now I feel like my life is consumed with managing their relationship. So, even though I'm still totally consumed, it's a very different kind of mothering. The idea of adding a baby to the mix does not overwhelm me at all at this point.

HTH!

Lex

Mindfully mothering SIX kids (ages 4, 5, 7, 8, 11 & 11) in a small house with a lot of love.
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#5 of 15 Old 11-09-2005, 03:42 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahloughmiller
I have a 2.5 yo and 2 mo old twins and we will not be having any more. With ds I started wanting another one when he was about 18 mo. Then I got pregnant with twins and it was really hard. Keeping up with a 2 yo while being pregnant was sooo hard and if I had known I would have waited longer. I think one thing you should really think about is if you will be able to take care and keep up with your twins while pregnant.
: I was floored at how hard it is to keep up with the demands of an almost 2yo and be pregnant with twins. My pregnancy is going well, so considering that, I still have a rough time having the energy and patience that goes with having a 2yo running around all the time. He is 28lbs so picking him up more than a couple of times a day is quite taxing. If I had known how hard it would be while preggo, I would have waited until he is more independant. I have been so lucky that I haven't needed to go on bed rest or anything- I don't know how I would have done it so far.
Some days it seems like all I say is "no" LOL
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#6 of 15 Old 11-10-2005, 06:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all for your responses! After reading all of this and talking to DH we have decided we will wait another year before TTC. Ideally we'd like Tristan and Lucas to be sleeping well at night and close to potty learned before we have another baby. I can't imagine having to CD 3! 2 is hard enough sometimes. And I also don't think it'd be easy for me to still be breastfeeding twins during a pregnancy so I think they should either be weaned or showing signs of being ready to wean before I get pregnant again.

For now I think I'll just stick to holding the new babies at my LLL meetings to get my newborn fix
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#7 of 15 Old 11-11-2005, 05:25 PM
 
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My twins were exactly 2 years old when we conceived (a happy surprise... we had planned to start a couple of months later!). So the twins are 2 years 9 months older than the baby. Worked really nicely for us! I LOOOOOOOOOVE this whole experience, and it doesn't detract from my experience with my twins, only adds to it. Mothering just *ONE* baby is so easy compared with two -- it is literally night and day. I feel blessed to have this joyous, stress-free experience and also the special blessing that having twins is.
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#8 of 15 Old 11-18-2005, 04:22 PM
 
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Well our twins were about 11, nearly 12 months old when we conceived Ben.
Since Sam and Jack are IVF babies, we were absolutely shocked that we conceived on own.

We love Ben very much, but if I had to plan it, I would space them slightly further apart. Just my 2 cents.
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#9 of 15 Old 11-21-2005, 01:02 AM
 
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I conceived baby #6 when my twins were 18 months old. My #3 was 27 months old when the twins (#4/#5) were born and then the twins were 26.5 months old when #6 was born, so I've done 3 in diapers two separate times now. Really, it's not that bad!

I conceived baby #7 when #6 was 18 months old (and still breastfeeding), so once again, I'll have a 27 month age spread. I like this age difference, actually. It's hard at first, but as the kids grow up, they have playmates and that is an awesome thing. My #1 and #2 are 10.5 months apart in age and they're still best friends to this day (they're now 14 and 13), and then there's an almost-7 year age span between #2 and #3, which is way too much, imo, as they've got nothing in common aside from being siblings.

If you're still nursing your twins, I'd say hold off on TTC right away unless you're willing to endure painful nursing when you get pregnant again. My almost-2 year old is still nursing and holy heck, does it cause me pain!!! But he's not interested in weaning (though he's cut waaay back, thankfully) and I'm not going to push it.

Anyhow, sorry for the Good luck in whatever you decide to do!
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#10 of 15 Old 11-21-2005, 01:03 AM
 
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I didnt' try to conceive until mine were 5. I also had a child 2 years older than them so that didnt' help matters. It was partly because I didn't want to wean them until they were ready and I didn't want to nurse through a pregnancy or tanden nurse 3 children.
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#11 of 15 Old 11-30-2005, 02:10 PM
 
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I got pregnant when my twins were 9 months old. Not TTC, and my period hadn't returned, so I guess it was just meant to be.
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#12 of 15 Old 11-30-2005, 02:46 PM
 
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You're one amazing mama!!!
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#13 of 15 Old 11-30-2005, 03:40 PM
 
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We had planned to wait to TTC #3 until dd's were around 2.5, but we got a surprise +HPT when the girls were just 22 months. The baby isn't here yet (8 weeks to go!) but I think this is going to be a good age difference. DD's are really excited about the new baby, and they are looking forward to "helping" mommy.
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#14 of 15 Old 12-02-2005, 08:46 AM
 
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Mine are almost 3.5, and since they have both been pretty high-need for much of their lives I am only now feeling ready to do this again. just don't ask me on a day when I'm tired lol.

Christine, mama to Daniel & Abby, 9 and Patrick, 4. Wife to a rockin' train engineer. Gluten and nightshade-free. Multiple kiddie food sensitivities.

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#15 of 15 Old 12-03-2005, 02:20 PM
 
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I started getting the baby urge when my twins were about 1yo. We had "planned" to ttc when they were 2yo, but I drove my dh crazy until he finally relented at when the boys were 18mos. (I said, "Fine. If you don't want to have another baby, I am putting all birth control decisions IN YOUR HANDS." You can imagine how quickly after that I got a bfp!)

Imo, it's a little close together, but others might feel it's perfect spacing.

We do want more kids but I'd like to wait until the boys are at least 4yo before ttc again.
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