Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Northampton, MA
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We definitely waited longer to start ttc than we would have if we had just had one baby the first time. I would have liked my 1st and 2nd to be two to at most three years apart in age. But instead, they came less than a minute apart! For number three, we realized that it wasn't as critical to have a third close to the first two since the twins will probably always choose each other as playmates, regardless of how much younger a younger sibling is. I got my period back at 21 months, and really wanted a baby, but didn't feel ready yet. I realized that part of wanting a third baby was wanting to have the experience of having just one baby, and really getting to BE with that baby. So, in order for that to happen, I needed to wait until Lukas and Jasper weren't babies anymore. We decided that we would ttc when Luke and Jaz were weaned, potty-trained, and sleeping through the night in their own beds. They reached those three goals at 2.5, and we started ttc last month when they were 32 months old. We are about to try again, and if we are successful, baby #3 will be exactly 3 and a half years younger than our twins. I think having at least 3-4 years between twins and a younger sibling is a good idea. Next fall, Luke and Jaz will go to preschool in the mornings, so--assuming I am successful in ttc--I will get a few hours each day for alone time with our new baby. I don't think the boys--or I--would be ready for that kind of separation before they were 3.5.
The first couple of years with twins are so consumed with baby care stuff--diaper changes, diaper laundry, feeding, nursing, getting them to sleep--and now I feel like my life is consumed with managing their relationship. So, even though I'm still totally consumed, it's a very different kind of mothering. The idea of adding a baby to the mix does not overwhelm me at all at this point.
Mindfully mothering SIX kids (ages 5, 6, 8, 9, 11 & 11) in a small house with a lot of love.